Bonetrousle
by Beanus
Summary: Papyrus was and is a lively skeleton, and moving to the surface didn't change that one bit. How does a cool dude like him deal with things like interdimensional threats, complex emotions, and a lack of spaghetti? By being the Great Papyrus, of course. Set after the True Pacifist ending, Frisk a little girl. ON HIATUS
1. Gift that Keeps on Giving

Two years.

Two years had gone by since that fated day, when Frisk and an as-of-yet unknown partner of hers broke the barrier and freed all of monsterkind from Mt. Ebott. Led by their beloved king Asgore, monsters once again smelt fresh air, felt the sun on their skin (or lack thereof), and saw vast, sprawling forests waiting to be explored.

The modern world, radically different than the magical world monsters remembered, accepted them with gracious yet cautious arms. Led by Frisk along with Toriel and Asgore, human-monster negotiations went off without a hitch, and soon monsters had forgiven the humans for their horrible actions so many decades ago. Entering a golden age only a year after their revival, monsters mixed their magic with the humans' advanced technology to achieve wondrous levels of scientific and magical advancement.

"so didja hear the news about frisk, bro?"

What had two years, however, brought for the former heroes of the Underground? A life of luxury, unsurprisingly enough.

Undyne, with her staggering physical prowess and burning determination, ascended to army general in little over four hours of arrival. By her side as always was Alphys, who also rose in rank along with Undyne developing new field tech for the soldiers.

Asgore had finally convinced Toriel to forgive him and move in, convinced that Frisk would need a father figure in her life. Although Toriel always kept a mask of annoyance on her face when speaking about him, it would never take a sharp ear to hear the slight hint of re-sparked affection for the king, and as always Asgore was happy to talk about the old days with her, nose nuzzling and all.

As for Frisk? Well, she just continued doing what she did best; live. Through good times and bad, Frisk remained the dependable, clever and kindhearted girl that monsters and humans alike grew to know and love. Rumors of a small video game detailing her adventures underground surfaced, but none were able to confirm it.

"WHAT NEWS? WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, DO NOT?!"

"apparently, toriel found out that frisk can't grow anymore. magic and the underground's environment didn't react well to her, i think, and my studies show that-"

"BAH, I NEVER UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU GET INTO THAT SCIENCE-Y STUFF, SANS! GO NERD OUT WITH DR. ALPHYS IF YOU WANT, BUT A COOL DUDE LIKE ME HAS NO TIME FOR THAT STUFF!"

"well alright then, sheesh. the kid just wanted all of her close pals to know, it's really eating at her. whenever have you seen that kid sad anyway?"

"...SANS, QUIT YOUR GUILT-TRIPPING THIS INSTANT! I DO NOT APPRECIATE NOR TOLERATE IT!"

Sans could feel his ever-present grin widening a bit. Papyrus might be a bit flowery and dramatic, but he was a good guy. It just needed a little...prodding, that's all. Staring at his brother, Papyrus 'hmph'ed and turned away.

"I AM SERIOUS, SANS, I-I AM COMPLETELY CERTAIN THAT FRISK CAN...ERM...STOP LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY, SANS!"

"whaaaat? i'm not doing anything, that's all on y-"

 ** _*CRASH!*_**

Sans would have no time to finish his sentence as Papyrus jumped out the window and started running north, yelling about "VISITING FRISK FOR COMPLETELY INNOCENT REASONS THAT MAY INVOLVE SHARING COOLNESS". Chuckling, Sans leaned back and kicked his feet up unto the coffee table, turning the TV on.

"he'll be fine, you guys. shift the focus onto him, will ya? i ain't doing anything special, don't worry."

* * *

Let it be known that Papyrus had never bought anything in his life besides various tomato sauces, meatballs and spaghetti noodles. Understandably, walking into a small market and seeing all the different types of items confused him to no end. Nevertheless, he struck a dramatic pose as he walked up to the counter.

"I WOULD LIKE TO PROCURE ONE OF YOUR FINE PASTRIES, SIR!"

"Um, sure. Which one?"

"THE CIRCLE ONE! IT IS FOR A COOL FRIEND OF MINE WHO ENJOYS NON-SPAGHETTI DISHES! CRAZY, I KNOW, BUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS OPEN-MINDED!"

"...Sir, a lot of our pastries come in a circular shape. If you'd like, there's always the anpan, brioche, perhaps the Berliner..."

"WHAT THE HECK?"

Papyrus felt his eyes pop out at the strange names. Which one was the right...one?

"ERR, UM...WHAT WOULD THIS FABULOUS AMOUNT OF COIN GET THE GREAT PAPYRUS?"

Taking out a whopping $0.75 and a ball of lint, Papyrus proudly smirked.

"...a baguette?"

"OOH, SOUNDS NEATO! BA...GUETTE! OKAY THEN, I SHALL PURCHASE THIS UNDER THE GLORIOUS BANNER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

"Err, y'know what, this loaf is on the house."

"WHO'S HOUSE? I ALREADY HAVE ONE, GOOD SIR, BUT YOUR CHARITY IS MUCH APPRECIATED."

"I-It's just free. Take it."

Handing the skeleton the long loaf, Papyrus began to utter a victorious 'NYEH HEH HEH' before stopping himself short.

"WAIT...THIS IS MISSING SOMETHING. A-HA! HOLD ON THEN, OTHER BURGERPANTS, THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL RETURN! WITH CONDIMENTS."

Papyrus merrily jogged off to the isle labelled 'Toppings and Sauces' and grabbed the three nearest things to his right, holding them in his bony arm. Running back over, he slapped the three items onto the counter.

"HOW DOES IT LOOK, HUMAN? OTHER THAN MAGNIFICENT!"

"...Sir, this is creamy chipotle sauce, sprinkles and...are these bacon bits?"

"ANYTHING COOKED BY MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS HAS AN EVENTUAL END GOAL OF HAVING FLAVORS... **TO DIE FOR! NYEH HEH HEEEEEEH!"**

"Whatever you say, then. You have exactly the right amount of money to purchase these things, are you sure that you...uh...want to?"

"YES!"

Staring at the tall, almost delirious skeleton, the employee finally sighed and bagged the items before handing it to Papyrus. Excitedly dumping the items out of the bag, Papyrus popped open the chipotle sauce bottle and drowned the poor thing, liberally applying sprinkles and bacon bits.

" **HEY!** W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"HOW ELSE AM I, THE GREAT AND RESOURCEFUL PAPYRUS, GOING TO TRANSFORM THIS BAGUETTE INTO A BEAUTIFUL SCULPTURE OF CULINARY PROWESS?"

"O-Outside, that's where! Dude, it's all over the counter, that's disgusting! What are you even trying to make?!"

Staring down at the bread drenched in chipotle sauce, sprinkles and bacon, Papyrus proudly held the soggy loaf in both gloved hands, eye sockets sparkling in awe.

Shoving it into a plastic bag and shoving _that_ bag into another, Papyrus jogged off and out of the store with a triumphant 'NYEH HEH HEH'. Customers, having watched the scene, slowly returned to whatever they were doing, monsters in the store quietly laughing.

"...you never make me things like that."

"R-RG02, bro, I'll make you a nasty sandwich if you want! Any day! I'll make you anything, f-forever!"

"...thanks."

* * *

"Well, uh, it can't be all that bad, right? Frisk, think of all the things you can do at 54 inches tall!"

Smacking Asgore over the head, Toriel gave him an annoyed look as she resumed tenderly rubbing her back.

"Do not worry, my child, I as well as all your other friends will stand by you regardless of how-"

 _*knock knock knock*  
_

"Hmm? Whoever could that be?"

"I-IT'S NOT PAPYRUS! I ONLY SOUND LIKE THAT AWESOME GUY."

"You can come in, Papyrus, the door is unlocked. My child, look glad, a friend has come to visit."

"DRAT, YOU ARE FAR TOO INTELLIGENT FOR MY WILY SCHEMES, YOUR HIGHNESS!"

Papyrus entered the room and clumsily bowed. Sweeping his gaze over to Frisk, Papyrus strode over, crouching down to meet the young girl's...face. 'Gaze', he mused, wouldn't be quite right.

"IS IT NOT A NICE DAY TODAY, FRISK? THE SUN IS SHINING, THE BIRDS ARE SINGING, AND HUMANS LIKE YOU...SHOULD BE NOT SAD! I HAVE BROUGHT A GIFT, FORGED FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE."

Plopping the odd amalgamation of bread, sauce and toppings in front of her, Frisk alternated her face swings between the bag and Papyrus.

"SO DO NOT CRY BECAUSE YOUR BONES ARE ON GROWTH STRIKE. BE HAPPY, AS THIS MEANS THAT I CAN NOW MAKE YOU ANY AND EVERY DISH YOU COULD POSSIBLY ASK FOR! IF YOU CAN EVEN SPEAK, BUT THE OFFER IS STILL HERE. NYEH HEH!"

"Thank you, Papyrus. Tori, dear, doesn't Papyrus' gift warm your heart, as well?"

Asgore stomped over, peering into the bag. Although by this point he wasn't quite sure what kind of food it was, it did smell pretty appetizing.

"As...long as it doesn't get onto the floor, I suppose. Well, my child, what do you think? It is your gift, after all."

Frisk, turning herself towards Toriel, then did something no one expected.

She smiled. And then laughed. An affectionate laugh, filled with the mirth and warmth of a child.

"Such a lovely sound, isn't it dear?"

"It certainly is...oh, I think I may just laugh too."

Papyrus, filled with confidence, started to excitedly squeal and jump up and down before collecting himself.

"...AHEM. OF COURSE IT WAS WELL DONE! THERE IS NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO FOR MY COOL FRIEND FRISK! BESIDES THE CROSSWORD, AS IT'S...EH...TOO EASY FOR A SKELETON OF MY STANDARDS!"

Frisk's laugh grew, and eventually Toriel and Asgore joined her. Papyrus, however, tilted his head in confusion.

"...WHAT? WHAT ARE WE ALL LAUGHING AT? DID SANS MAKE ANOTHER PUN WHILE I WAS OCCUPIED?! **SANS, YOU KNOW I OUTLAWED PUNS WITHIN MY VICINITY AS PART OF OUR DEAL! SANS!** "

* * *

"...huh?"

Waking up from his third nap, Sans groggily looked around.

"...huh. i think something called my name. and that something...is food."

Grinning, Sans made his way to the kitchen to clear out the fridge, swearing that he heard someone dissing on his puns.

* * *

 **A/N:** Get ready for Papyrustale! **  
**

This story is going to be fun to write, as Undertale is a rarity; an entire likable cast of characters who all have at least three funny moments. Hopefully it gets better as I get better ideas, so stick with me. Promise it's gonna be a fun ride.

Now to answer a specific review on the other story, Of Misunderstandings and Spaghetti, from LarsMars (But I read the other reviews, thanks guys!). As you said, Frisk's gender is undefined in the game, and it's ambiguous enough to leave the decision to you. So I chose Frisk to be a little girl, because I felt it would work better in a story. I could have Frisk comfortably be a boy and not change much, though.

Alright then, see you guys next chapter!


	2. The Spirit of Halloween: Part One

"tomorrow is halloween, bro. we won't be the only skeletons on the block anymore, huh?"

Sans, chuckling at himself, stopped short when he saw Papyrus dramatically throw his newspaper onto the ground. Looking at his brother with a surprised expression, Papyrus had all sorts of question etched into his face.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! THE HUMANS WILL TURN INTO SKELETONS ON ALL HALLOWS' EVE?!"

Sans, quickly having an epiphany, felt his grin widen. _i could have fun with this_.

"yeah man, who didn't know? humans, on halloween, turn into all sorts of monsters with some sorta moon transformation dealio. those costumes they wear that you buy in stores? it's to hide them from all the non-believers. it's pretty extensive, bro."

Papyrus, mind expanded to cosmic degrees, slowly sat back into the couch.

"IT...IT ALL MAKES SENSE! HOW FRISK COULD SURVIVE IN THE UNDERGROUND SO EASILY! HOW THE HUMANS WELCOMED US WITH SUCH LOVING ARMS! HOW METTATON GAINED SO LARGE A FANBASE IN COMPARISON TO A COOL DUDE LIKE ME! HUMANS **KNOW** WHAT BEING MONSTERS FEEL LIKE THIS **ENTIRE TIME!** "

Sans, playing along, let his pupils shrink in surprise. In actuality, it was due to the difficulty in holding in raucous laughter.

"in more ways than one, yeah. you better tell our resident human this info, bro. maybe...you might get famous from this."

"OH MY GOD, SANS, YOU'RE RIGHT! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER, YOU ARE RIGHT! HOLD DOWN THE FORT WHILE I AM AWAY, BROTHER, AS WHEN I COME BACK I WILL BE LIVING A LIFE OF PRESTIGE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Running towards the door, Papyrus stared at the open window for a minute before walking over, carefully shutting it and then jumping through.

 _ ***CRASH!***_

"...ah geez, what'd i just create? oh wait, i know the answer. a... **humerus** situation. heh."

Sans, kicking back, turned his phone on and punched in some numbers. A familiar voice soon crackled into the other side.

 _"Good morning, Sans! Is there anything you needed of me?"_

 _"i'm all good, tori, but you should watch out for a very excited skeleton coming your way."_

 _"Very ex...what?"_

 _"you'll find out when he comes over. talk to ya later, tori."_

Abruptly hanging up, Sans snapped his bony fingers immediately after, a Gaster Blaster phasing in. Uttering a low, spectral growl, it awaited orders.

"make sure papyrus doesn't do anything hasty or gets himself hurt, yeah? thanks."

Nodding, the Gaster Blaster disappeared, leaving Sans alone once more. Shrugging, the shorter skeleton made his way back to his favorite room; the kitchen.

* * *

How do people have fun with these, again?

Frisk was lost in thought as she stared at the building blocks, almost willing them to do something useful. It's not like you could build a castle out of five blocks and an empty cup, that's for sure.

Or maybe you-

 ** _*CRASH!*_**

Deciding that the blocks can wait, Frisk jumped back and scrambled onto the bed as Papyrus combat rolled into the room, taking out a tiny broom and sweeping the glass shards off of her carpet and out the window. Coughing into his hand, both occupants stared at each other before Papyrus remembered why he entered in the first place.

"FRISK! I COME WITH IMPORTAN- NO, **DIRE** NEWS! I HAVE DISCOVERED THE HUMANS' **DEEPEST AND DARKEST SECRET!** "

Nodding, the girl decided that she was a fairly good secret keeper. Rarely finding a reason to speak played a large factor in that.

"HUMANS...TRANSFORM INTO MONSTERS ON ALL HALLOWS' EVE! WHICH IS TOMORROW! WE MUST BROADCAST THIS INFORMATION TO **ALL** HUMANS! FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY!"

Frisk could feel her eyes widening at Papyrus' revelation. They actually didn't due to her near-constant poker face, but the general impact was there.

"YES...I CAN SMELL SURPRISE COMING OFF OF YOU! WOWIE, YOU SHOULD MOST PROBABLY TAKE A SHOWER, JUST SAYING."

 _ ***SLAM!***_

The door smashed open, a frightened Toriel hurrying through.

"MY CHILD! A-ARE YOU...oh."

Waving happily at Toriel, Papyrus innocently grinned.

"WHY HELLO THERE, YOUR HIGHNESS! I WAS JUST TELLING FRISK ABOUT...THINGS! COMPLETELY INNOCUOUS HUMAN THINGS! NYEH HEH!"

Toriel, relieved that nobody got hurt during the confrontation, simply sighed.

"Must you always enter through windows, Papyrus?"

"INDEED! I WATCHED ONE OF THOSE ANIME THINGIES WITH DR. ALPHYS, AND COOL MUSCULAR DUDES ALWAYS MAKE A DRAMATIC ENTRANCE! COOL MUSCULAR DUDES LIKE ME!"

Toriel sighed again, shoulders slightly sagging.

"You are indeed strong, Papyrus, but please do not enter through the window regardless. I do not need my only child having a heart attack when she is still in grade school."

"HMMMM, IT'LL BE A TOUGH JOB YOUR HIGHNESS, BUT I'LL DO IT! NOW THEN, I SHALL BE BORROWING FRISK FOR...ERM...QUICKLY, FRISK, TELL THE QUEEN WHY!"

Frisk simply toddled over and patted Toriel on the leg, who nodded understandingly.

"Be back before dinner, ok?"

Nodding, the young girl gently pushed past Toriel, already heading down the stairs. The skeleton was, however, in a current state of shock, jaw hanging comically open.

"...WHAT?"

"You...do not understand her?"

"WHAT...WAS THERE TO UNDERSTAND?"

"Well, that pat obviously meant that Frisk was feeling brave enough to venture out without my assistance. She has already, as you know, and it is not like she is alone in her journey. The independence of youth..."

"WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, IT MAKES A DISTURBING AMOUNT OF SENSE. VERY WELL THEN, YOUR HIGHNESS, I SHALL BE OFF! WITH FRISK!"

Running out of the room with one last 'NYEH HEH HEH', Toriel watched as both figures slowly disappeared over the hill.

"What do you think they're doing, Tori?"

"I cannot knowingly answer. Knowing Papyrus, it couldn't be that bad...could it?"

"It is a day before this...Halloween, Tori. Papyrus is most probably taking Frisk out trick-or-treating a day early, he is quite clumsy."

Toriel giggled, slowly closing the door.

"In that case, I should expect that their journey was **boned** from the start, yes?"

"...Huh? Oh, I get it!"

Toriel stared at Asgore for a moment before sighing and walking away, subtly sulking.

"Not even a laugh...?"

* * *

"no way, she really said that? heh."

The Gaster Blaster nodded in affirmation, having already relayed the current information to Sans. Finishing the rest of his hot dog, Sans wiped a few crumbs off of his shirt before facing the Gaster Blaster once again.

"keep doin' what you're doin', make sure papyrus and the kid don't get into any big trouble, ya hear? call me if anything interesting happens."

Growling, the skull disappeared, Sans sinking back into the couch.

"i wonder how undyne is doing...?"

Reaching over the phone, Sans got barely half-way before he dropped his bony arm.

"y'know what? they're probably real busy, and what kinda guy am i to interrupt them? heh, i guess it's time for my third midday nap."

Getting up and slowly shuffling over to his room, Sans idly thought about what to dream about this time before deciding that he was exerting far too much effort for a Saturday anyway.

* * *

 **A/N:** Part 2 coming soon! As in a few days soon! Or tomorrow, who knows. I still love writing this, for anyone interested.

One review!

 **LarsMars:** Thanks for the kind words and visiting, hope you enjoyed this chapter and (hopefully) the next one!

Next chapter: Papyrus and Frisk get on live TV! Papyrus learns the true value of Halloween! Trick-or-treating! All this and probably more, tune in next time!


	3. The Spirit of Halloween: Revengeance

"WOWIE, YOU SURE KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND THIS PLACE."

In the span of little over an hour, Frisk had taken Papyrus across the city, past a multitude of stores (a couple Halloween-themed ones had Papyrus screaming 'BROTHER?!' before he managed to collect himself) and other assorted buildings. Finally, they reached it. The headquarters of Ishikari Today.

"I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH FANCY SPELLING, WHICH OBVIOUSLY MEANS WE MADE IT TO THE RIGHT PLACE! NOW ALL THAT'S LEFT IS TO GET IN AND GET **HEARD!** "

Pulling a dramatic pose, his efforts were met with tiny claps on Frisk's part. Looking around, he immediately spotted a closed window.

"NYEH. HEH. HEH! PERFECT, ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! THE GREAT PAPYRUS GETS TO SAVE THE HUMANS **AND** MAKE A ELEGANT ENTRANCE!"

Grabbing Frisk and tucking her under his arm like that of a football, Papyrus looked towards the window with a confident expression...

...before abruptly turning around, opening the door and marching straight through it, closing it behind him with a soft _click_.

"SEE? ELEGANT. THAT WAS A PRETTY COOL WINDOW THOUGH."

Turning his gaze over to the bewildered receptionist, Papyrus waved happily.

"I AM HERE TO TALK ON YOUR NEWS SHOW ABOUT THE SECRET OF ALL HALLOW'S EVE! DO NOT WORRY, HUMAN, THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOES NOT JUDGE. BUT FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, WHAT MONSTER DO YOU TURN INTO?"

"D-Do you have an appointment, sir...? Does...the girl...?"

"...WAIT, WHAT? HAVE WE SCHEDULED AN APPOINTMENT, FRISK?"

The smaller girl shook her head before resuming an idle nap in Papyrus' arm. Papyrus couldn't tell, anyway.

"Wait, Frisk?! As in, 'liberator of monsterkind and ambassador' Frisk?!"

Pulling her head back up a second time, the girl nodded slowly.

"WELL, I WOULDN'T GET THAT FLOWERY BUT YES I-"

"I'll phone you in, ASAP! God, the boss is going to promote be big time for finding **THE** Frisk!"

Papyrus, watching the man furiously punch numbers into the desk phone, pouted a bit.

"I DESERVE SOME RECOGNITION TOO...GAH! FOCUS, PAPYRUS, THIS MISSION IS FAR GREATER THAN YOUR MAGNIFICENCE! ALTHOUGH I AM QUITE MAGNIFICENT..."

* * *

"Thank you, Sarah. Now then folks, this next visitor is a bit different than the others, and their appearance certainly is...surprising. And unplanned, to say the very least."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Ted. It's time to introduce our special guests; Frisk and Papyrus!"

The crowd roared to life as Papyrus strolled into view, although the applause was more for the little girl riding on his shoulder. Still, a confident goofy skeleton surely won over the hearts of few.

"NYEH HEH HEH! HELLO THERE, HUMANS AND NOT HUMANS! AND SANS!"

Frisk simply nodded, and the audience died down soon after. Sitting on a couch opposite to Sarah and Ted, Papyrus placed Frisk next to him as they both comfortably sank into it.

"So then, Papyrus, you say you need to share with us humans some important news?"

"INDEED, AND THE MATTER IS MOST QUITE GRAVE. HUMANS, I HOPE YOU ARE SEATED AND NEAR A BATHROOM, FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL NOW BLOW YOUR MINDS! AND PERHAPS YOUR PANTS, THAT IS WHERE THE BATHROOM PART COMES IN! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Collecting himself, Papyrus noticed that he was now standing on the couch, he was laughing to the ceiling, and everyone was looking at him like he was insane.

"Err, you know what? Would you be insulted if we asked Frisk a few questions first?"

Collecting himself, Papyrus sat back down and cleared his non-existent throat.

"SURE THING. I MEAN, NOT AT ALL, IN THAT CONTEXT! ANYTHING FOR MY COOL FRIEND!"

The two anchors excitedly turned their gaze over to Frisk, who notably shrank under their gaze.

"Is it true that the scary monsters tried to kill you during your journey?"

"Is it true that the underground's environment permanently affected your body? And nobody did anything as a countermeasure against this...travesty?"

"Is it true that this 'determination' created the Amalgamates? Why wasn't it discussed in the peace talks?"

Edging towards Papyrus, Frisk wilted under their aggressiveness. The skeleton in question wasn't completely blind, and lowered his gaze down concernedly. Didn't Frisk enjoy the attention? Papyrus mused to himself that he certainly would've, but for now that'd have to take a backseat.

"HEY FRISK, YOU'RE NOT LOOKING TOO HOT RIGHT NOW. ARE YOU...ALRIGHT?"

Shaking her head, the two anchors stopped their questions.

"Hmm, quite rude that you aren't answering our questions. Here we thought you were a hero."

"Yes..."

" **Didn't your mother teach you any respect?** "

Surprised at their sudden heel-turn, Papyrus alternated his gaze back and forth between Frisk and the anchors, the former he noticed tearing up. Papyrus, standing up, also did something nobody expected.

He got genuinely upset. For perhaps the first time in the head of the Royal Guard's life, he felt nothing but negativity towards the old man and woman. Was it perhaps the thought of _someone_ crying that upset him? Was it Frisk, his close friend, that was different? Papyrus was confused, but more than anything did he feel like giving them a piece of his mind.

"HEY. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE SPEAKING TO HER."

"Well, we didn't ask-"

 **" I WILL IMPLORE YOU TO LET ME FINISH, HUMANS."**

Papyrus' right eye-socket burned with an orange, vindictive fire before he took a breath, willing his anger to be buried. Stunned by the finality of his statement and behavior, the anchors silently sank back into their seats.

"I WISH TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE. I KNOW, IT'S A SILLY GOAL. ONE FOR CHILDREN, YOU MAY SAY TO YOURSELF. BUT I THINK IT'S REALLY COOL TO HAVE FRIENDS WHO WILL ALWAYS STAND BY YOUR SIDE, AND TO ALWAYS STAND BESIDE THEM. BUT YOU? I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. BOTH OF YOU."

Turning around for a brief moment, Papyrus wiped away a few tears pricking at Frisk's eyes.

"YOU MADE FUN OF MY COOL BEST FRIEND. YOU THEN MADE FUN OF HER MOTHER, WHO IS A VERY NICE GOAT LADY WHO RAISES FRISK WITH ONLY THE MOST UTMOST CARE AND ATTENTION. ALTHOUGH I DO NOT SPEAK FRISK AND I MYSELF HAD SOMETHING TO SHARE, I THINK THAT IT IS TIME THAT WE MADE OUR EXIT."

Gently picking up Frisk and cradling the tiny girl in his arms, Papyrus made for the door before stopping and turning around.

"...THANK YOU, HUMANS. YOU HAVE FORCIBLY OPENED MY EYES TODAY TO THE KNOWLEDGE THAT NOT ALL HUMANS ARE AS COOL AS FRISK. MAYBE SOME HUMANS ARE EVEN AS EVIL AS FLOWEY, BUT I'LL NEVER KNOW. THIS IS...PERHAPS THE ONLY THING I CAN THANK YOU FOR."

Walking out, Papyrus gently pushed open the door before walking away. The cameras went back to the anchors' stunned silence.

* * *

"...what?"

Sans, Toriel and Asgore stared numbly at the television, the rapid-fire events already having lost them.

"wow, those guys were real jerks. but...man, papyrus really stepped up to the plate here."

Asgore poked a despondent Toriel, not noticing that Sans had already gotten up and left. Walking towards his room, Sans turned back around to see the Gaster Blaster phasing back in.

"oh yeah, why didn't you do anything, ya big dummy?"

The Blaster growled in response.

"...fine, good point. blasting those two on the telly _woulda_ gotten them into big trouble, huh? but papyrus handled it really well."

Sans looked up towards the ceiling before taking a breath.

"hey, should...nah, y'know what, i don't got the heart to tell him that the halloween thing was a prank. he already one-upped me for the year."

Grinning at his brother's genuine bravado, Sans idly thought about what celebratory meal he should make for his brother.

"a cool dude deserves a cool meal."

* * *

 **A/N:** Suddenly drama. I always have a feeling that, when push comes to shove, Papyrus can get just as powerful as his brother. That applies verbally, I guess. **  
**

Sorry that this isn't all a lighthearted story, but I'll just say here that the drama will never get deeper then this. No eldritch spaghetti gods looking to enslave humanity or whatever.

Read your reviews, thanks for the enthusiasm, guys! I don't think I'll be able to respond to all your reviews from now on due to time constraints, but I read them all.

See you next chapter.


	4. Party Plans

"welcome home, bro."

Papyrus let out a lengthy sigh as he set his keys down, trudged over to the couch and sat down with a heavy _flop_ , making sure to be careful with Frisk. Still, the welcoming face of his brother lightened his mood just a tad.

"SANS, TODAY HAS BEEN THE ABSOLUTE WORSE! NOT ONLY WILL HUMANS TURN INTO SCARY MONSTERS ON ALL HALLOW'S EVE, BUT I HAVE BEEN A TERRIBLE FRIEND. HOW COULD I HAVE SAT THERE SO IDLY WHILE FRISK WAS...LIKE THAT?"

"what are ya talkin' about? you laid 'em out real good, paps."

"...PAPS?"

"it's my newest nickname for you, cool dude. do ya like it?"

Papyrus, trying to keep a mask of annoyance towards his brother, failed spectacularly. Smiling, he nodded.

"I'LL ALLOW IT!"

Both shared a brief chuckle, relaxing into the green couch.

"heh, that's awesome. hey, by the way...outside was pretty-"

"DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT STATEMENT, SANS."

Papyrus, having laid Frisk down into a dog bed next to the couch (having previously served in his shed) and wrapped her in his scarf, stared down at his brother with a serious expression.

"i just sorta stuck my hand out and oooh, the wind just chilled me-"

"SANS WE HAD A MOMENT DO **NOT** RUIN THIS"

"to the-"

"SANS I WILL HARM YOU"

 **"bone."**

Papyrus blankly stared at his grinning brother for what seemed to be forever.

"SANS, I AM UPSET. I AM MULTIPLE LEVELS OF UPSET RIGHT NOW, SANS. EVERYTHING IS **TERRIBLE.** "

"but you thought it was witty, right?"

"NO, IT WAS NOT WITTY AT ALL AS WE ARE SKELETONS!"

"well it took your mind off of the kid's situation, right?"

Papyrus, glancing back at the kid in question, noticed that Frisk had already gotten rather comfortable, pulling the scarf tighter around her tiny frame.

"SOMEWHAT. SANS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? THAT RIGHT THERE?"

"uh, the kid is havin' a good sleep?"

Realization briefly flickered through Papyrus' face before he coughed into his hand, looking away for a moment.

"RIGHT...BUT OH. SO. WRONG! SANS, YOU KNOW HOW TODAY SUCKED A LOT?"

"yep. as you tell me multiple times."

"...GET IT? TO **DAY**? TO **NIGHT** WILL BE OH SO DIFFERENT! SANS, GET READY FOR THE ULTIMATE SLEEPOVER EXPERIENCE!"

"aw geez paps, i can barely contain the excitement...oh wait, i never lie. whoopsie doopsies."

Looking at his brother with a deadpan expression, Papyrus simply walked away.

"JUST...GET YOUR BEST SLEEPY TIME CLOTHES ON."

"you know you love me."

* * *

The first thing Frisk woke up to was the smell of marinara sauce. It actually smelled...good. And if there was anything that motivated her, it was the prospect of food, from garden snail pie to Papyrus' famous Triple Layer 'Ghetti.

"AH, IT LOOKS LIKE FRISK FINALLY WOKE UP! WELCOME TO THE GREAT PAPYRUS' ULTIMATE SPOOKTACULAR DAY-BEFORE-ALL-HALLOWS'-EVE PARTY! NYEH HEH HEH HEH! ALSO, SANS IS HERE. HE HAS PROMISED NOT TO MAKE TERRIBLE PUNS AS HE IS A BAD INFLUENCE."

"more like a _rad_ influence. or-or maybe i'm just bad _to the bone_ and-"

 **"SANS"**

Giggles escaped Frisk's mouth as she took in Papyrus' full outfit after he turned around to bore holes into Sans with his eye-sockets. Baggy sweatpants with the word 'JOGBOY' written on the side, fuzzy pink rabbit slippers and an apron that said 'NUMBER #1 COOLEST DUDE IN THE UNIVERSE', adorned with the image of a muscular Papyrus wearing golden sunglasses.

"heh, she's laughin' at your weird outfit, paps."

"IT IS NOT WEIRD, BROTHER! IT IS LEAGUES ABOVE YOURS, ANYWAY! YOU LITERALLY ONLY TOOK OFF YOUR JACKET!"

"yeah, but due to that jacket my shirt has been totally clean all day, so it's fine."

"WHAT ABOUT YOUR PANTS THEN?"

"have i also mentioned that i have done nothing but sleep and watch the telly today? feels good, man. no need to do laundry when everything is perfect."

"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU EVEN **DID** THE LAUNDRY?"

Sans looked up thoughtfully before returning his gaze.

"...last week."

"OH MY GOD DO I HAVE WORDS FOR YOU, MISTER!"

Sans and Papyrus were far too occupied in their bickering to notice the spaghetti on the stove.

That was currently being eaten.

"...AND THAT IS FINAL! NOW THEN... **HEY!** NO, BAD FRISK, DOWN!"

Frisk, guilty as charged, froze in her perch above the spaghetti. Cheeks full, Frisk turned her head slowly to stare at Papyrus.

"SPIT IT OUT!"

 _bleck._ A little.

"ALL OF IT!"

 _eck._ A little bit more, including a meatball.

"SANS! HELP ME!"

"you won't get dessert if you keep bein' naughty kiddo."

Spitting out the remainder of the spaghetti and meatballs _back into the pot_ , Frisk walked back over to the table and patiently sat back down. Sans winked to Papyrus, but he was currently preoccupied.

"WELL, IT ISN'T ALL THAT BAD! ALL I NEED TO DO IS REAPPLY SAUCE AND...OH WHO AM I KIDDING?! I HAVE BEEN A TERRIBLE FRIEND TO YOU, FRISK!"

Running over to the little girl and picking her up by the armpits, Papyrus' puppy dog eyes pierced her SOUL.

"TODAY MUST HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE FOR YOU, HASN'T IT? FIRST I ALMOST BORROWED THOSE PRETTY COOL SKELETONS FROM THAT ONE STORE WITHOUT PAYING THE NICE YET MUSCULAR AND NOT ALL THAT NICE MAN, THEN I MADE YOU CRY, AND NOW I HAVE MADE YOU RELINQUISH MY BEAUTIFUL PASTA! I AM A FAILURE..."

Papyrus, looking away, began to weep. A warm hand on his cheek, however, distracted him.

"...no."

Shocked, Papyrus looked back at Frisk. Same poker face as ever, but he could see a glimmer of determination behind those sleepy eyes.

"You didn't fail...you never have...you're good to me, pappy. That's...all I could ask for. Thank you. Today was...nice."

Her voice came out as a whisper, almost as if Papyrus alone was meant to hear it, although looking back one could never miss Sans' big grin.

"hey, let's just have dinner now, guys. pasta is better with three, ya know."

Giving his brother a big grin, Papyrus set Frisk back down and sat in his own seat.

"I COULDN'T AGREE MORE. HALF-EATEN SPAGHETTI COVERED IN HUMAN CHILD SALIVA _IS..._ KIND OF NASTY, ACTUALLY. THIS IS ALL YOURS, FRISK, ALL OF IT."

* * *

"A-And what if she's not getting proper nutrition?!"

Asgore sighed patiently as he waited for his beloved ex-wife (although he wished to change that as soon as possible) to stop panicking. The thought of Frisk sleeping in a house that wasn't their own truly frightened her, huh? The trials of being a parent...

Pushing away melancholic memories of Asriel, Asgore got up from his seat and placed a gentle hand on Toriel's shoulder.

"Tori, Frisk will be absolutely fine. It's just a sleepover with Sans and Papyrus, how dangerous can it get?"

"...B-But-"

"Tori, please, whenever you're worried it makes me worried tenfold. Do you want me to call them right now?"

"That would make me feel a little better."

Smiling, the former king nodded and pulled out his phone, punching in numbers. After a few seconds, voices could be heard from the other end.

 _"slow down there kid, you might eat the pot too, heh."_

 _"SANS, DO NOT INSULT OUR HOUSEGUEST ON HER POT-EATING HABITS WHILE I AM ON THE PHONE! OH, HELLO YOUR HIGHNESS!"_

"Howdy, Papyrus! I'm just calling to check up on how Frisk is doing!"

 _"AH YES, FRISK IS DOING ABSOLUTELY PEACHY AND/OR CREAMY! EATING LIKE ANY OTHER HEALTHY VACUUM CLEANER AS WELL! BUT THEN AGAIN, MY PASTA HAS THAT EFFECT ON EVERYONE WITH COOL TASTES! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"_

"Well that's just perfect. Thank you for taking such good care of Frisk for us and say thank you to Sans as well. Oh, right, does our little girl have anything to say?"

 _"LET ME ASK HER. FRISK, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO KING ASGORE?"_

 _"...hi dad."_

 _"a little bare- **boned** , don'tcha think?"_

 _"SANS."_

Abruptly hanging up, Asgore was left with nothing but static on the other end. Chuckling, he closed the phone and turned around to find Toriel asleep in the armchair.

"Haha, one evening starts and another evening ends. Goodnight, my love."

Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, Asgore trudged up the stairs to take a hot bath. What he didn't notice, however, was the former queen's soft smile as he exited the room.

* * *

"...HEY SANS, ISN'T IT NEATO TO GET CALLS FROM FAMILY? WHY DON'T WE GET THEM?"

"i'm pretty sure we're the only skeleton family, paps."

"DRAT! OH WELL, AT LEAST ONE OF US CAN SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT KNOWING OUR FAMILY IS SAFE, SECURE, AND WHOLE."

The conversation would've ended there, if not for a tiny cough.

"Not...everyone. There's still...Asriel."

"DIDN'T THE PRINCE DIE BY HUMAN HANDS MANY A MOONS AGO?"

"yep. why bring it up though, kid?"

Frisk's mouth wavered just a bit, but determination pulled her through.

"Asriel, he's not...gone. Alphys...Alphys resurrected him. A golden flower...with the will to live, but no soul...no compassion...i-it...I couldn't...save..."

A comforting hand placed itself on the girl's shoulder, and Frisk looked to the side to see Papyrus' smiling face.

"HEY, DON'T CRY. THE PRINCE MAY HAVE TURNED INTO A MURDEROUS DEATH-FLOWER WITH NO CAPACITY TO LOVE, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE TURNED INTO A MURDEROUS DEATH-FLOWER THAT COULDN'T IMPROVE A LITTLE. IN ANY CASE, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I, COOLEST FRIEND PAPYRUS, WILL HELP YOU IN THIS TRYING TIME!"

"i'm kinda surprised that you're takin' this so well, paps, but you got my hand in here too, kid. if we can get asriel back to his usual self, then we've effectively untied all knots in this big ol' conflict string. this also kinda ties in with my research, too..."

"Where...do you think he is?"

"I HAVE SADLY NOT COME ACROSS A FLOWER TRYING TO KILL ME HERE, SO HE IS MOST PROBABLY HANGING AROUND UNDERGROUND. I HOPE HE IS NOT DESTROYING OUR OLD HOME..."

"pack some extra 'ghetti paps, we're going back to ebott tomorrow. i mean, right after we pay a visit to alphys 'n stuff."

A smile crept onto Frisk's face, although nothing was said. Perhaps there wasn't any need to.


	5. A Flower and Fair Maiden

"O-Oh, hey guys! It's, uh, really been a while, huh? Ehehehe..."

The party had travelled over to Alphys' lab the next morning, under the guise of taking Frisk on a "scenic mountain gazing trip where the gazing was not on Mt. Ebott nyeh heh heh". After many hurdles, most involving Toriel, Frisk was allowed out.

"HELLO, DR. ALPHYS! TODAY IS A WONDERFUL DAY TO TALK ABOUT SOULS, RIGHT?!"

"err, better let me talk. hey alphys, sorry to keep this all business (since i hate working) but we gotta ask you some stuff. stuff that involves a certain golden flower that has the will to live."

Alphys' eyes widened.

"O-Oh my god, how do you guys...oh right, Frisk. Um, you guys should probably come inside for this, it, uh, i-it isn't exactly pleasant..."

Walking in, Papyrus turned back around to pull a gift-wrapped bone out of his pocket, winking to Frisk. Silently taking the bone and shoving it into her pocket, Papyrus pouted and crossed his arms.

"Well, uh, w-welcome to my happy home!"

The lab, upon better inspection, looked to be virtually the same as the one underground, if not for the sizable increase in anime merchandise sitting in a corner. Various bits and pieces of metal were strewn about a messy table already filled with tools, and a cork board filled with scientific notes and pictures of anime hung. Near the door was a film reel of various pictures that Alphys and Undyne were in, at least three of them involving kisses.

"WOWIE, IT LOOKS JUST AS BIG AND NERDY AS THE OLD ONE, IF NOT MORE SO!"

"Um, thank you? Now, uh, let's get back to...uh...that. That stuff you wanted to talk about, Sans."

"alrighty then. long story short, we wanna get asriel back. not flowey, we want the crown prince. how can we get this done? i have my own theories, but hey, you were royal scientist for a reason."

"...Ok, well, I promised you guys and Undyne that I'd be honest, so I will be. Uh, I've been...rebuilding the DT Extraction Machine. But it's for good purposes, I swear!"

"THE OLD ONE WAS FOR GOOD PURPOSES, TOO! THEN EVERYONE MELTED. BUT HEY, IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!"

"moving on...what is the new extraction machine used for?"

"The transfer of soul energy. N-Now before you guys look at me funny, let me explain; human souls are way different now than what they were when we were sealed in Mount Ebott. One modern human soul seems to equal the power of two old human souls, for whatever reason. So I've been, uh, erm...c-collecting them. S-Stray ones, I mean."

"that's...convenient. d'ya think that centuries of all sorts of nasty stuff and not so nasty stuff gave 'em a buff or...?"

"I-I don't actually know, but...maybe? But back on track. If you can find Flowey and manage to bring him here without everyone dying, I think I can transfer a soul into him. Well...I'll try as best as I can, anyway. I owe you that much, Frisk."

Perking up, the little girl nodded and gave a smile towards Alphys, who straightened up a little and smiled back.

"NEATO! WELL, LET'S GET THOSE BONES SHAKIN' WHILE THERE IS STILL DAYLIGHT!"

"wow paps, you actually made a point. alright then, see ya later alphys. i'll text you over my research notes tomorrow."

Waving, the three friends exited the lab. Alphys, sighing, pressed a button from a remote in her lab coat. A large machine in the shape of a goat skull rose from a panel in the floor, humming to life along with several terminals.

"Don't fail me now. Please, just don't."

* * *

"...and then papyrus totally cried like a baby."

Frisk giggled at the story of their final moments underground as she continued walking the dark cave with the two skeletons. Papyrus, so passionate about Frisk's condition, started "catching things in his eye" for approximately half an hour before she woke up. During that time, Papyrus had filled up his kitchen sink with not bones, but tissues.

"FOR THE LAST TIME SANS, THAT WAS NOT 'CRYING', THAT WAS MERELY AN ALLERGIC REACTION!"

"to what?"

"FAINTING!"

Papyrus childishly turned away and hunched over, crossing his arms.

"GEEZ, NOW WE'RE MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE WITH DANGEROUS ALLERGIES?! I COULD HAVE REACTION'D ALL THE WATER OUT OF MY BONES!"

"all the water that ya don't have?"

"SANS! I WILL HAVE YOU NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHGKLH"

"sorry what?"

Stopping to a halt and pushing Frisk back with his arm, Sans watched his brother fall down a gigantic hole.

"bingo. hold on tight, kiddo."

Grasping onto Sans' coat, Frisk nodded as her whole world went dark for the briefest of moments. During that time, she swore she saw some sort of draconic skull-like creature...smiling at her.

Solid ground hitting her feet, Sans chuckled as Frisk stumbled back a bit.

"don't worry kid, you'll get used to it. it's pretty convenient when you need to grab some 'dogs but don't wanna be up for too long. now then, where's...oh. hey bro."

Turning around, Frisk saw her tall bony friend currently getting a face full of golden flower. He sprung back up soon, however, striking a fabulous pose.

"DO NOT WORRY, NO BONES WERE BROKEN IN THE FALL! WELL, NONE THAT WERE IMPORTANT. ACTUALLY, I HOPE MANY BONES ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT."

"nothin' that a rainbow band-aid won't fix. alright, let's look for..."

"Howdy!"

A squeaky, vaguely innocent voice bounced off the walls of the cave, causing Frisk to jolt upwards. Moving to Frisk's left, Papyrus assumed a combative stance that involved numerous complicated poses while Sans merely took his hands out of his pockets, cracking his knuckles with a sinister sound.

"yeah, now i recognize that voice. and how much grief it caused me all those other times. come on out, flowey, we ain't gonna hurt ya. well, not unless you do something dumb."

Flowey popped up almost immediately, surprised. Upon inspection, the sentient golden flower looked a bit aged, petals slightly worn and a duller shade of yellow.

"What...what are you three doing down here again? Forget something?"

"YEP. YOU!"

The simplicity of Papyrus' statement stunned Flowey, before the flower chuckled bitterly.

"My...you surely ARE idiots, aren't you? Do you know how stupid that idea is? Letting a being with no soul, no capacity to love or be loved, be near all those humans and monsters?"

"nah. but it ain't my idea. you got the floor, kiddo."

Frisk stepped forward and past Sans, gently crouching down to meet Flowey's gaze. The flower inched back just a bit, deeply perturbed at her presence.

"I...don't want you to hurt anymore. Flo- Asriel, we...we can fix you. Dr. Alphys...has the machine and soul necessary."

"I...I...Frisk, I-I don't need anyone! I'm happy here! Can't you...see that? I have all the room I want, the underground is mine! Everyone is happy, Frisk!"

"THESE SNOWMEN THAT LOOK LIKE THE KING AND QUEEN DON'T LOOK HAPPY."

Flowey flinched, looking away.

"Nobody wants me around anymore. Frisk, don't you see? In this world, it's kil...i-it's..."

"...not that world anymore. asriel, come back. there are more than a few people who'd like to see you again, i can say that for sure."

Frisk leaned forward and gently pressed her forehead to Flowey's, causing the flower to tear up.

"I don't...I-I don't want to hu...hurt them a-anymore..."

"Then come with us...we can fix you. If not, you're _always_ welcome with me. You don't have to be alone anymore..."

Feeling a sudden welling of determination, Frisk embraced the former prince with a smile.

"Because Chara sleeps, and...so long as I live, he won't ever wake up."

"Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisk...!"

Weeping, the little flower wilted in her grasp, and for the first time in forever Flowey felt genuine distress.

"hey kid...i got the pot. whenever you wanna pick up flowey, you say the word."

"Just...a little bit more. Thank you, Sans."

Winking, the shorter skeleton leaned back onto the cavern wall, chuckling as his brother attempted to do the same but came up short.

"you got it, frisk."

* * *

"Do you...do you think they'll be happy to see me again?"

"Yeah...Toriel will cry. But in a good way. I think Asgore might, too. They're really good people."

Flowey chuckled, a small strain of mirth bubbling up in him. As they made small talk, Papyrus stepped over them and knocked on the door to Alphys' lab.

"DR. ALPHYS! WE HAVE THE CROWN PRINCE!"

"whoa there, bro, no need to shout that kinda stuff. might make some people go nuts."

Scoffing, Papyrus slammed his fist against the metal door once again.

"DR. ALPHYSSSSSS! PLEASE HOLD ONTO YOUR NUTS! WE HAVE THE CROWN PRINCE!"

Finally, the door opened...to an incredibly disheveled Alphys in pink, Bunsen burner pajamas.

"H-Hold onto your...what? S-Sorry, I was watching the newest installment of Mew Mew. Did you guys know that there are like, ten seasons? And I didn't even know?! Like, oh my god, I thought Mew Mew 2 was like, the end of the entire show as I know it, but WOW does it...uh...h-heat...uh...r-right. Um...yeah."

Noticing the weird stares she was getting from everyone involved (excluding Frisk, who had her ever present blank face), Alphys awkwardly shuffled aside.

"Please come in! The machine is totally ready, I ran multiple hypothetical tests and even one real test!"

"OOH, WHAT HORRIBLE MELTY MONSTER DID YOU MAKE THIS TI- OWWWW!"

Recoiling from his brother's bony elbow, Alphys chuckled. After everyone came inside and got comfortable (Frisk remembering to water Flowey before she sat down included), Alphys coughed into her sleeve.

"Nah, it was totally a success! Say hello to Spoony. Or as he wants to be called, George."

Alphys picked up a small teaspoon, which perked up at the sight of new people. It had adorably beady eyes and a mouth curled into a smile.

"Hello! Pleased to meet you, put me in a cup!"

Placing him back into his cup to the answer of 'yaaaaay', Alphys awkwardly blushed.

"He...only thinks about cup-related things. It's cute, but if your conversation with him doesn't devolve into something involving a warm cup of coffee that needs sugar or a nice tea that tastes better stirred, there's something wrong. E-Err, anyway, that's Flowey huh?"

Flowey perked up a the mention of his name.

"Heh. How are you doing...A-Alphys?"

She scratched the back of her head half-guiltily and half-awkwardly.

"Oh, I'm a-alright...um, hey, I'm really sorry that I brought you back without a soul. You didn't...really deserve it, and it was another bout of 'mad science', and..."

"Look, it's ok. I'm feeling a lot better now, but I think it'd be pretty dandy if I could see my parents again with real warmth in my heart. Could you, uh...?"

"Oh, definitely! You don't have to worry about these souls...wriggling. They don't seem to have a conscience."

"really? that's...new."

Taking out a white orb from her pack, Alphys nodded.

"I talked to them about like twenty different things, but none of them responded?"

"WERE ANY OF THOSE TWENTY THINGS ABOUT YOUR NERD CARTOONS FOR SMALL CHILDREN?"

"M-Maybe?! Look, let's just get to the point here, geez! Place him in the Soul Converter's pedestal, right there."

Picking up Flowey and gently placing the pot into the Soul Converter, Frisk patted his pot reassuringly. Flowey awkwardly smiled back, watching Alphys place the soul into the Soul Converter's main drive and inputting commands into a nearby console.

"H-Hopefully this works, Frisk. Hey...thanks for not giving up on me. You...really are my best friend, huh?"

The little girl smiled, nodding.

"I'd...like to believe."

A brilliant flash of white soon enveloped the flower, and the entire room as well.

"OH MY GOD, I'VE GONE BLIND! THE CROWN PRINCE MUST BE INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS! METTATON LEVELS OF GORGEOUS!"

"actually, the process isn't done yet. next chapter, probably."

"SANS! DO NOT PLAY YOUR WEIRD TIME TRICKS ON - NYAARGH THE LIGHT IS GETTING BRIGHTER SOMEHOW!"

* * *

 **A/N:** Rad, a new chapter! Will it work? Will Asriel join the ranks of 'main character'?! I dunno, read the next chapter. God. **  
**

Thanks for the encouragement as always guys, it really is a treat writing this. Next chapter will come quickly, don't miss it!


	6. The Crown Prince

"WOWIE, THIS LIGHT IS REALLY TRYING ITS HARDEST HERE! I DON'T EVEN HAVE EYES AND YET I CAN FEEL SOMETHING BURNING!"

"actually, it's just a mind trick. the light is gone."

"REALLY? YOU'RE NOT LYING TO ME, RIGHT?"

"nah."

"OKAY THEN, I'LL JUST OPEN MY SOCKETS AND NYAAAARGH I HATE YOU THOSE SUNGLASSES ARE STUPID"

Sans turned towards his brother with a trademark grin, large sunglasses taped to the sides of his skull. Papyrus, still covering his face, didn't even need to look back at him to know that his 'dunked on' expression was full and waiting for him.

"ayyyyy."

An explosion rocked the lab, causing everyone to knocked away from the Converter. At last, the light began to subside, and Papyrus slowly opened his eyes to see blurry shapes. Shakily getting up, the taller skeleton noticed Frisk head-first into a ficus, Alphys stuffed inside a trash can groaning, and his brother half-lodged half-sleeping in the wall, sunglasses missing.

"SANS, WAKE UP RIGHT THIS INSTANCE! HOW ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A DRAMATIC MOMENT WITH YOUR INCESSANT SNORING?!"

"T-There's no need, Papyrus, I don't need a fancy intro or anything..."

 **CROWN PRINCE OF THE UNDERGROUND, A-S-R-I-E-L D** -

"N-No, I'm serious. Thank you, though."

Turning back around, Papyrus' jaw dropped as he took a look at the newly (or as Frisk would consider it, secondly) recreated Asriel. Slightly taller than Frisk due to age taking him, Papyrus was surprised in that the crown prince looked incredibly like Asgore.

But then again, so did Toriel. Small world.

"WAIT...YOUR MAJESTY?! HOW DID YOU GROW SHORTER? AND SHAVE? AND GET THAT NEATO STRIPED SHIRT WITH FABULOUS COLOR INTEGRITY?"

"Haha...hello, it's great to see you too, Papyrus. I, uh, hope we can be great pals despite the stuff I did as a flower. Admit it, they were pretty weird."

"HUH...SURE! AS I ALWAYS SAY, JUDGE BOTH MONSTERS AND HUMANS AS THEY COME. AND AS YOU ARE NOW, YOU'RE PRETTY COOL. BUT NOT AS COOL AS ME! NYEH HEH HEH...WAIT, THAT SOUNDS REALLY MEAN. YOU CAN BE...UH...THIRD LIEUTENANT OF COOL! BEHIND FRISK!"

Blinking in confusion, a warm smile soon graced Asriel's features.

"...thank you, Papyrus, that means a lot to a monster like me."

"I COULD IMAGINE."

Papyrus grinned back, returning Asriel's kindness with his own.

"YOU'RE JUST AS KINDHEARTED AS YOUR MOTHER, I CAN TELL. THIS BAG OF BONES AIN'T ALL BLIND, YOU KNOW!"

"I never doubted you, Papyrus. Hey, we should really help out Alph...er, Dr. Alphys and Frisk. Oh, and we can't forget Sans, can we? Goodness, that looks painful..."

"RIGHT...BUT WE CAN FORGET ABOUT SANS. FOR NOW. HE'S ALREADY BROKEN OUT THE PILLOW, AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT NOTHING SEPARATES MY BROTHER AND THAT PILLOW."

* * *

"...ri...Fris...Frisk!"

Frisk woke with a startled yelp, banging her head against Asriel and causing him to fall over onto the other side of the couch, groaning. The faint smell of a burnt...something was in the air, and although she couldn't see, she swore she hit something...furry.

"Agh...heh, maybe I shouldn't have shook you that hard. But, uh, howdy Frisk! It's me, _really_ me. And I'm really happy to see you again!"

Frisk, stunned, said nothing as she stared at Asriel, eyes finally opening to reveal a brilliant blue. Asriel, nervous and slightly scared, shuffled a bit before awkwardly clearing his throat.

"Hey, uh, Frisk? Are you ok? You're looking a little pale, and it's really worrying me. Don't worry, me and Papyrus drove Dr. Alphys over to Undyne's for some rest , so she isn't hurt if that's wha - OOF!"

Asriel yelped as Frisk slammed into him, grasping tightly onto his back and burrowing her head into his chest.

"I'm so glad...I'm so glad...you're alright...Toriel and Asgore...t-they'll be so..."

Hearing her mutters, Asriel choked back a sob and took a deep breath as he gently placed a hand on Frisk's head, running it through her hair. The warmth he felt was almost...alien.

"Frisk...thank you so much. Remember when I said I didn't want to let go back in that void? I guess...I don't have to now."

Wrapping his other arm around her, both siblings held each other for what seemed to be a century before a familiar skeleton barged into the room, carrying three plates of hot spaghetti and causing Asriel to nearly crush Frisk in his arms in fright. Where was the third plate located? Balanced atop his chef's toque, of course.

"I KNEW YOU TWO WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP OVER A MEAL, SO I DID YOU GUYS A FAVOR AND DIALED T.G.I. PAPYRUS! PREPARE FOR THE MOST DELICIOUS SPAGHETTI YOU HAVE EVER TASTED IN YOUR LIVES, NYEH HEH HEH!"

Slapping both plates onto the coffee table and gently sliding the third into his hands, Papyrus waited for praise with a confident smirk. Asriel, gently pushing Frisk off his lap, noticed that his plate had a large amount of toppings.

Specifically, an entire chunk of someone's lawn. It covered the pasta completely.

"Um, Papyrus? I hate to be a bother, especially this early, but what is...uh..."

"I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, CROWN PRINCE! FOR CENTURIES, HUMANS HAVE PUT LEAFY GREEN WHATEVERS ON TOP OF THEIR PASTA FOR FLAIR AND FLAVOR! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS LOOKING TO IMPROVE HIS ALREADY GODLIKE SPAGHETTI, OF COURSE, SO I SIMPLY ONE-UPPED THEM! NYEH HEH!"

"B-But...is this someone's mail?"

"aw geez paps, you really **mailed it in** on this one, huh?"

Slowly turning around, Papyrus stared at his brother, whose smile seemed to stretch onwards towards infinity.

 **"...SANS"**

"sans here, how can i help you?"

"...I AM HALF-EXTREMELY IRATE AT YOU FOR MAKING BAD PUNS, AND HALF-RELIEVED THAT YOU WOKE UP IN A TIMELY FASHION. GOOD JOB, BY THE WAY."

"yeah, no problem bro. hey, is that asriel? lookin' good, kid. well, lookin' better than when you were a flower, that's for sure."

Dusting off a bit of debris from himself, Sans shoved his hands back into the pockets of his coat.

"T-Thank you, sir."

"call me sans. nobody ever calls me sir unless i'm being knighted. huh, i should get one of those."

Trudging over and sitting down across from Frisk and Asriel, Sans put a hand to his chin to contemplate. Frisk parroted him without a word, causing Asriel to chuckle a bit at her antics.

"yeah, that way i could relax all day and no one would nag me for it. that'd be awesome."

"HEY WAIT, IF ANYONE DESERVES TO BE A ROYAL KNIGHT IT SHOULD BE ME! ALSO, YOU NEED AN EXCUSE TO BE EVEN LAZIER?!"

"...man, why is everyone makin' good points today. my day is already busy, what with calling tori about the good news."

"...Wait, you called Mom about-"

 _"YOUR BALANCE IS...FOUR-DOLLARS AND...NINETY-EIGHT CENTS."_

"...yes. any question you may have had, yep."

Asriel stared at the skeleton for a minute before promptly freaking out, putting both hands to the sides of his head and groaning loudly.

"H-How am I going to explain that I'm alive?! A-All the years of being dead, and suddenly their son has come back from the dead? I-I don't even know if they want me anymore...what if they moved on? W-What if they...?"

Placing a small hand on his, Frisk reassuringly squeezed his hand.

"It'll be fine...I'll make sure you're taken in with...the same love I got. Why wouldn't they want you back?"

"W-Well...I just...I dunno, I'm scared! Scared to see them again! Scared to break their hearts again! Scared to tell them...everything I did."

"THAT WAS FLOWEY. YOU ARE ASRIEL, COOL RECRUIT OF THE PAPYRUS CREW AND CROWN PRINCE OF THE UNDERGROUND! I'M SURE THAT THE QUEEN AND KING WILL BE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Encouraged by Frisk's own determination and Papyrus' enthusiastic innocence, Asriel sat up just a bit straighter.

"T-Then...I won't disappoint! I promise I'll be there for everyone from now on! I don't...want to lose any of you, ever again."

 ** _*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*_**

"looks like our guests of the hour have arrived."

* * *

 **A/N:** And that's where I end this chapter! Man, this story really is growing, huh? I'm really happy that you guys enjoy what I'm putting out, and trust me when I say that I read _every_ review.

But I should really be showing some love for my older stories...


	7. Family

"looks like our guests of the hour have arrived."

The door opening agonizingly slowly, Papyrus managed to get in one final quip before the forms of Asgore and Toriel were visible.

"WAIT, WHY DID YOU REPEAT THE SAME COMMENT YOU JUST SAID NOT TWO MINUTES AGO?"

"Sans, what was this about...a-a..."

Toriel, upon opening the door fully and seeing Asriel in the flesh, dropped the pie she was holding with an audible splat and shakily brought her hands up to her face. Asgore, noticing this sudden silence but not seeing his son due to her form blocking him, lumbered past her and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Tori? What's wrong? Why do you look so...?"

Turning his gaze over to the living room, Asgore felt time stop as he saw a familiar white ball of fuzz sitting at the table. Memories flooding into his mind both heart-wrenching and wonderful, all rational thought came to a screeching halt as he simply...stared.

One thought passed through both of their minds, however; is this real?

Asriel shrunk under his parents' indescribable gaze, watching them just stand there like statues. Toriel and Asgore's eyes bore a complex mix of emotions within them, and the realization that he could once again feel everything they were feeling made him pick up on the atmosphere quickly.

...

Asriel was torn between telling himself that they were scared of this beast, this pile of garbage in front of them and giving into his more hopeful side that they were so happy to see his face again that they were stunned silent. At last, however, Toriel solved his internal warring.

"Oh, my boy! My darling baby, Asriel!"

"here comes the bowl a' honey nut feelios. you're welcome, kid."

Stopping Toriel's advance by getting up and diving into her open arms, Asriel dug his face into his mother's shoulder as she hysterically cried, Asgore eventually scooping both of them into his own arms.

"If this is a dream, let it be that I never wake up...o-oh, my son, I thought I'd never see you a-again..."

Asriel, not being able to restrain himself any longer, bawled from the very depths of his heart. Relief and regret poured out of him through his tears and into Toriel and Asgore, who took in his pain and mixed it with their own.

 **"NYOO HOO HOO HOO HOO! *SNRK*"**

Papyrus sobbed into a handkerchief made entirely out of bones and blew his nose, earning odd looks from Sans and Frisk.

"why're you cryin', paps?"

"I-IT'S JUST SO HEARTWARMING TO...TO SEE A FAMILY REUNITED! THEIR FAMILY EVEN MORE! W-WHAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULDN'T DO FOR... _*SNIFF*_ A HUG RIGHT NOW, TOO!"

His wishes were answered by a small mass pressing against his breastplate. Looking down, he noticed Frisk attempting to embrace him with slightly disappointing results due to her height. It was the thought that mattered, though.

"FRISK...YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOME IN CLAN PAPYRUS! YOU COME HERE TOO, BROTHER, WE ARE TURNING THIS INTO A LARGE GROUP HUG!"

"oh no i'm good, don't worr-"

Papyrus ignored his brother as he scooped him up in his other arm, hoisted him over his shoulder and dived into Asgore, causing the king to chuckle, open his arm and welcome the three into the hug as well. After staying like that for ten minutes, Asgore finally spoke up once everyone calmed down.

"I don't know how...h-how you brought our son back. But you should know that you have my undying gratitude Sans, Papyrus...Frisk."

"Yes, what sort of family would we be without our daughter and some relatives? My child, you are _always_ welcome to stay with us no matter how big this family gets. And as for you two silly bones, how would it feel to be honorary Dreemurs?"

Gasping, Papyrus squealed in delight and jumped up and down before managing to collect himself. As he was Papyrus, however, it didn't last long.

"WOWIE, I'D LOVE IT! SANS, WE'RE ROYALTY NOW! I CAN PROBABLY CREATE MY OWN ROYAL GUARD! FOR ME!"

"heh, that's awesome. now i can be that cool, lovable uncle guy who still gets to crack some puns."

"FIRE OFF A PUN AND I WILL BEGIN SCREAMING, SANS."

"the cannons are loaded."

"NO STOP"

Ignoring the laughter coming from Toriel and Asriel, Sans coughed into his hand as Papyrus turned back and glared daggers into him.

"...nah, i don't got anything, you're safe for now."

Papyrus, letting out a sigh of relief and turning back around, didn't notice his brother's widening grin that told the rest of the Dreemur family that a bad pun will be totally dropped. Toriel and Sans, exchanging winks, looked over at Papyrus.

"i mean, if i had to be honest now your reaction was **_tibia_** 'spected."

"Indeed Papyrus, today would be a skele- **ton** of disappointment if Sans and I didn't crack any puns!"

Papyrus began screaming over Frisk's raucous laughter. You wouldn't be mistaken if you thought it was a contest to see who was louder.

* * *

It was a few hours after Papyrus stopped loudly screaming and paid a fine for disruption of peace, during which the family had travelled back to his and Sans' house to be respectful towards Alphys. During their walk home, Asriel had mustered the courage to tell his parents about his revival into Flowey, Chara's genocidal plot and the concept of Determination, it's effects and relationship with the timeline's consistency. Sans had occasionally piped in as well, citing his research and his tests with 'the Machine'.

Asgore turned his gaze to the sidewalk, expression melancholy. Asriel looked guiltily at him before turning to Frisk, who placed a supportive hand on his shoulder and another hand on Asgore's leg.

"Chara...but he looked so happy. Why would even think of such a horrible thing...?"

"It was something before he fell, Dad. Something made him so bitter, so evil that he just wanted it all to end. I didn't want to believe it, but...hey, so did I, right? I should know out of everyone..."

Toriel sighed as well, shaking her head as she picked up the pace to keep in line with everyone.

"This is all...far too much. My child, since when were you were able to manipulate time itself?"

"When I fell down...at first, I was determined to leave alive. Then...I met Flowey, and I wanted to save him."

Asriel looked up and smiled, patting Frisk on the head.

"Mission accomplished, sis. Thank you again, I...I don't think I'll ever stop saying that, haha."

"AND THEN SHE MET US, NYEH HEH!"

Smiling up at Papyrus, the skeleton felt his confidence skyrocket as he instinctively pulled a dramatic pose, cape disappointingly flapping in the soft breeze.

"Yep...I wanted to save the monsters with all my power. And then, well...I was filled with determination. All the little things...all the big things...they were all so wonderful."

Sans, chuckling, went ahead of the group to unlock the door. Looking back, he noticed could swear he saw Frisk giving another one of her rare broader smiles that he loved to see.

 _i'm gettin' soft,_ the shorter skeleton mused before getting back to the conversation.

"abridged much? but hey, i ain't judgin'. i already did that in the king's castle, anyway."

"COME IN, COME IN! NOW THAT YOU ARE ESTEEMED FAMILY MEMBERS, YOU'LL GET MY PREMIUM, VIP, ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SPAGHETTERONI FOR DINNER!"

Producing a chef's toque from...somewhere, Papyrus bolted into the kitchen.

"...Spaghetteroni?"

"INDEED, SPAGHETTERONI! AN INVENTION BY NONE OTHER THAN I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS! IT IS SPAGHETTI, MACARONI, RAVIOLI, AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT ENDS WITH AN 'I' AND IS IN THE KITCHEN ALL IN ONE POT! OH, THERE'S ALSO TOMATO SAUCE ON IT. LOTS OF IT."

"Isn't macaroni served with a cheese sauce, Papyrus?"

"IT ISN'T IN PAPYRUSLAND, ASRIEL! AND THE POT! IN ANY CASE, GET YOUR STOMACHS READY AND/OR WILLING BECAUSE THE COOLNESS MIGHT JUST OVERWHELM YOU! NYEH HEH HEH!"

Sans, chuckling at the sound of several metal objects clanging against each other and his brother's frantic screams, turned around and sauntered over to his room.

"welp. while god-tier chef papyrus over there prepares the feast this ol' bag a bones will take a quick snooze."

"Very well then, wake up on time! I am sorry that I must leave you so soon, Asriel and Frisk, but I think that my help with this...spaghetteroni is much needed."

"Aw, what about me, Tori?"

Looking up at his ex-wife with hopeful eyes, Toriel rolled her eyes and playfully scoffed.

"Oh, you can survive for thirty minutes or so, Dreemur. I'll be back soon, ok?"

Asgore chuckled heartily and nodded.

"Teasing my old heart, now? But if you insist, then I will wait until the sky turns grey and falls, my love."

Ignoring the sounds of Asriel gagging and Frisk letting out a soft groan, he watched Toriel retreat into the kitchen quickly and silently.

"Heh, Dad and Mom still love each other lots. Hey, Frisk, can I ask you something?"

Looking over to Asriel, Frisk tilted her head questioningly.

"Now that we're all free and I'm back, I want to re-ask you that question I posed over Chara's grave. Why...why did you climb Ebott? Why did you fall down?"

* * *

 **A/N:** Cliffhangers, baby! What sort of dark past hangs over Frisk? Will Papyrus finish his spaghetteroni on time? Will he have an impact on what transpires next (probably this is Bonetrousle anyway geez)? Find out tomorrow, probably!

Thanks again for the support, guys, it's fantastic to know that people like my stuff.

Specific review from **Fairyhaven13:** Sorry man, I'm not too good at pacing. I write as I think as to avoid losing the idea, and try to make that as good as possible. It's only after I finish the chapter (or think there's a good ending point anyway) that I really review it, and then I'm dead tired and don't wanna add anything. Whoops. I hope it gets better, though, as I keep writing chapters for this story as I love to do often.


	8. All the King's Men

Frisk flinched at his innocent question, finding herself to be genuinely out of words.

"I-Is...is this really the right...time...?"

Asriel, looking confused for a moment before realization hit him, let his eyes widen as he looked away shamefully.

"O-Oh, I'm so sorry! Um, was it...really bad? I didn't mean to bring it up, Frisk, I'm sorry."

"BRINGING WHAT UP? IF THEY'RE PUNS, YOU ARE THEN JUSTIFIABLY UPSET!"

Papyrus, head peeked out of the doorway, gave a big grin towards Frisk, who did not return it. After a few seconds of staring at each other, Papyrus slipped into a frown of his own. Taking off his chef's toque and walking over, he sat down to Frisk's right.

"WHAT'S WITH THAT FROWN, FRISK? WAS MY BROTHER'S PUN THAT RANCID? OR...IS IT NOT A PUN THAT IS UPSETTING YOU?"

The girl hesitated, but nodded. Papyrus let out a contemplative 'HMMM' and looked towards the ceiling before turning his head back towards Frisk, a patient smile on his face.

"YOU CAN TELL THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND THE ALSO GREAT ASRIEL ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE. I WILL NOT JUDGE. HE WILL NOT JUDGE. ASGORE AND TUR...TEER...YOUR MOTHER WILL NOT JUDGE."

"Papyrus? Is everything alright out there?"

"IT IS NOT, GOAT MOM. FRISK IS CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING A SADNESS THAT I MUST UNRAVEL!"

Toriel, making her own way out of the kitchen after making sure everything was in check, sat beside Papyrus.

"My child, what's wrong? Whenever you are sad, it makes me sad as well. Please, tell us what ails you. Dreemur, wake up!"

Slapping him on the leg, Asgore woke with a startled yelp, gripping the edges of the green couch tightly.

"W-What's wrong? Did anyone need me for anything?"

"Our daughter has something she needs to share. Something that is making her very uncomfortable."

Concern splashing across his face, Asgore leaned in close to the little group around Frisk.

"Well, we can't have that, can we? Frisk, if you'd please?"

Surrounded by her friends and reassured, Frisk felt a surge of determination in her chest. It was not much, and she knew deep down it certainly wasn't enough to carry her through this entire thing, but they deserved this much. Taking a deep breath, Frisk prepared her story not just for Asriel, but for everyone.

* * *

 _A good girl is...one that stays quiet and does what she's told. Daddy and Mommy told me that. It always made them happy when I didn't cry or yell. Because when I did, they'd get mad.  
_

 _"What, what do you want now?!" Daddy would say. He'd say it in a funny way, and he always smelled like something that made my head fuzzy. I didn't like it. It made him get angry very easily._

 _"I-I...I'm hungry! And I'm cold! You never come home anymore! W-Why don't you-"_

 ** _*SLAP*_**

 _Daddy would only hit me when I was bad and complained a lot. So I was being bad, and I deserved it. But I didn't cry. Crying would make him angrier, so I sat there quiet. Daddy wouldn't like it when I looked into his eyes, so I just closed them.  
_

 _"Damnit, it's always about you, huh?! Daddy is bringing home a paycheck every week, and we're just barely getting by anyway! Don't you fucking get that? No, of course you don't. You're your mother's child after all, irresponsible and mouthy. You think I wanna live in this shithole, poor as fuck? I coulda **been** something, kid."  
_

 _I wanted to tell Daddy that the reason we had no money was because he and Mommy were always going out. But I didn't, because he said he knew better. He thought that Mommy was always spending it on other people. I thought it was nice of Mommy to do that, but Daddy said that the people were bad._

 _..._

 _I don't know a lot about Mommy, but she was always sad. Whenever Mommy would come home, Daddy would start yelling at her about things. Things like who she was seeing or where she was that day. She'd always start crying, and Daddy would stop being mad. He'd start being nice to her, talking in a quiet voice that meant he was dreaming.  
_

 _He'd tell Mommy that one day, he'd win the pot...t-the...jackpot, that's it, and then we'd all be happy. I don't know what that is, but it must be good. He'd tell her not to leave, that'd he never yell at her again.  
_

 _But Daddy was a liar.'We' didn't include me.  
_

* * *

Frisk took a heavy breath, looking around.

Her friends were, understandably, stunned beyond normal description. Toriel and Asgore just stared at her, faces rigid in an expression that told of sadness, empathy and...anger, in Toriel's case. Asriel looked down at the carpet for a second before facing her again, and his face was scrunched up with guilt and shock. It looked as if he was going to cry again, and Frisk didn't want that. Nobody should have to cry.

Looking at Papyrus stung Frisk the most, however. There was no light shining in his face whatsoever. Papyrus' eyes were squeezed shut, and he was ever so slightly shaking. He was, however, the first to speak after a moment. Frisk thought she saw a flickering of orange fire burning in the skeleton's eye socket, but after a second more it was gone.

"...GO ON. PLEASE."

Nodding, Frisk continued.

* * *

 _One day, I woke up to see Daddy and Mommy smiling._

 _"Hey, uh...um..."_

 _"...F-Frisk, darling. Don't you remember our...son's...name?"_

 _I never had a name. And I was their daughter._

 _"Look, whatever. Frisk, we're gonna take you on a trip today, and it's gonna be super fun-tastic, ok kid? Get dressed unless you wanna make Daddy really angry."_

 _I nodded. A trip sounded like fun. Maybe after this trip, Daddy and Mommy would be smiling more at everything.  
_

 _Maybe..._

 _They'd love me. Like I was their child._

 _Behind the door to my little room as I was getting dressed, I heard Mommy crying._

 _"I just...I just wasn't ready for the responsibility, Jerry..."_

 _"Calm your shit, Alice. It'll be over soon. Then it'll just be you and me, and we'll be happy."_

 _I didn't know what they meant. I was just happy that they were going to happy. I heard Mommy's voice again, but I didn't know what she was talking about._

 _She was filled with determination._

 _...I left my room and Daddy immediately scooped me up in his arms. I started laughing, but I closed my mouth. I didn't want Daddy to get mad at me before the trip._

 _I didn't know it wouldn't matter after this._

 _..._...

 _We drove for a long time in Daddy's little car. The sun was setting by the time we got to it. The foot of Mt. Ebott. Daddy told me to get out, so I did. I sat on a bench next to a big sign and waited for them to come out too. I waved to them._

 _"Oh, damnit! Triss, uh, we forgot something back at the house. We'll be right back, ok? Be a good...kid and wait there, alright? Alice, how fast are we gonna pick this thing up before we get our kid back?"_

 _Mommy laughed._

 ** _She laughed at me._**

 _"Faster than..um...q-quickly! I swear, Triss!"_

 _That wasn't my name._

 _Daddy turned the car around and sped away. He drove faster than he did while we were getting there._

 _But I was a good girl. And a good girl did whatever she was told quietly._

 _I sat there for a long time. By the time I looked up, it was already nighttime. I heard crickets all around me and...something growling.  
_

 _I wasn't that dumb, though. It hit me._

 _They left me there._

 ** _They left me there to die alone._**

 _..._

 _So I climbed..._

* * *

Frisk took a shaky breath, fighting back a sob. Just barely, however, and everyone in the room knew that it wouldn't be long until the girl mentally broke down. And everyone dreaded it.

The taciturn, lovable hero of all monsterkind - a victim of monsters herself. Tragic irony, as many would point out.

* * *

 _..._

 _It's said that once you climb Mt. Ebott, you're fated to die._

 _..._

... _..._...

 _Who...was I to disappoint...?_

* * *

Frisk lowered her head into her knees, shaking. What she said next could be barely heard, but carried just as much of an impact.

"I was a good girl...I was a good girl...take me back...I wanted out...I-I... _I couldn't...I'm just so tired..._ "

Sobbing, Frisk felt the silence suffocate her as the shadows closed in. Mentally exhausted and with her barriers torn down, Frisk's reasoning slipped away as she cried louder.

 _i can't do this anymore_

The voices of her mother and father plugged her ears over the others' frantic screams, taunting her. Reaffirming her locked-away terrors. Frisk could see their smiling faces, laughing at her hysteric sobs and gasps for air.

A flash of blue and a familiar grin, however, stopped her train of thought entirely as her consciousness began rapidly slipping. Now in a dark void entirely separated from the world, Frisk smelt what her tired mind could only describe as 'comfort'. Comfort, in any case, from the hellish nightmare her mind was just a few minutes ago.

 **a kid shouldn't have to go through this. go to sleep, frisk, we'll handle everything.**

Curling up into a tiny ball, Frisk did as the voice told her. She was a good girl, after all.

* * *

 **A/N:** Holy shit drama

I promised you guys that eldritch spaghetti gods aren't coming (until next Halloween maybe). So instead, you get mentally unstable and insecure Frisk who keeps a straight face on to hide her personal problems from her friends and family, lest they disown her as well.

Whoops.

A review once described this story as "light-hearted". That...might change? No murder or anything, but Frisk and the skelebros' time travel capabilities are surely going to be brought into question.

Think of the next 1-2 chapters as a sort of drama section I guess. How will Frisk's family react to this maelstrom of tragedy? Will Papyrus do something important (answer: yes)? Is Alphys and Undyne going to stop being barely mentioned characters (answer: also hopefully maybe yes)?

Tune in next time, because things are heating up.


	9. Confrontation

"I AM GOING, SANS, REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE DOORWAY THIS INSTANCE!"

Sans stared down his brother, grin stretched in frustration. It was only ten minutes after Frisk had fallen asleep, during which Papyrus suited up for mysterious reasons he wouldn't share, not even with his brother. While Asgore, Toriel, and Asriel believed that he was going out to buy Frisk a cake or do something silly to cheer her up, Sans' observational skills screamed otherwise.

"goin' where?"

"WELL...I'M...GAH, WHY SHOULD I EVEN BOTHER TELLING YOU! SANS, IF YOU DO NOT MOVE, I WILL BE FORCED...TO...JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND CONTINUE MY JOURNEY ANYWAY!"

Sans closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, smile slipping just slightly. When he reopened them, they were empty, deathly voids. Papyrus, flinching at his brother's cold gaze, stood strong despite his fear.

"you don't wanna do this, bro. think of how this would crush frisk if she knew you...y'know...look, you're not dumb. you're just wearing my patience thin right now."

"SANS, THIS IS JUSTICE! THIS IS PROTECTING THE INNOCENT, THE ABUSED! WHY DON'T YOU GET THIS?! Y-YOU'RE ALWAYS TOO BUSY...SLEEPING! OR MAKING AWFUL PUNS! OR-"

 **"Who are you to say I don't, Papyrus? I see a lot more than you could ever possibly know, so don't gimme that garbage."**

There was a chilling hollowness to Sans' voice as stared right into his brother's SOUL, right eye flaring up in a flashing blue-and-yellow fire. Papyrus' own eyes flared up as well as he took a dangerous step forward, lighting the room with a blazing orange as flames licked his scarf. It seemed as though confrontation was inevitable.

"...SANS, YOU WERE CORRECT IN YOUR EARLIER ASSUMPTION THAT I'M NO FOOL. I'M SORRY FOR SAYING THAT YOU ARE LAZY AND YOUR PUNS ARE STUPID, BUT I STILL WON'T BACK DOWN. GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T DO THIS...

SHE HURT MY _FAMILY_ , BROTHER."

Sans felt frustration and rage drain from his body after hearing Papyrus' pained tone. He was his brother, after all, and he understood Papyrus more than anyone else did. The fire in his eye fizzling out with a hiss, Sans took a step back and threw his hands up, keeping his brother back as he explained.

"paps, you know as well as i do that killing her won't do a damn thing. if anything, frisk'll get crushed if she finds out."

"...KILL HER?"

Blinking, Papyrus coughed into his mitt and stared at his brother, who was currently staring at him with a dumbstruck expression of his own, silently connecting the dots.

"SANS, HAVE YOU GONE LOCO FOR COCOA?! EVEN THOUGH FRISK'S MOTHER IS AN EVIL LADY, I DON'T WANT TO KILL ANYONE! I WAS GOING TO GIVE HER A VERY STERN, EMOTIONAL TALKING TO! I EVEN PACKED TISSUES IN CASE I ACCIDENTALLY MAKE HER CRY. OR I START CRYING. BUT FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOES NOT CRY."

 _only papyrus can say the stupidest of things in the most serious matters,_ Sans mused as he slowly collected himself. Taking out a small hanky and wiping his forehead with it, Sans looked back at his brother.

"that, uh, changes a lot. well, i'll leave you to it then, if it's just talking. i trust you, papyrus."

"THANK YOU, BROTHER. TELL FRISK I'LL BE BACK SOON, OK? IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT MAKES HER FEEL BETTER, IT'S SKELETON HUGS! NYEH HEH!"

Sans chuckled as his brother's antics, stepping to the side as Papyrus strode past him after a quick good-bye. Gently closing the door after his brother's figure disappeared over the horizon, Sans turned around to see Toriel softly running a paw through Frisk's hair. Humming an ancestral lullaby, Sans could tell from her wavering voice that she wouldn't last too long.

"tori," Sans made sure to level his voice to keep himself quiet and dignified. For Toriel or himself, he didn't actually know for certain. "i say this with respect, but i really don't think you'll last too long down here. let me watch frisk, nothing'll happen, not on my watch."

The tension was thick in the room as Sans watched Toriel slowly stand up and stiffly nod. Making her way over to the stairs, Toriel stopped, her reply coming out as a faint whisper.

"Thank you, Sans. I...will be retiring to the guest room."

"yep."

With that, Toriel left the room. Sans, turning his gaze over to Frisk, watched her toss and turn, quietly moaning.

"...damnit kid, how do you always leave me with the worst decisions?"

Bitterly chuckling to himself, the shorter skeleton sat down in an armchair opposite to the couch, mulling over his options. He could go ahead and do... _it_ , but there's the real possibility that it'll look **hella bad.**

Heh, more like hella _rad._

Sans slapped himself on the forehead a bit. Although he'd love for pun time to be all the time, the kid needed his help. Ruffling her hair, Sans was mildly pleased to hear a satisfied noise come out of Frisk. In any case, it was better than those heartbreaking groans and whimpers from before.

"well, we'll get through it. don't worry about it, kid, dunkle sans got it all under control."

 _well,_ Sans mused as he balled his hands several times, feeling powerful magic course through his bones.

 _i hope i do, anyway._

* * *

Papyrus trudged onwards, the sound of leaves crunching under his heavy combat boots. The sun was already setting, and although Papyrus was glad he didn't need to worry about things like hunger or weather, the journey was nevertheless long and boring. Sometimes he even wondered if he was headed in the wrong direction, but all it took was simply reminding himself that he was Papyrus, master of cardinal directions, to fill his determination meter to full.

"HUH," Papyrus looked towards an overflowing trash can, with several smelling bags and flies hanging around it. "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HUMANS ERECTED MONUMENTS IN MY BROTHER'S VISAGE. NYEH HEH HEH HEH! I SHOULD TELL SANS THAT ONE...OH!"

At last, Papyrus gawked as the building came into view. The Hokkaido Shelter for the Homeless, a dingy little building that reeked of grime and alcohol, was standing ominously right in front of him.

Papyrus took in a breath as he strode past several hobos sitting around, who turned to look at him with mild interest. There was no fear in their jaded eyes, Papyrus noted, before he walked up to the reception desk. A bored young woman was idly tapping away on her phone before Papyrus cleared his throat, causing her to look up and jump back as she came face-to-face with a real skeleton.

So that monster thing wasn't a gag...

"UM, HELLO HUMAN. I WISH TO MEET A WOMAN CALLED ALICE. ALICE...SUNG? I COME BEARING IMPORTANT AND GRAVE NEWS. MOSTLY GRAVE."

"...Y-You wouldn't happen to be J-J-Jerry, would you?"

Resisting the urge to grimace in disgust, Papyrus shook his head.

"NO I AM NOT. I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HUMAN, A NOBLE SKELETON."

"...Uh, alright. I was just thinking that, well...Jerry came back from the dead, I dunno. Alice talks about it all the time, saying stuff like 'he's coming back, just you wait' and 'I'll strike it big someday'. It's kinda sad, but more unnerving. Lady is insane. But whatever, you wanna meet her, fine. She's out in the backyard, that door over there."

Grimly nodding, Papyrus followed her directions and pushed open the door.

The backyard, it seemed, wasn't quite better than the front yard. Discarded cigarette butts littered the concrete and grass, which was overgrown anyway. Trash was piled into a corner on the far right, left to fester and rot inside torn bags. And in the middle of the yard looked to be an old woman, skin sagging and brown hair frazzled and caked with grime.

"Come to torment me again, wretched judge? Have you not feasted upon my sins enough for one day...? Leave a broken woman to her broken life."

"I AM NO JUDGE, HUMAN. THAT IS NOT MY STATION, BUT YET HERE I AM."

Looking up in surprise, Alice stared at the tall, armored skeleton before her, letting out a hollow rattle of a laugh once the weight of the situation sank in.

"Death has finally come for this old crone, hmm?"

"DEATH? NO, I AM NOT DEATH. MY NAME IS PAPYRUS, AND I BRING NOT SILENCE, BUT NEWS."

"News...? What news could you, who don't even know me, bring to the table?"

"NEWS OF YOUR DAUGHTER, FRISK SUNG. SOUND FAMILIAR, **ALICE?** HMM, I SUPPOSE THAT'S A USELESS QUESTION. YOU DON'T."

Alice suddenly lurched forward into a coughing fit, taking a minute to compose herself before whipping her head around and looking at Papyrus with a peculiar expression mixed between shock and rage. Shakily getting up, Alice pointed a gnarled finger at him.

"W-What do you know?! TELL ME!"

"WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT, HUM- NO, NO, THAT'D BE WRONG. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T TELL WHAT MONSTER YOU ARE."

"Don't dodge my question, you prick! **Where is she?!** "

"OH, YOU REMEMBERED THAT FRISK WAS A 'SHE'? WELL DONE, ALICE, SIMPLY REMARKABLE. A MARGINAL IMPROVEMENT FROM TWO YEARS AGO. OR WAS THAT JUST A LUCKY GUESS? HELL IF I KNOW."

The scathing malice laced within Papyrus' tone was evident in even himself, and Papyrus was scared of his bubbling rage and disgust towards the woman. It was not as if she could hurt him.

But she hurt someone else. Someone close to him, someone he'd gladly give his life for besides his brother. And maybe for that reason, he'd let this happen. Just this once.

"You think you're some kind of...some kind of _**god**_ for taking in a child? _MY_ child? This is kidnapping."

A twisted grin set itself on Alice's face.

"This is kidnapping, and it's illegal. She is my child, and I will be getting her back even if it means using every rotted, sinful bone in my body to track her down and drag her **kicking and screaming back**. **I've already lost everything, what more is there to lose at this point?! You monsters are nothing more than a mere obstacle in my way! You think I'm scared of you?!"**

Maniacally cackling, Alice lurched forward and collapsed onto the grass as it devolved into another coughing fit, and Papyrus couldn't help but feel pity towards the demented woman. The coughing stopped, and Alice sat back up, letting out giggles.

"WELL, AT THIS POINT THERE TRULY IS NOTHING TO GAIN FROM WINNING, IS THERE? YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU TRULY HAVE LOST EVERYTHING, AND FOR THAT I PITY YOU. I SEE IT NOW CLEARLY.

I TRUTHFULLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE. TO BREAK YOU BY TALKING? PERHAPS. BUT IT SEEMS YOU'VE ALREADY DONE THAT YOURSELF. I HOPE YOU WERE HAPPY DURING THOSE TWO YEARS, ALICE."

Alice's face slowly twisted into one of indescribable rage. How dare this stranger, this monster barge into her personal space, tell her that he has her...what the hell Frisk was, and then _taunt her?_

"BECAUSE FOR AS MANY YEARS AS I STAND, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL MAKE SURE THAT A SMILE GRACES THAT CHILD'S LIPS EVERY DAY. THAT IS A PROMISE I CAN MAKE WITH ONLY THE MOST UTMOST OF CERTAINTY."

Closing his eye-sockets, Papyrus ignored Alice's frantic screams and channeled all his energy into something special. He had always heard of his brother's 'shortcuts', and eventually figured out that it was all magic into one enclosed space.

Well, why not? Papyrus _did_ read his brother's notes, and if the coordinates were correct...

In a brief flicker of light, Papyrus was gone, leaving a dumbstruck and enraged Alice to stare at air. With no outlet for her anger in sight, Alice turned to an increasingly common activity.

Breaking everything and anything in the vicinity. And the screaming had only just begun.

* * *

The void wasn't nearly as empty as he thought it'd be. Mainly due to all the friendly skeletal dragon head...things that floated around, nuzzling Papyrus and letting out confused yet intrigued barks.

"YOU ARE THE CREATURES THAT MY BROTHER SUMMONS, HUH? NEATO. WELL, I SEE MY DESTINATION COMING, PERHAPS I'LL LEARN TO SUMMON YOU GUYS SO WE CAN GO ON WALKS!"

Waving, Papyrus started dropping at a quick rate until he felt his feet slam onto solid ground, making him stumble for a bit. It was late night now, longer than Papyrus had intended.

"TODAY WAS...NOT PLEASANT. HOPEFULLY, MAKING AN AWESOME SPAGHETTI DINNER WILL IMPROVE MY MOOD SUBSTANTIALLY! I WONDER IF FRISK WOULD LIKE ANYTHING SPECIAL TONIGHT...EVEN IF IT'S NOT PASTA...THE LINE STANDS AT GRILLBY'S, THOUGH."

Letting out a soft 'nyeh heh', Papyrus unlocked the door to find his brother in the most oddest of positions.

Currently cradling a now awake Frisk in his arms, Sans was pinching her chubby little cheek with one hand as she giggled in delight. Whispering some kind of joke in her ear, Frisk broke out into harder laughter which eventually spread to Sans.

"...SANS?"

Sans immediately stopped everything and went silent with a jolt, which shook even Frisk. Slowly turning his gaze towards Papyrus, the taller skeleton noted that his smile hadn't changed at all.

It was just that his pupils completely disappeared. Again.

"oh. hey."

"HELLO, BROTHER AND FRISK. I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE FUN OF YOU TWO. IF ANYTHING..."

Papyrus swan-dived onto the couch, making sure to do at least one flip as to not disappoint Undyne, and brought both of them into his arms, hugging them close to his chestplate.

"I'M OVERJOYED! SANS, NOT ONLY HAVE YOU MADE FRISK SMILE AGAIN, BUT YOU'RE OPENING UP! YOU NEVER DO THAT! WELL, SOMETIMES, BUT NOT OFTEN! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!"

"now that makes me feel kinda guilty."

Patting Sans on the side of the head, Frisk gave a reassuring smile. Sans returned it, although she could tell this one was a genuine smile.

"thanks kid. good to know my two hours of not sleeping and playing with ya paid off. but you remember what i said, right?"

Frisk nodded, and Papyrus set them both down onto the couch to go and quickly change into something that wasn't plate mail. He conveniently stayed close, however, to listen in on the pearl of wisdom his brother had dropped.

"we're a family. nobody gets left behind, nobody gets forgotten. heh, we're all real lucky to have ya, kid, so don't you ever go say you're not useful or that we're better off without you again, ok? you scared me. and it ain't easy to do that."

Frisk was feeling unwanted and useless.

Oh no.

 **Not on The Great Papyrus' watch.**

Quickly thinking, Papyrus slinked into the kitchen to cook up master tasks that he needed help with. Snickering, he came up with a grand total of one. In hindsight, it wasn't that impressive, and Papyrus stopped snickering quickly, but it was the thought that counted.

"OH NO! I SEEM TO HAVE A PERPLEXING ISSUE THAT MUST BE SOLVED BY SOMEONE THAT IS NOT ME! OR SANS!"

Running out of the kitchen in a dramatic fashion, Papyrus stood in front of an amused Sans and an equally amused Frisk. The drawstrings on his sweatpants hung lazily undone, and blew in the breeze

"I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO TIE A KNOT! THE TRAVESTY! THE HEARTACHE! HOW COULD I BE SUCH A FOOLISH FOOL? WHOEVER COULD HELP ME IN MY TIME OF NEED?!"

Snorting, Sans threw his hands up and subtly winked at his brother.

"aw geez paps, always bringin' your problems back home."

Frisk hopped off the couch and pulled a valiant pose, oozing determination.

"GASP! FRISK, DO YOU...KNOW HOW TO KNOT?!"

Nodding vigorously, Frisk began to tie the drawstrings together at a fast rate.

"AMAZING! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL! FRISK, YOU'RE SO SMART AND EXTREMELY CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF! COULD YOU BE A POTENTIAL RIVAL TO MY GREATNESS?!"

Finished, Frisk looked proudly up at Papyrus, who smiled back.

"...I get it. Thank you two so much...um...hug?"

Caught off guard by the sincerity of her question, Papyrus pretended to mull it over.

"WELL THEN...IF MY COOL FRIEND WAS THE ONE ASKING, THEN HOW COULD I SAY NO? COME HERE!"

Bending down, Papyrus wrapped his arms under Frisk's armpits and brought her close to his chest, his two t-shirts making sure his ribs didn't scrape her.

"don't mind me crashin' the party."

Sans wrapped his arms around his brother's waist, which Papyrus happily reciprocated.

"WOWIE...I FEEL LOVED! FRISK, I HOPE YOU'RE ABSORBING SOME OF THIS LOVE LIKE A RADICAL AND TOTALLY USEFUL SPONGE, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT!"

Sans chuckled, overwhelmed at the innocent confidence radiating off the two.

"i have a feeling this'll only get better. so stick around for a while, will ya? favorite, follow, whatever floats your boat. author is too dense of a guy to ask anyway."

Winking towards...something, Papyrus and Frisk stared at him with odd expressions.

"SANS, ARE YOU TALKING TO THE 'AUDIENCE' AGAIN? EVEN WHEN THERE IS NOBODY HERE EXCEPT US?"

"maybe."

"YOU'RE WEIRD. TODAY IS WEIRD. LET'S MAKE SPAGHETTI."

"ok."

* * *

 **A/N:** It was a pretty weird day, wasn't it?

I swear, I'll make a long arc some time!

 _not likely though, you're kinda shabby when it comes to elaboration_

NO STOP EVERYONE DOES THIS NO

...

I read the reviews, and I gotta say, you guys are pretty cool for all the support you've given me. As always, I'll look forward to your reactions, advice, maybe even suggestions, the future is weird.

 _not for me_

 **STOP JUST WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER BYE**


	10. The Player

_wake up_

no

 _reset_

no

 _RESET_

 **no**

 _get knife_

stop it

 _kill asriel_

 **stop it  
**

...

 ** _since when were you the one in control?_**

Frisk woke up screaming, a vision of her friends, her family dying right in front of her. Tears streamed down her face as she heard the voice again, nagging her to go and actually do it for 'everyone watching'. They were bored, they wanted to 'replay the game' and find out all the 'endings'.

They sounded so much like Flowey it hurt.

"Frisk?! Frisk, answer me!"

Snapping back into reality, Frisk turned around to find Asriel tightly gripping her shoulders. Even in the dark and through her own tears, she could see Asriel's own eyes glisten with concern.

"Frisk, are you ok?! Y-You woke up all of a sudden screaming for something to go away, and I'm r-really worried! You're crying, Frisk, what's wrong?!"

She said nothing as she threw herself into him, sobbing into his shoulder. Asriel held onto her as he felt anger burn in his chest. What had she ever done to deserve this? Frisk seemed to be a magnet for trouble nowadays, and it broke his heart to see the girl he now calls his little sister...broken like this.

"Frisk," Asriel began softly, moving a hand up to gently stroke her hair. "I'm gonna bring you over to Mom and Dad, and we'll deal with this together. Shhh, don't worry, nothing bad will happen. I promise you, Frisk."

Picking her up with a slight grunt, Asriel cradled her in his arms before pushing open the door with his foot and walking towards their parent's large bedroom. Frisk, despondent, did not say a word.

* * *

 _ **"since when were you the one in control?"**  
_

Sans woke up with a startled gasp, feeling sweat pour down his skull. Looking around, he noticed that he wasn't dead by the kid's knife and the room was illuminated by a blue glow. Covering his right eye-socket and willing his anxiety to be buried, Sans got up and turned on his computer.

"if this is what i think it is...kid, what is it with you and hijacking our lives, huh?"

Grimly chuckling, Sans brought up numerous spreadsheets and documents on the screen, cluttering it with vast amounts of scientific theorems and notes across space and time.

"let's see here...flowey, no...chara? a possibility. hmm...wait, what do we have here, huh?"

Pulling up a document labeled 'theplayer', Sans was met with images of a blurry, thin figure sitting in front of a multi-screen console. There were only three words in the entire document.

 **NEEDS MORE INVESTIGATION**

Sans wiped his forehead. What do they call this trope, 'Giant Space Flea From Nowhere'? Yeah, that's right.

"the player...? what sorta stuff did you get into, other sans?"

"SANS! STOP MUTTERING AT FIVE IN THE MORNING!" A muffled voice called from behind his door. " **SOME** OF US ARE TRYING TO GET SOME BEAUTY SLEEP!"

"sorry bro, just some stuff came up with the kid and-"

"WHAAAAAT?!"

Before Sans could protest, a familiar tall skeleton busted through his door, concern and interest on his face. Already in his battle body, the shorter skeleton mused.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH FRISK? IS SHE HURT? OR ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASRIEL, IN WHICH CASE THE QUESTION WOULD BE 'IS HE HURT?'. YOU MUST TELL ME, BROTHER!"

"nah, it's ok, your bro sans got it all under lock."

"SANS, YOU ARE SWEATING AS THOUGH YOU ARE A BIG LIAR. PLEASE DON'T BE A BIG LIAR, I WANT TO HELP!"

Damnit, since when was he so perceptive?

"...fine. if i'm right about this, the kid is in big trouble. although i'd gladly say 'go to the kid and make her feel better', i'm pretty sure tori and asgore got that under control."

"THEN WHAT CAN I DO?"

"this is gonna be real risky, but from what i can decipher from these notes here is some dimensional coordinates. since you're stronger than me, you should go investigate and find someone called 'the player'."

"THE PLAYER...? WHAT DOES HE PLAY, PUZZLE GAMES? IN THAT CASE I'D-"

"he plays with frisk's mind, that's what he plays with. these notes tell me that he's one creepy dude, sayin' stuff like 'kill your friends'. apparently over in that little dimensional pocket, frisk is a character in a game that he controls and broadcasts to other players. weird, huh?"

Papyrus said nothing as the information sank in. Sans wiped away more sweat, wondering if he broke his brother.

"I'M...I...NOPE, NEVERMIND, INCREDIBLY FURIOUS. SANS, GIVE ME THE LOCATION."

"you're taking this real well, are you sure that-"

 **"GIVE ME THE COORDINATES, SANS."**

There was a certain finality in his voice that made Sans falter. When did Papyrus have this much power? Power stronger than his? Was it that he didn't see the potential in his own brother? Well no, that makes him sound like a jerk. Of course Papyrus had it, his caring personality just locked it away.

The lock, he noted, was getting pretty thin nowadays.

"...sure, i'll write it down for ya."

Sans hastily scribbled numbers down onto the paper and handed it to his brother, who squinted to look at it.

"alright then, you know how to teleport now, right?"

"I'VE BEEN PRACTICING! NOT FOR A SITUATION LIKE THIS, OF COURSE, BUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS MUST BE READY TO TACKLE ANY AND EVERY SITUATION!"

Nodding, Sans turned off his computer before trudging back over to his bed.

"hey, bro? i'm real proud of you. you...really grew up, huh? i didn't notice 'till just now but...uh...yeah."

His eyes cracked open as he felt himself lifted into the air and into his brother's arms. Grinning, Sans pat his brother on the breastplate.

"c'mon, don't hang around here too long, you got a certain frisk to save."

Setting Sans down, Papyrus channeled his magic for a second before phasing out of the room. Sans stared at the spot for another second before collapsing onto his bed, already tired from the exertion.

"if anyone can do it it's you, paps."

* * *

"SO THESE ARE OTHER DIMENSIONS, HUH? SANS WOULD LOVE THIS..."

Papyrus gazed in wonder at the floating bubbles around him, each with a different scene playing out inside their murky depths. He saw a weird little kid in a green-and-yellow stripe shirt holding a knife and giggling, Frisk with Toriel in the Ruins baking pies, Sans with a glowing eye...fighting Frisk?

"AGH, I'M GETTING DISTRACTED! I'LL LOOK INTO THIS LATER. BUT FOR NOW, I SHOULD BE...HMM...JUST A LITTLE FURTHER."

Pushing past a few bubbles, Papyrus was suddenly met with a large, golden door. Strange symbols lined the entire thing, and it seemed to hum with energy.

"WELL, I SUPPOSE THIS IS MY DESTINATION. PREPARE TO MEET MONSTER JUSTICE, FIEND! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Papyrus threw open the door, cape flowing in the breeze.

* * *

Frisk gasped as she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head.

"Are you alright, my child? Is it...the voice again?"

She shook her head.

"This...this worries me. Asgore, call Dr. Alphys. She should know how to deal with this better than we could."

Nodding, Asgore stomped out of the room (but just quietly enough as to not aggravate Frisk) to find the phone. Toriel brought Asriel and Frisk close to her, sighing. Despair crept into her voice as she looked up towards the ceiling.

"Oh, my child...why have the gods chosen you to punish?"

* * *

"That's it for this stream guys, I'll try to see what's causing these weird bugs, hit that follow but...w-what are you doing here?! This...how did you get here?!"

"THOSE QUESTIONS AREN'T IMPORTANT...HUMAN."

Papyrus managed to keep his surprise in check as he stared at the rather underwhelming human in front of a massive multi-screened computer. On one screen, Papyrus saw a crying Frisk being comforted by Toriel and Asriel. On another, he saw what looked to be a chatroom filled with thousands of people, all exclaiming things, explicit and otherwise, in surprise.

"L-Look, you shouldn't be here. I-I-I'm streaming right now, you can't be here and there at once, you, h-heh, silly skeleton! So...go back and start a cutscene or something!"

Nervously laughing at Papyrus, the taller skeleton merely grimaced as the human's laughs died out. Who did he think he was, playing with their lives like some sick god?

"SINCE WHEN WERE YOU THE ONE IN CONTROL?"

Papyrus slammed a bone to the wall, barely missing the human's face. The human shrieked and fell out of his chair, crawling under his desk and into a corner.

"W-W-What the hell is wrong w-with you?!"

"I'M ENDING THIS."

Papyrus formed walls of bones around the human in an improvised cage, using blue magic to pull him out of his corner and over his shoulder.

"W-What are you doing? D-Don't be hasty here Papyrus, I-"

"THERE'S NO NEED FOR HASTE. WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DO HERE, HUMAN, CAN BE EXPERIENCED FOR AS LONG AS I WISH. YOU WILL BE WATCHING, OF COURSE. AFTER ALL, 'THEY' ARE TOO."

A bone materialized and slammed into one of the screens, shattering it and piercing right through the monitor with a sickening hiss. The chatroom exploded into fear or disbelief as the concept of retribution became real to the multitude of other Players, and suddenly the viewer count started dipping incredibly quickly.

"Y-You - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

The human screamed as he banged against the bone cage in a futile effort to stop Papyrus. What would he do without his favorite game? What about the secrets that were _meant_ for him to find? For _Frisk_ to find?

A second bone phased in and smashed the screen hosting the chatroom. The broadcast went dead, and the image of Frisk, Toriel and Asriel faded away with static.

"NOW FOR THE FINISHING TOUCH."

A third and final bone swiped diagonally, cleanly cutting through the entire system with a small explosion. Molten bits of metal were scattered everywhere, marking the death of the Player's role in their life.

Ignoring the human's screams, he undid the bone cage and heard the man drop to the ground with a heavy thud. Walking towards the door, Papyrus quickly turned around and snapped his finger.

A bone materialized and smashed itself into the player's groin at high speeds.

"I SAW THAT IN ONE OF SANS' COMIC BOOKS. I DON'T KNOW WHY IT HURTS YOU HUMANS SO MUCH, BUT IT'LL DO. PLEASE REMEMBER THE LESSON I TAUGHT YOU!"

Papyrus teleported out as the human began to let out a very girly scream.

* * *

Something feels different.

Sans looked around. Whatever Papyrus did seemed to resolve _something_ , as the air around him felt inexplicably lighter. Hearing the sounds of birds tweeting, Sans slowly opened the shades to reveal bright sunlight. A good night's rest, how about that?

 _*Bzzzz, bzzzzzz, bzzzzzzzzzzzzz-*_

"yeah, who's callin'?"

 _"It is me, Toriel. As much as I would love to exchange puns at the moment, I would like to let you know of an incident that happened earlier this morning with Frisk."_

 _just as i thought,_ Sans grumbled to himself. _let's see if my other self's notes were right._

"gimme the details, tori. i'd love to say hi, but...you know how it is when it comes to the kid. me 'n paps love her to death, heh."

 _"According to Asriel, poor Frisk woke up screaming, saying she heard voices urging to do terrible things. They seem to be gone now, though, and Frisk fell into deep sleep a few minutes ago."_

"poor kid. well, that seals it. we're comin' over there to provide some laughs, no buts."

 _"I expected nothing less from you two. Sans, before I hang up, I'd like to ask you one thing."_

Toriel couldn't see Sans raising an eyebrow in interest and suspicion.

"yeah sure, tori. what's up?"

 _"I know you two are capable of dimensional shenanigans like Frisk is. Did...you two do anything in this situation that I am not aware of yet?"_

Uh-oh.

"hey tori, i'm goin' through a tunnel, gotta call you back in like an hour."

 _"A tunn- Sans, it is 8 in the morning, there is no feasible way you are in a tunnel right now! Normally you're far too tired to even change your clothes!"_

Sans picked up a piece of paper and began crumpling it in his bony hand, grin wide.

"agh - tori i - tell my kids -"

Sans then hung up and kicked his feet up, chuckling.

"i _should_ tell her...but not right now. i'm far too tired, heh."

* * *

 **A/N:** A friend at work told me to write something incredibly meta that has to do with Undertale. While I still don't exactly grasp the meaning of that term, I tried anyway. I know, a million stories out there on the concept of 'frisk breaking away from player controls/chara', sorry. I'll get a normal chapter up soon.

...There is no set normal. Whoops. Guess you'll just have to enjoy stupid moments like this then, nyeh heh.


	11. A Taste of Adventure

"WE MEET AGAIN, PEEK-A-BOO WITH FLUFFY BUNNY."

Papyrus glared menacingly at the children's pop-up book. Bracing himself, Papyrus shakily opened the first page.

"ALRIGHT THEN, PAPYRUS, SMOOTH SAILING SO FAR. IF YOU CAN DEFEAT DIMENSIONAL BULLIES AND FRISK'S DEMON MOTHER, THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T **AUUUUGHTWFIJFDAD** "

Papyrus jumped out of his seat as his phone started blaring a cheesy action movie theme song he found on the Internet. Shakily getting up and looking around to make sure that nobody was watching, Papyrus dusted his shirt off and picked up the phone.

"THIS IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS' PHONE, THE GREAT PAPYRUS SPEAKING."

 _"Hey...hey what color panties are you wearing? HAHAHA-"_

Pan...ties? Papyrus thought about this for a moment. Decorations for his beloved frying pan definitely did exist, but they weren't brought out unless it was for a special occasion. It added valued flair that added to a chef's ability, after all. You can't just wear the same pantie every day, all day.

"USUALLY I KEEP IT BARE, BUT DURING PARTIES I LIKE A NICE BLUE AND PURPLE RIBBON. IT REMINDS ME OF MY COOL FRIEND!"

 _"...Wait, what?"_

"WELL YOU DID JUST ASK ME WHAT PAN-"

 _*click*_

Huh. He hung up. Shrugging, Papyrus stared towards Peek-a-Boo with Fluffy Bunny before grabbing a stick and poking the cursed thing close. Thank _god_ Frisk has a great present sense, because he definitely wasn't touching that thing again. A jump-scare is a jump-scare, fluffy bunny or not.

"WELL, NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF MY LIFE FOR A NEGLIGIBLE AMOUNT OF TIME...WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT."

Bursting out of his room, Papyrus ran down the hall to his brother's room, slamming on the door.

"SANS! SANS, WAKE UP! IT IS ALREADY MORNING AND YOU **PROMISED** ME YOU'D TRY TO WAKE UP AT A TIME THAT IS NOT PAST TWELVE!"

Hearing muffled shuffling and groaning from behind the door, Papyrus smirked and stepped back as Sans slowly pushed the door open.

"'m up...wha' you need..."

"NOTHING! I JUST NEEDED TO WAKE YOU UP SO YOU CAN HAVE A BRIGHT AND PRODUCTIVE DAY WORKING AT YOUR HOT DOG CART! HOPEFULLY. PLEASE ACTUALLY WORK TODAY."

Sans stared at his brother, slowly blinked, and closed the door with a soft click.

"...SANS! SANS YOU WILL OPEN THIS...THIS...GAH, FORGET IT! I WILL HAVE TONS OF FUN BY MYSELF TODAY!"

Getting no response, Papyrus huffily turned around and walked away, staring out the window. He could totally manage a whole day by himself, anyway. Visit Frisk, maybe work out with Undyne, investigate the strange interdimensional rift closed off by the police...

...

Wait. Interdimensional rift closed off by the police? Not only does this confirm the day's actions, he could also bring along Sans! Whether he actually wanted to leave or not was unimportant.

Taking a deep breath, Papyrus ran towards his brother's door and knocked it down with a flying kick, earning a shriek from the shorter skeleton as he jumped off of his bed.

"SANS, YOU MUST INVESTIGATE THIS DIMENSIONAL HOLE THING WITH ME **ASAP!** AND BY ASAP, I MEAN RIGHT NOW!"

"dimensionawhat?"

Papyrus let out a groan as though this was common knowledge.

"YES, BROTHER, IT SEEMS THE FABRIC OF SPACE HAS ONCE AGAIN TORN OPEN TO REVEAL ANOTHER WORLD. AS IT IS PRONE TO DO NOWADAYS WITH DISTURBING FREQUENCY. AS I SAID, WE SHOULD INVESTIGATE IT TO FIND THAT NO TROUBLE COMES TO OUR WORLD!"

"...that is kinda interesting, actually. m'kay, lemme go get dressed. pack some 'ghetti or somethin', paps, we may need some cool dude's snacks if we get hungry."

"OH, GOOD IDEA! THANK YOU, BROTHER, I PROMISE I'LL LET YOU SLEEP IN TOMORROW!"

Sans chuckled as he watched Papyrus run out the room and attempt to slide down the handrail, hearing several crashes and a distressed 'NYEH' coming from the bottom floor. Clumsily grabbing for his phone, he called up a certain friend of his.

"hey, fartmaster. you know how i promised you that one day we'd go on a magical adventure across space and time? oh yeah, and that time you got pranked? that was great."

Sans could almost hear the puffing of cheeks from across the line, causing him to hold back giggles.

"check this out, kid; there's a dimensional portal thingy that paps and i are gonna check out. are you in or are you...i was gonna say square, but that wouldn't make sense. squin? nah, that don't work. look, just meet us outside the ol' house if you want by like...ten minutes from now."

Sans reclined back into the air, using blue magic to suspend himself up in the air. He would've fallen asleep there if Frisk hadn't crackled back a reply.

 _"...I'll try. I wanna go."_

"cool. see ya in a bit, then."

Sans hung up and shoved his phone into his pocket. Grabbing his familiar blue parka and slapping it on, Sans trudged out of the room.

Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

"MY TWO DEAREST COMRADES. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT LIES BEYOND THIS PORTAL. A LAND OF MAGICAL WONDER? PERHAPS. DEATH AND DESTRUCTION? HOPEFULLY NOT. AN ADVENTURE? HECK YEAH. THIS IS A MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH, BY THE WAY. ARE YOU MOTIVATED?!"

Sans, stifling a yawn, nodded. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Frisk give Papyrus a thumbs up.

Papyrus had talked for hours in the living room, trying to 'raise their spirits for the journey ahead'. To do this, he incorporated things such as PowerPoint presentations, illustrations and even a sock puppet show of a potential battle against an alien.

"pap, let's go and do this thing while i still got determination pourin' out of every bone in my body, heh."

"GOOD POINT, BROTHER! ON THE TOPIC OF DETERMINATION..."

Rolling his eyes, Sans took a glance at Frisk, who was currently sweating profusely.

"what's wrong, kid?" Sans whispered, nudging her. "ya look like you seen a ghost. i can assure you, if napstablook wanted to come, he woulda asked, hehehe-"

Frisk nudged Sans back urgently and pointed towards the window. Looking out, Sans started sweating as he realized what made Frisk so nervous.

The portal just finished closing, and with a flash of light it was gone. The crowd of people slowly dispersed, murmuring to themselves about the strange happenings in the past couple of years.

"...oh. ohhhhhhhh-"

"WHAT ARE YOU 'OH'ING ABOUT, BROTHER! DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVE GAS AGAIN, BECAUSE SO HELP ME GOD-"

"oh no no, i don't got the farts bro. it's just that, uh, i was just wonderin' how you'd close the portal to save the world."

Papyrus scoffed and put a hand on his breastplate, expression smug.

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? I WOULD CONDENSE MY AWESOMENESS INTO PURE ENERGY, AND FIRE IT AT THE FREAKY DIMENSION PORTAL **WITH MY MIND!** "

Papyrus let out a deep cackle, but stopped as soon as he heard Sans yawning.

"why don'tcha give us a live demonstration then, cool dude?"

"FINE THEN SANS, I AM TOTALLY GOING TO IMPRESS YOU AND FRISK RIGHT NOW! GET READY!"

Papyrus shut his eyes and tensed his entire body, letting out a high-pitched squeal of effort as he focused all his willpower into his mind. Nudging Frisk, Sans winked.

"oh, oh god. oh my god papyrus, you did it!"

The taller skeleton's eyes shot open in surprise.

"I WHAT?"

Frisk jumped up from the couch and into Papyrus chest, causing the taller skeleton to fumble with her before holding her to his bony chest.

"You did it, Pappy...everyone is saved...!"

Running over to the window and looking out to see the portal gone, Papyrus started cackling before twirling a giggling Frisk around in his arms. Sans yelped in surprise as Papyrus picked him up with a free arm and hugged him close as well.

"WOWIE, I REALLY DID! BUT I COULDN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOUR HELP, FRISK, SANS! YOUR PRESENCES GAVE ME THE HEROIC WILLPOWER AND SEXY BRAIN MUSCLES TO PULL IT OFF! I'LL MAKE SPECIAL PASTA TONIGHT FOR MY TWO GREATEST ALLIES!"

"yeah yeah, you're welcome. hey, pap, i've been meaning to say this all day."

"SANS I AM STOPPING YOU HERE."

"i think that on the side of the 'ghetti, for some flair, we should add some-"

"NO SANS, I HAVE LITERALLY SAID THAT I AM CUTTING YOU OFF A SECOND AGO, YOU WILL NOT RUIN TODAY WITH A TERRIBLE PUN!"

"just some honey, man."

"...WHAT? HONEY? IS THIS SOME SORT OF FANCY INGREDIENT THAT ONLY HIGH-TIER CHEFS USE? MAYBE FOR IT'S DECADENT SWEETNESS?"

"you look a little **bee-** mused at my suggestion. did...did you not know this?"

...

Papyrus set Frisk down and patted her on the head before screaming, grabbing onto Sans with both hands and hurling him out the window, hearing him sail out with a whimsical 'wheeeee'.

 **"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!"**

Frisk, stomach growling, decided to dig through the backpack and pull out a still fresh, foil wrapped spaghetti loaf. Unwrapping it and taking a large bite, she comfortingly patted the still-screaming Papyrus on the leg as she silently chewed.

* * *

 **A/N:** That's the waaaaaay it goes.

Truth be told, I don't really have anything to write here. This chapter was originally going to be the start of an arc, but it fleshed out to be way too edgy and really unoriginal. So I scrapped it. Sorry guys, I'm a bad writer, send help in the form of spaghetti dollars

Next chapter, maybe Jerry! Not that one, the other one that everyone hates. Wait, that's still pretty general. Oh.

ohhhhh... **...** _..._


	12. Minisode 1: Training

Papyrus cackled as he threw another armada of magical bones at Frisk, who deftly dodged and weaved past all of them with her small body. As per usual, Frisk did not attack back, but nod at Papyrus.

"I SEE YOU ARE SPRY AS ALWAYS, FRISK! THAT'S GREAT! BUT CAN YOUR COMPASSION MATCH THE GREAT PAPYRUS' **SUPER-IMPROVED MEGA ATTACK?!** "

Frisk, playing along, gasped dramatically. Hiding her smile, Frisk made a show of shaking her head in wide sweeping motions.

"WELL IF YOU'RE THAT SCARED, I COULD NEVER HURT YOU...WAIT, THIS IS TRAINING! IT'S NOT GOING TO HURT YOU AT ALL, I SWEAR! AND IF IT DOES, I'LL RECALL IT AND GIVE IT A STERN TALKING TO, OK?"

Seeing Frisk give a thumbs-up, Papyrus closed his eyes and concentrated his energy. Ever since his encounter with the Player, Sans and Undyne recommended training for him to become the 'strongest monster ever in the galaxy', a title which Papyrus wholeheartedly wanted and agreed to. Learning to creatively channel his magic into new attacks, he quickly grew past his brother's level of skill and even Undyne's brute strength, utilizing a unique blend of mind-games and magic to beat opponents.

"GET READY, FRISK...FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SHOW YOU WHAT THE HUMANS REFER TO AS...THE **BONE ZONE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!** "

A deep rumbling soon shook the training area, and Frisk had no time to laugh at Papyrus' statement as bones starting shooting out of the ground around him. Long, sharp and humming with an unknown power, the bones snapped together to form a skeletal beast with sharpened claws, three thick necks and long, tattered wings. Dramatically swiping a hand to the side, Papyrus' eyes glowed a brilliant orange as three Gaster Blasters were summoned in as heads.

 **"THIS IS MY ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE, FRISK! THE BONE HYD** **R** WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!"

Papyrus' jaw literally dropped to the ground as he turned to look at the Bone Hydra. Slowly bending down to pick it up, Papyrus and the hydra stared at each other for a good while.

Each Gaster Blaster had large, bulging eyes in the place of it's normal sockets, reminding Frisk of times when Sans had said a particularly bad pun and Papyrus lividly spun around. She was too busy crying from laughter to elaborate on her thoughts, however. If only Sans was around to see this.

"WHY DON'T YOU LOOK SUPER COOL LIKE MY BROTHER'S?! THE BIG GOOGLY EYES MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A BONY IGUANA!"

The Bone Hydra whimpered, feelings sufficiently hurt.

"OH NO! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT YOU WEREN'T COOL, YOU ARE, BUT THE EYES TOTALLY DON'T LOOK MENACING! YOU'RE A BIG SCARY DRAGON, THINK SCARY!"

The hydra took a moment to consider it's master's words, and soon produced a thick set of slanted eyebrows for each head, making it appear as though it was angry. Papyrus squealed and clapped, while Frisk, who just finished laughing, burst into a fit of giggling/crying and fell back onto the ground.

"OH, I LOVE IT! THE BURNING EMOTION IN YOUR EYES, YOUR RUGGEDLY STRONG PHYSIQUE, THE FACT THAT YOU ARE MADE OUT OF **BONES!** WHILE I DID NOT GET THE CHANCE TO USE YOU NOW, I _DEFINITELY_ WILL LATER! REST FOR NOW, MY CREATION!"

Papyrus lovingly patted the dragon on the chest, hearing it snort in pride. De-summoning it, Papyrus dreamily sighed before turning back to Frisk, who had stopped laughing and was simply lying on the ground, panting for breath.

"A-HA, I SEE THAT THE MAJESTY OF MY BONE HYRDA HAD KNOCKED THE WIND RIGHT OUT OF YOU! DON'T WORRY FRISK, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO HELP YOU OUT! EVEN WHEN I'M NOT ACTUALLY THERE!"

Papyrus lovingly scooped Frisk up into his arms, gently poking her in the stomach to elicit some giggles.

"WELL, WE CAN SERIOUSLY TRAIN LATER! I DO THAT ALL ON MY OWN ANYWAY, NYEH HEH!"

* * *

 **A/N:** First minisode! Just a little drabble I thought up while working, thought it'd be good to squeeze it out before I forget to write at all since Thanksgiving is coming up reaaaaal soon.

This has little to no impact on the plot, but Bone Hydra might appear in later chapters if you guys want. She's a big softie, but wants to be a scary dragon to please Papyrus. She may or may not shoot energy beams that reminds you of pasta strands.


	13. The Great Matchmaker, Papyrus

"Oh, it's you. Skeleton from Snowdin. How...do you do?"

Papyrus grinned warmly at Woshua, who resisted the urge to grimace at how dirty his teeth were. Which were, in retrospect, not dirty at all. Woshua internally reminded himself to stop looking at every minute detail when talking to people and monsters, lest he go insane.

"JUST GREAT, THANKS WOSHUA! WOWIE, OF ALL MONSTERS I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE TO BE OUTSIDE! AND WALKING ON GRASS YOU HAVEN'T SOAKED IN DETERGENT!"

Not noticing Woshua's bird cringe, Papyrus cackled before feeling something tug at his cape. Looking back down, he noticed the washing monster staring up at him, the bird in the water-filled dome...blushing?

"Need help. Advice. Dating."

Upon hearing the words, Papyrus excitedly bent down (but kept his distance due to Woshua's needs) and stared at him with sparkling sockets.

"OF COURSE, MY FRIEND! DATE MASTER PAPYRUS' HOTLINE IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE! WAIT, YOU'RE NOT CALLING ME. ERR, ANYWAY...TELL ME WHO YOU'RE DATING OR WISH TO BE DATING!"

The monster and bird looked away, shuffling awkwardly. Papyrus raised an eyebrow, confused.

"OH, IS IT TOO EMBARRASSING? I, THE HUMBLE PAPYRUS, WILL KEEP YOUR SECRET CLOSE TO MY HEART! METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING, I MEAN, I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE-"

"Aaron."

"WHAT?"

"Did someone call me? ;)"

Woshua shrieked and jumped into Papyrus as Aaron somehow appeared behind him, flexing. Woshua then shrieked again as he realized that he made contact with Papyrus' sweater.

"WHATAREYOUDOINGHEREAARON"

"WHAT'S UP?"

"Oh hey fellas, I was just in the neighborhood and figured...y'know ;)"

Aaron would have no time to explain further as he watched Aaron fast-waddle away, screaming. Once he was out of sight, Aaron let out a sigh as his smile dropped.

 ** _*Aaron's muscles droop comically._**

"Ohhhh...I drove him away again because I'm creepy ;("

"EXCUSE ME, AARON, DO YOU...AH..."

"Like Wosh in a totally more-than-bro sorta way? Ooh, you have no idea ;("

Papyrus gasped, remembering Woshua's secret. Should he tell Aaron? No, that would be a breach of trust, and the Great Papyrus loves trust as much as his own reflection.

One of his cunning plans was needed to resolve this situation.

"WELL THEN! IT SEEMS YOU'LL BE NEEDING THE ASSISTANCE OF THE GREAT DATE MASTER, PAPYRUS! FOR FREE! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!"

Aaron noticeably perked up at this, causing Papyrus' grin to widen.

"Really? You'll help ol' Aaron out? ;)"

"OF COURSE! NOW THEN, TELL ME HOW LONG AND DEEP THESE FEELINGS ARE FOR OUR LITTLE WOSHUA."

* * *

Papyrus let out an understanding 'OH' as Aaron finished his tale. Apparently, Aaron had felt this way ever since he and Woshua agreed to team up should a human ever come into the Waterfall a few years ago. They talked, and although Aaron understood that Woshua didn't necessarily show an interest in him due to his personality and mannerisms, he was willing to change. As best as he could, in any case.

"I SEE, I SEE. DID YOU TRY OFFERING WOSHUA PRESENTS? EVERYONE LIKES PRESENTS. ESPECIALLY ON CHRISTMAS! BUT I SUPPOSE IN YOUR SITUATION YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS."

"Oh, I've tried, Papyrus. Woshua threw my 'How to Flex Like a Pro' book into his dome thing and it was ruined. I don't hold it against him, though, it was covered in grease ;("

"HMM...HAVE YOU EVER OFFERED HIM SOMETHING THAT WAS IN PLASTIC WRAPPING, AS TO PRESERVE IT'S CLEANLINESS? PERHAPS...A BOUQUET?!"

Aaron took a second to mull over Papyrus' point.

"Wosh says that flowers are rooted in dirt, though, and if there's anything my little Wosh hates, it's dirt. Heh ;)"

"THAT IS INDEED A POINT. A POINT I HAVE ACCOUNTED FOR, NYEH HEH HEH! CRAFT A BOUQUET MADE OF CLEANING APPLIANCES, BUT WEAR GLOVES WHEN TOUCHING THE APPLIANCES AS TO NOT TOUCH IT YOURSELF! WOSHUA CAN'T SAY NO TO SOMETHING SO DEVIOUSLY CRAFTED, SO METICULOUSLY BUILT TO HIS NEEDS!"

Aaron's eyes widened as he took in Papyrus' logic. It was soon replaced with a happy grin as he floated off of Papyrus' armchair and towards the door.

"Oh Papyrus, that's brilliant! I'll get on it right away! ;)"

Papyrus waved, smiling as he watched Aaron float out the door and close it behind him. It was then that Sans decided to walk out from his place behind the counter.

"so you really think this'll work, bro?"

"OF COURSE! THE REAL INTENTION, HOWEVER, WAS TO HAVE AARON POUR HIS HEARTFELT FEELINGS OUT TO WOSHUA, WHO WILL RECIPROCATE IN HIS OWN FASHION! ANOTHER BRILLIANT PLAN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SANS!"

 ** _*_** ** _Papyrus whispers "Nyeh heh heh!"_ **

Sans chuckled, giving his brother a few lazy claps.

"gotta hand it to ya, bro, you got some dank planning skills."

"THANK YOU, SANS, I - DID YOU JUST CALL MY PLANS MUSTY AND DAMP?"

Sans facepalmed lightheartedly and massaged his forehead with his index finger and thumb, causing Papyrus to run to the kitchen in order to get his brother painkillers.

* * *

 ** _*Aaron is looking around, fearful of something._**

Aaron nervously fidgeted as he stood outside of Woshua's small apartment. Steeling his nerves, he knocked on the door and waited, hiding the hand-made bouquet behind his muscular back.

What seemed to be a century passed before he heard the door unlock, and the small olive-green head of Woshua slowly came into view. If he was surprised, it certainly wouldn't show on his face.

"What."

"Just came over to, uh, say hi ;)"

"...Hello."

Aaron nervously looked around and avoided Woshua's eyes until he finally thrust the plastic-wrapped bouquet of various soaps, a plunger and feather dusters into the other monster's face.

"I can't hide it anymore. You're more than my bro, Wosh, you're...special to me. I know, coming from a monster like me it sounds kinda weird and maybe you don't think I'm serious, but I've never been so determined about something like this before like, ever. So, what do you say? ;)"

Woshua slowly alternated looking between the bouquet and Aaron, who was getting nervous at the silence. Finally, Woshua slowly opened the door further and stepped aside.

"Come in."

"Wha-"

"J-Just enter, idiot."

Aaron whooped and floated inside, passing by a rigid Woshua. While the cleaning monster would never admit it, he found that Aaron had a remarkably clean and perhaps even attractive character when he thought he wasn't being watched, such as occasionally leaving money in the Tem Shop to 'mysteriously' be discovered by the Temmies or engaging in regular talk with the Echo Flowers, which seemed to be the only living creatures overtly happy to see him.

Keyword being overtly.

While Woshua was having his quiet celebration, Aaron took a minute to bask in the relief. While Woshua hadn't outright said it, he hadn't outright denied it either. Internally reminding himself to thank Papyrus later, Aaron made sure to carefully set the bouquet down on the table before reclining into the plastic-wrapped armchair.

It may take a while for this thing to work...

"Hey, Aaron."

"What is it? ;)"

"iloveyouauuughthesefeelingsaresodirtyihatethemihatethemi _hate_ them"

Or it might not.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm sick right now, and this is the first thing I thought of after coming off of a high fever.

That's right, _'OH MY GOD AARON/WOSHUA THIS IS GENIUS'_ was my first thought, not _'oh god i need water for living purposes'_ or ' _help me god'_. I should get sick more often. But on a slightly more serious note, I think it could work. If you're into that. If you're not, that's cool, we all got tastes. I represent and respect relationships fairly, regardless of which person is what.

In other news, sorry Papyrus wasn't the focus on this chapter! He's going to be for about, I dunno, 20 more chapters or so, so don't worry.


	14. Minisode 2: Critical Pet

Sans nervously dabbed at his forehead, smile wavering as he tried to ignore their hellish barks.

"SANS? YOU'RE LOOKING LIKE YOU'VE SEEN A GHOST. WE HAVE ALREADY MET NAPSTABLOOK AND HE IS NOT HERE. LOOK, I DON'T LIKE THEM EITHER BUT..."

Sans chuckled, suppressing his eye as a dog jumped against it's cage, slobbering hungrily.

"hahaihatethisplacewithaburningpassionmayweleaveyet"

"FRISK IS STILL FILLING OUT THE PAPERWORK FOR GREATER DOG. OH, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!"

Sans turned towards his brother's direction to spot Frisk followed the smiling young employee out, holding a small, fluffy white dog. The dog was barking excitedly and trying to lick Frisk's hand, causing the small girl to giggle and scratch it's belly. Asriel followed right behind her, petting it's behind.

"Azzy, are you petting his bum...?"

"Yeah, animals love this. I dunno why, but they do."

Frisk let out a quiet 'oh' and continued walking to the counter, waiting for the employee to return with essential starting supplies. Caving into her curiosity, Frisk turned around and eyed a confused Asriel.

"Do _you_ like it...?"

Sans, who was currently intent on listening to their conversation lest the hellhounds' barks get to him, burst into laughter as Papyrus stared at him, confused and a little annoyed at his brother's behavior. Asriel gaped at Frisk for a moment and stammered over his own words, trying to convince his sister that what she just asked him was not only completely wrong, but completely inappropriate for _right now._

"SANS! DO YOU KNOW HOW OFFENSIVE IT IS TO LAUGH AT OTHERS' ENJOYMENT?! SO WHAT IF THE PRINCE ENJOYS RUBS TO THE REAR? I LOVE CRAFTING SPAGHETTI INTO THE SHAPE OF MY CHISELED ABS, BUT I DON'T SEE YOU LAUGHING AT IT!"

"I-I don't like it, guys, I swear!"

"YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR, ASRIEL, I WILL NOT JUDGE YOUR AFFINITY TO BUTT RUBS! ALTHOUGH I FIND IT WEIRD! **EVERYONE IN THIS STORE! I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU TO FIND IT IN YOURSELVES TO ACCEPT THE PRINCE AS-** "

"I AM LEAVING THE STORE NOW"

Asriel briskly walked out the door with face as red as a tomato, confusing Toriel and Asgore, who were waiting outside. Frisk stared dumbly at the door for a bit before slowly shrugging, scratching Greater Dog's stomach a little more.

"Maybe...I should've asked him back at home..."

 _*snnrk heeheeheehee oho-ohohohahaha*_

"NOW YOU'RE JUST LOOKING INDECENT, SANS! YOUR TEARS OF MERRIMENT ARE GETTING ALL OVER THE FLOOR, AND PEOPLE WALK ON THAT ALL DAY! YOU THINK THEY WANT THEIR HUMAN SHOES COVERED IN MERRIMENT?"

The employee, having blankly watched the events unfold before her eyes, calmly handed Frisk the supplies and gently pushed the money back to her.

"You can just have this."

"But-"

"No buts. You probably can't tell, but today is possibly the highest point in my life."

Trying to decipher the young lady's words, Frisk contemplated as she snapped on Greater Dog's collar and leash. Setting him down, Greater Dog excitedly ran circles around her before licking at her ankles. Giggling, she bent down to pet him around the neck before picking up the leash and walking towards the door.

Sans, having recovered but still wheezing, followed her out with Papyrus.

"oh geez, that nearly...heh, that nearly knocked the 1 hp right outta me."

"YES BROTHER I'M SURE IT WAS HI- _LARIOUS_ TO MAKE FUN OF OUR MUTUAL FRIEND! IF IT IS NOT APPARENT, I AM IRATE WITH YOU!"

"ah, the kid knows i don't mean it. and i'll treat him out to nice cream later."

As the skelebros exited the pet shop, they were greeted with an annoyed Asgore and a VERY angry Toriel. The air around her warped as flame magic burned passionately in her hands.

If Sans had blood vessels, they would've frozen over.

"screw that, i'm definitely treatin' the kid to nice cream. and everyone else. with my own money."

* * *

 **A/N:** Tons of work results in schedule slip and exhaustion. Sorry guys. Have this minisode to hold you guys over!


	15. Tis the Season

"HUMAN! AT THE DOOR IS I, THE FESTIVE PAPYRUS! OH, AND SANS!"

"yep, we bring offerings."

Sans took a look at the presents. They were looking good, the wrapping a little rough but otherwise made with love.

His brother, on the other hand, attracted more than a few stares. Having taken off his battle body for today, Papyrus' thin and lanky frame was now covered by a large, tacky red-and-green sweater with the words 'UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE' knit onto it, accompanied by a picture of a plate of spaghetti with sunglasses. Having visited the supermarket earlier for some snacks to bring over, Papyrus had also secretly bought reindeer antlers and was currently wearing them.

He didn't make Papyrus take it off, though. The sweater was a gift from the kid, and he was _so proud_ about finding those antlers...

The door opened, jolting Sans out of his thought. A festive looking Asgore greeted them, Christmas lights wrapped around his horns and a large sweater with the words '#1 PAPA KING' knit onto it, above four little figures of the Dreemur family. Behind him was the one and only Frisk, wearing a large red coat that was far too large for her and a fur-trimmed hat that left only tufts of brown hair and her closed eyes peeking out.

"neat outfit kiddo, are ya gonna let me sit on your lap?"

Frisk fell back onto her bottom and patted her lap, causing Papyrus and Asgore to laugh.

 _ ***The thought of hearing Sans tell you what he wants for Christmas...you are filled with DETERMINATION.**_

Staring at Frisk sit there silently, Sans began to sweat a little. Was the kid being serious right now?

"heh, it was a joke, kiddo...don't worry about it."

Frisk pat her lap again, Papyrus and Asgore now chuckling awkwardly.

"Well Sans, don't leave Frisk, ah, waiting."

"FRISK? YOU MEAN SANTA CLAUS. JUST LOOK AT THOSE CLOTHES, YOUR MAJESTY! HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S LOST A LITTLE WEIGHT, SURE, AND HE HAS JUST THE CUTEST LITTLE CHUBBY CHEEKS, FINE, BUT IT'S STILL THE SANTA CLAUS WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE!"

Sans scratched the back of his skull, trying to hide a luminescent blue blush. Slowly trudging over, he gently sat in Frisk's lap. She was warm, probably overheating from the large furry coat while being indoors, but aside from sweating a little Frisk refused to break face.

"Tell me."

"err...i want, uh...m-maybe some ketchup..."

"Ok. More."

Sans could see Toriel watching the scene from the kitchen, trying and failing to keep in laughter. Frisk, hearing her mother, shot her a thumbs-up, which only served to embarrass Sans further.

"OH, SANS! DON'T FORGET TO TELL SANTA ABOUT WHAT **I** WANT FOR CHRISTMAS!"

"bro, she's only a few steps away. if you're so eager, i think i'll just get off and-"

Frisk gently grabbed Sans' legs and moved them so that they only covered one leg. Looking at Papyrus, she gently patted her free leg. The taller skeleton shouted with glee and rushed over, sitting down.

'WOWIE, I'M ACTUALLY TALKING TO SANTA CLAUS! OH BOY, WHAT DO I REALLY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS...I WANT ALL MY FRIENDS TO HAVE AN AWESOME HOLIDAY, UM...OOH, SANS, REMEMBER WHEN YOU WANTED THAT TOY TRUCK ALL THOSE YEARS AGO?!"

Asgore noticed that Asriel had exited the kitchen and was now filming the entire thing discretely, causing him to hold in chuckles and leave the room to help Toriel cook.

"OH, I KNOW! I WANT FRISK TO HAVE A LOUD, STRONG VOICE, SANTA! LIKE MINE! SO SHE AND I CAN SHOUT ABOUT HOW GREAT WE ARE! I KNOW _I_ AM VERY GREAT, BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL AS THOUGH FRISK HERSELF DOES NOT KNOW THIS."

Papyrus put a hand to his brother's face and pushed him back to keep him from hearing, leaning into Frisk's ear to whisper. The girl would never let it show on her face, but she was incredibly shocked.

"I SEE FRISK BEING VERY SAD SOMETIMES, WHEN SHE IS ALL ALONE. I DON'T WANT THAT, SANTA CLAUS. I WANT FRISK TO SMILE AND BE HAPPY BECAUSE SHE IS COOL AND HAS COOL FRIENDS WHO ARE MORE THAN WILLING TO HELP HER. THAT HUMAN WAS MY FIRST AND BEST FRIEND EVER NOT COUNTING SANS, AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY BONES' POWER TO PROTECT HER. SO, IF YOU CANNOT GRANT ALL MY WISHES THIS YEAR BECAUSE YOU ARE A VERY BUSY MAN...BE SURE TO GRANT AT LEAST THAT ONE, OK?"

Papyrus beamed, not noticing Frisk's lower lip quiver. She dove into Papyrus' sweater, sobbing. The taller skeleton, eyes bulging out, immediately wrapped his arms around the tiny Claus.

"OH NO, I'VE MADE SANTA CRY! IT'S OK, MR. CLAUS!"

Sans picked off the hat and threw it to the side, revealing a messy patch of brown hair. Getting up, he stretched before sitting down next to Papyrus and placing a hand in Frisk's hair.

"FRISK?! YOU WERE SANTA ALL ALONG?! NO...I KNOW! SANTA HEARD MY PLEA AND USED HIS CHRISTMAS MAGIC TO CONVEY MY WISHES! FRISK..."

Papyrus' smile softened, and he gently stood up to hold Frisk in his arms. The heavy red coat sagged before falling off with a _thud._

"DON'T WORRY," Papyrus cooed, rubbing her back. "I MEANT EVERY WORD OF IT. SANTA CLAUS WOULD NEVER LIE, HEH HEH NYEH! BUT ANYWHO, I NEED YOU TO PROMISE ME SOMETHING, FRISK."

Frisk picked her head up off of Papyrus' shoulder, sniffling.

"I NEED YOU TO TELL SOMEONE WHEN YOU'RE FEELING SAD. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ME, IT COULD BE SANS, OR THE QUEEN, OR THE PRINCE, OR ANYONE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU SULK LIKE A SAD LITTLE FLOWER WHILE EVERYONE ELSE GOES ON BEING HAPPY! EVERYONE SHOULD BE HAPPY BECAUSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS SAID SO, NYEH HEH! IT IS THE HOLIDAYS, FRISK!"

Frisk wrapped her arms around Papyrus' chest.

"I love you."

Papyrus laughed.

"YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU TOO! NOW THEN, LET US GET SOME SWEETS AND SEND THE BAD FEELINGS TO THE BONE ZONE! EVEN THOUGH I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHERE THAT IS! **NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!** "

Sans watched his brother bound off to another part of the house with Frisk in his arms, laughing.

"i see ya with that camera, kid. don't worry about it, if there's anything that pap is qualified for it's takin' good care of kids, heh."

Asriel stepped out from behind the stairs, turning back to stare at the doorway.

"Papyrus understands more than he lets on, doesn't he? I mean, I say it in a good way, but..."

"yeah, but that's why i think he's rad. he knows this is going on, but instead of being all serious and mopey about it, he's...papyrus. and everyone needs a little papyrus in their life. especially during the holidays. hey, kid...merry christmas. ya deserve it."

Asriel smiled and hugged Sans, who stiffened with shock for a moment before hugging back.

"You too, you awesome, time-traveling lazy bones."

* * *

 **A/N:** Have a short Christmas special that goes from 0 to 100 real quick! Sorry, I have to go to a Christmas party real soon, so no deep plot here. Hope you guys are having a good time!

Happy holidays, and look forward to the new year!


	16. Chara Wakes His Blade!

"OH HELLO, FRISK! WHAT BRINGS YOU TO PAPYRUS' FORTRESS OF AWESOME AT THIS HOUR?"

Putting on a smile, Papyrus stared at Frisk, attempting to find an answer as to why his cool best friend decided to visit at one in the morning. While he was already wide awake (skeletons didn't need to sleep if they weren't his brother, of course), humans should not be, especially looking as sweaty as she was.

"...need Sans."

"SANS? WELL...YOU KNOW HOW HE IS AT THIS HOUR. AND MOST OTHER HOURS."

Papyrus' eyebrows knitted together. What would a lazybones like him do, especially at this early in the morning? He wasn't one to judge, Sans sometimes displayed a level of competence, but most of the time he was either jugging ketchup, sleeping on the couch, or doing both.

"OH, IT'S FINE...ALTHOUGH I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, I TRUST YOU COMPLETELY! COME ON IN!"

He stepped aside, and Frisk nervously grinned up to him as she walked inside and started climbing the stairs. Watching her go, Papyrus slowly returned to the kitchen in order to perfect his spaghetti pizza.

"DON'T FORGET TO COME DOWN IF YOU'RE FEELING HUNGRY, FRISK! I AM NOT ONLY MAKING SPAGHETTI, BUT PIZZA! AND SINCE HUMANS LOVE BOTH...I WILL TRULY BE THE GREATEST CHEF OF THIS TIME! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Frisk nodded. Cupping her hands, she shouted, "I believe in you!". Papyrus barely heard it due to her small voice, but he smiled anyway.

* * *

It was an hour before Papyrus heard any noises from upstairs: rapid thumping, as if tiny feet were pounding against the wood floor.

"THERE BETTER NOT BE DANCING UP THERE, BECAUSE I WAS NOT INVITED! THE GREAT DANCEMASTER, PAPYRUS...HMM, COULD USE A LITTLE WORK."

Sans and Frisk dashed past him at this moment, causing him to gawk and drop his prized ladle. The fact his brother was awake and _running_...

"THIS EVENT REQUIRES FURTHER INVESTIGATION BY NONE OTHER THAN ME, MASTER PUZZLE-UNBAMBOOZLER PAPYRUS!"

Getting a running start, Papyrus grandly flipped over his brother and Frisk and landed in front of the doorway, crossing his arms in an 'X' motion. Skidding to a halt, Sans let Frisk slam into his jacket with a shocked expression.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! YOU WILL TELL THE GREAT PAPYRUS WHAT IS HAPPENING, BECAUSE THERE CERTAINLY IS SOMETHING!"

Sans chuckled, casually shrugging. The sweat from his skull, however, told a different story. "w-what're ya talkin' about, bro, i-"

"SANS, I AM _NOT_ A CHILD! IF THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG, YOU MUST TELL ME! I WON'T JUDGE YOU, YOU'RE MY BROTHER!"

Sans sighed and looked back at his brother. Papyrus wouldn't budge an inch.

"...we need to go visit alphys. more time-space shenanigans. do you want to come now?"

Papyrus nodded slowly, valiantly straightening up to pose. "BUT OF COURSE! YOU AND FRISK ARE AT DANGER, AND WHO WOULD I BE IF I DIDN'T COME TO PROTECT YOU TWO? ALSO, MY SPAGHETTI PIZZA BURNED. I AM CURRENTLY MASKING MY INTENSE SADNESS."

Frisk let out a weak giggle and tugged at Sans' sleeve, nodding at him. Sans, outmatched by majority vote, let out a heavy breath as he trudged ahead of his brother and friend. Out of view, however, his grin widened in appreciation at Papyrus' insistence.

 _i need him more than i think,_ he mused.

Hearing the heavy clomps of combat boots and Frisk's laughter, Papyrus soon entered his line of sight with Frisk on his shoulders and a smile on his face.

"I ALMOST FORGOT, YOU SLIPPERY SNAKES! FRISK, SANS, WHAT IS _EXACTLY_ GOING ON?"

Exchanging worried looks with Frisk, Sans felt the light mood dissipate as Frisk nodded. "it's something me 'n the kid have been dealing with for a while. say, bro, have you ever heard of a kid named **chara?** "

Papyrus put his hands to his hips. "OF COURSE I HAVE, I REMEMBER THAT ASRIEL EXPLAINED WHO HE WAS TO ME! HE WAS PRETTY BAD AND WANTED TO KILL THE KING AND MAYBE ALL OF HUMANITY, _BUT..._ " Papyrus dramatically sighed, looking up towards the sky. The sun was just beginning to rise, painting a rather picturesque scene. "OH, I DON'T KNOW, SANS! MAYBE CHARA DESERVES FRIENDLY HUGS AND SPAGHETTI TOO. ASRIEL SAID THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW HE THEY FELL DOWN IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO...MAYBE THINGS AREN'T WHAT WE THINK. REMEMBER THE PLAYER? WELL, I THINK-"

 **"don't even waste your time, bro."** Sans' pupils disappeared, and his grin turned just a bit more feral. Frisk, feeling his animosity, buried her face into Papyrus' cape. **"that kid is evil, from the core outwards. there is no 'good person' within that rotted shell, and i doubt that little freak is human in the first place. i'm sick of this, frisk is sick of this, and we're finally gonna get rid of that thing once 'n for all. y'hear, kid?"**

Frisk gripped Papyrus' cape tighter and mumbled something, while the skeleton himself merely grimaced, opening his mouth but finding no words. Sans refused to look at them, merely staring ahead with a look in his eyes, one that reeked of bloody retribution.

"...LET US JUST HEAD OVER TO ALPHYS' LAB TO SEE, THEN."

 _WE'LL HAVE TO SETTLE IT THERE,_ Papyrus thought. Glancing over to Sans, he noticed the same sense of finality in his hollow gaze.

 _THERE ISN'T MUCH OF A CHOICE ANYMORE, IS THERE?_

* * *

"S-So, uh, what brings you guys here this early in the morning? J-Just visiting...or...uhhhhh-"

"this is something beyond the scope of 'visiting'. we're gonna need to see the soul converter again."

She raised an eyebrow. "The soul converter? W-Wait, don't tell me the C-Crown Prince-"

"nope. **we're gonna exorcise a demon.** "

"I SEE ONLY YOUR IGNORANCE, SANS."

Alphys awkwardly chuckled, but it died quickly as she saw the not-at-all-subtle hostile look in Sans' eyes, a steeled look that didn't fit Papyrus at all, and the _absolutely terrified_ gaze from Frisk. Something was very wrong.

"U-Um, ah...l-l-look, I'll, just...I'll...I'll get it, s-stay there!"

Running into the kitchen and sputtering a quick greeting to George, Alphys pushed a tile out of the wall to reveal an electronically-locked safe. Quickly tapping in the code '01247029', the safe beeped in affirmation before slowly opening, revealing a small and slightly dusty remote.

Alphys nervously gulped. Was she doing the right thing? What was going on, anyway? What was up with the skeleton brothers and that hostile aura?

"N-No, I have to...I-I have to trust my friends! They'd n-never hurt me..."

Grabbing the remote before she could get cold claws, she shuffled back into the living room and was met with no change in her three guests' expressions.

"Uh, r-right...so uh, i-if you don't mind me asking...how strong is the soul you're looking to move?"

"more like _re_ move."

"R-R-Remove?! W-Wait, what are you-"

"DR. ALPHYS, PLEASE. IT'S...VERY COMPLICATED. IN SUMMARY, FRISK'S MIND IS CURRENTLY HARBORING A FREEL̥͎͔͚͖̤̖̱̠Ó̰̱̳̱̣̭̥͖̫͜͜A͖̤̘̖̹̺̗̞͎͢DER. A MURḌ̳̿̃̂͒̋͐̀͡ERY FREELOADER."

"M-Murdery?"

Sans darkly chuckled. "we're gonna r͔̥̼̳̫̙̟̱ͪ͛i͚̟̹̗͗͐̉̍̚p͔̩̬͉̯̭̞͆ͧͦ̊̉͑͗ ͚̪̺͙ͮ̓̍ͣh̜͉̣̺́̋̅̚ị̯̔͒̐ͭ̃̋ͭ͋m̩̬͉͓̼̞̈̐́͐͐ͨ͑͑̚ ̟̞̰͓̞ͨ̈̉̄ͪ̈́ổ̙̠̤̫̥̙̘u͙͖̻̍́̐͒t̫͉̭͉̱̀͐̄, off the little freak and save frisk."

"OR JUST SAVE THEM AND FRISK. THAT'S ALSO A GOOD IDEA THAT YOU SHOULD ENTERTAIN. BECAUSE IT'S _**RIGHT.**_ **SANS.** "

Noticing Frisk mouth 'help me', Alphys pressed the button and the Converter rose once again from the floor, terminals popping out of the wall alongside it.

"W-Well, ah...just step inside there, Frisk. It won't hurt, I-I promise!"

Papyrus gently picked Frisk off his back and tightly embraced her. Before setting her down, he held her up to his face and said, "YOU'LL BE FINE BECAUSE YOU'RE BRAVE AND YOU KNOW THAT SANS AND Į̞̞̣̠̺̀ͤ͞͝ ̭͉̺̪͔͕͑ͣͥͣͭ͠Ḽ̼̞̣͇̠̙͙ͧ͞Ǫ̶͙̥̺̞̱̙̻̮̤ͪͧͫ͋̾̊ͧV̨̦̖̝̯̺̎ͥ͐̓̈́̀̕͜E͍̮̗ͣ́͟ ̧̗ͦ͋ͩ̽̋͌̅͆͘͡Y̨̦̖̰̣̗̩̼ͥͨ̊̽̋̃̀̓́͟Ō͖͎̱̖͈͍͍̞͒̀U̲̖̟͍͙̅̿̾͑̄̐̈͗."

Sniffling, Frisk nodded and put on a smile for him. Stumbling over and into the Soul Converter's main chamber, Alphys typed in commands quicker than she could follow. The doors closed, and the machine hummed to life as it once again fulfilled it's purpose. Frisk sighed, leaning against the wall...

If not for a sharp pain stabbing through her skull, causing her ears to ṛ̛̙̜̘ͮͭ̊̽͊̏̏͡i̫̥̱̿ͫ͞͞ń̊ͭ̀͏̸̙͙̠̳̖̟g̡̙̭͇̺̜͔̟̑̂̿ͭ͛̿ͦ̂͐ͅͅ and her body to lurch forward. Frisk opened her mouth to s̱̗̱̮̪̳̮͍͌ͤ̾͘c̨̖͇̳͕̫̪͈͎̊̕ȑ͇̹̤̻̙̉ͧͪ̐̍͂e̢̞̯͍͖̺̼̤͚͆̐͌̂ͬͮ͑͌ͧa̰̯̟̦̟̾̐̽̔͌ͩ̐̃ͬm̀̈́̽ͣ҉̲͙͔̦̣̱̺͇̼  
̻̼̹́̎̀ͧ͑, but found it wasn't hers, but **M̂ͦ̍̽́̓̀҉̥͎̗̲̼̺̜Ị̇͐͋ͧ̀̕N̷̪͎̩̩͗ͥͤ͡Ę͕̤͚̈́̈́͘**. It was guttural, filled with pain, anger, and sadness that swallowed her whole. Memories flashed through her mind that wasn't hers, of buttercups and bloody knives. Her body burned up, and suddenly **Ň̵̬̘ͨ̔̑ͬ̑̕O̵̟͖͓̤͔̐ͬͣ̾̿͐̾̅̍͡N̦̻̻̲̳̘̱͖̈́ͭ̽̉͜Ǫ̷̵̟̫͚͇͉̭̜̫̅ͪͨͪṊ͚͍̩̼͎͔̤̓͆̂ͅŐ͙̞̝̹̯̞͕̦̓̅̋̀͜N͗͏͇̻͓͉̪̩O̡͎̖͛ͭ̿̕͝** he felt his entire body scream in agony.

 **D̵̢͙̥͙͉̟̯̟̎ͮ͊̾̓͞O̵̝̳͖̙̺ͨ͌̎͗̒͟N̒̾ͦ͒҉̸̬̘̭̤'̰̗̦͍̭͉̳͙̀̃̋̃̿T̡͍͙͖͇͂ͣͪ͌̄͜ ̣̩͍͈̗̦̓̈ͯͨͩ͘T̛͎͓̰͙̠̗̂ͤͮ̑̀̀ͅH͇̳̳̗̐̊ͥ̉͢͝R̯͚̟̽̽̈O͉̱̫̲͖̳͐ͦ̈́͜͝W̛͉̭̞̘̑ͣ́͒͘ ̽ͪ̾̽̀҉̦̟͓̟͙̥͓͉̟M̴̳̩̰͇̥ͤ̌̇ͤ͡Ē̵̢̹̜͇̰͖̤͈̩͊̀́̉̉ͩ _P̵̱̼̰͖͎̞̝͉̼ͫ̈́͐̀ͬ́̕L͈̥̙͙̗ͤ̐͛͜͝E̴̮͈̱̻̜̺̎̍A̐̇̎̆̄͏̟͕̙̥̳͈̀S̝ͮ̈ͤ̒̾̔̅ͮ͐ͅE͙̝̤̭͐̾ͪ̇̈́̑̈́_**

 **Ḭ̞̭̼̜̩̬̗̌̒͘͜͡'̸̡͎̜̪̦̘͉̜̻ͤ̇ͬM̗̼̰̻̬̳̒͐ͤ͗̇̕ ̸̰͕̗̲̘͙̿̽̈ͫͣS̡̪͖̦̞̥̰͐ͣ̃̂ͪ͗O̧͍̮̜̮͚̱̯͕͑͛̇̎̓̀̊̊R͚̬͓̖̤̠̱͐͛̑̀̄R̯̰͉̬̄̍͊͘͞Y͕̲͓̜̬̪̤̪ͭ̃ͨ͋͐̌**

 **Ḭ̞̭̼̜̩̬̗̌̒͘͜͡'̸̡͎̜̪̦̘͉̜̻ͤ̇ͬM̗̼̰̻̬̳̒͐ͤ͗̇̕ ̸̰͕̗̲̘͙̿̽̈ͫͣ** **S̸̝̱̫̝̣̪̯̆̎̋̊̌O̗̥̻̣̘͎̦̯̿ͪ͆ͦ̋̒͠ S̡̪͖̦̞̥̰͐ͣ̃̂ͪ͗O̧͍̮̜̮͚̱̯͕͑͛̇̎̓̀̊̊R͚̬͓̖̤̠̱͐͛̑̀̄R̯̰͉̬̄̍͊͘͞Y͕̲͓̜̬̪̤̪ͭ̃ͨ͋͐̌**

And then it was done.

* * *

 **A/N:** Remember when I said that Chara was sleeping?

 **Chara never sleeps.**

On a side note, sorry if things are moving a bit too quickly, especially after a fluff pocket, but it'll be back soon with some wibbly-wobbly author bullsh- magic on my end, and hopefully I won't have to write Chara's death.

There are a ton of theories I've sifted through on that creepy death-child, some of which I agree with and some I don't, so I'll try to work those in. Papyrus already mentioned one. But that's besides the point for now.

See ya guys next chapter.


	17. Rehabilitation

"SANS I WILL NOT ARGUE THIS ANY FURTHER! WE WILL **NOT** BE KILLING CHARA ONCE HE STEPS OUT OF ALPHYS' SOUL MACHINE THING AND I AM **NOT** BLINDING MYSELF AGAIN!"

"ok look i didn't even bring my sunglasses this ti-"

An ear-splitting scream coming from the machine interrupted the argument, causing both skeletons to go deathly silent. Listening closely, Papyrus could hear tiny hands pounding against metal, making him nearly panic from anxiety.

"DR. ALPHYS! DR. ALPHYS, STOP THE MACHINE!"

"kiddo?!"

"I-i-it sh-should...be ending soon! J-Just, just have f-faith in...uh, j-just-"

A familiar explosion burst out of the machine, blowing back the room's inhabitants. Quickly suspending his friend and brother, Sans warped back onto his feet before he hit the wall and set them down as the smoke cleared.

"good thing the sunglasses gag was just that. a gag." Waving away smoke, Sans coughed and stumbled back as he dodged his brother's frantic clambering.

"FRISK?! CHARA?! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! I CAN'T SEE PAST ALL THIS STUPID SMOKE!"

"D-Don't worry about it, Papyrus, my remote is...err, s-somewhere..." Claws screeched against metal, causing Sans to shudder and Papyrus to scream in a girly fashion. Blushing, Alphys muttered an apology before swiping it off the ground and pressing a button. A large industrial fan came out of the ceiling, blowing the smoke to the floor.

Finally, the three huddled around the machine.

Frisk let out a tiny cough as she stumbled out of the chamber and into Papyrus' arms, where she was picked up into a loving and tight embrace. With Frisk in safe hands, Sans and Alphys turned to open the other chamber. To Sans, the sight was underwhelming yet satisfying. To Alphys, it was horrifying.

Chara was almost skin and bones, and he had to use a considerable amount of energy to just prop himself up to lean against the wall. His brown hair was tangled, matted and overgrown, obscuring his eyes and leaving only an unnerving red glow to peek out. His pale skin clashed with his green-and-yellow striped sweater, which retained it's bright colors as though it had never aged.

Or in Sans' opinion, not coated in a thick layer of his brother's dust.

"eugh. this little bag of flesh was hiding in frisk?"

 _"...hello to you too."_

The Fallen Child let out a sickly cough before turning to grin at them. It was feeble, yet carried the sharp, cunning edge of a blade.

"ya look like a train wreck, freak. guess that's the least ya could get, eh?" Sans chuckled lowly, but it stopped as soon as he heard Chara join him.

 _"Ehehe...heheh. I know..._ ***hck caghk*** _...you carry empty threats, judge."_

"THEN WHY DON'T WE STOP THREATENING AND START HUGGING!"

Chara turned to look at Papyrus, his grin widening. Setting Frisk down, Papyrus shot him an innocent smile back and walked over, bending down to look at him.

 _"If it isn't little Papyrus and his best buddy."_ Chara giggled, but couldn't look away from Papyrus' eye sockets. They seemed to widen in...surprise? Pity? Whatever it was, it certainly wasn't the fear he was expecting.

He was confused and slightly annoyed, but kept lightly smiling. No need to break face.

 _Papyrus is simply too naive to recognize my power_ , he mused. All the more satisfying to surprise him and the insects in the end.

"FRISK, IS IT STRANGE THAT I FIND HIM TO LOOK A LITTLE...GROSS?" Frisk shook her head. "HMMM...HE KIND OF LOOKS LIKE A SKELETON, NYEH HEH!"

"an ugly one, sure."

Papyrus shot an accusatory glance towards his brother. "SANS, DO NOT INSULT A FRIEND IN NEED! IF I CALLED _YOU_ UGLY, YOU WOULD SURELY BE UPSET! IF YOU CALLED ME UGLY ON THE OTHER HAND, I WOULD CRY, WRITE ABOUT IT IN MY SUPER-SECRET DIARY, AND THEN CRY SOME MORE!"

Frisk nodded, smiling at Sans. "Yeah, friend..."

 _Friend...?_

 _ **No, they're tricking me. Like a carrot on a stick. The strong don't need friends. The strong only need to-**_

Chara was forcibly snapped out of his self-destructive thoughts as he was picked up by Papyrus, the skeleton putting extra care into his grip. Yelping in surprise, he stifled a blush and turned into Papyrus' chestplate as Sans and Frisk eyed him with an odd look.

He was an angel of death, damnit, they don't get surprised. Or _hopeful_ , for that matter.

"WHY DON'T WE MAKE SOME FOOD FOR THAT LITTLE TUMMY! I BET THAT YOU HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD PLATE OF MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS' SPAGHETTI IN...EVER!"

 _"Hmph...fine. Try not to make it pathetic, skeleton."_

Sans took a dangerous step forward, right eye flaring up. Frisk gently grabbed onto his sleeve in order to feebly hold him back. "you're in no position to make demands, freak."

"IT'S ALRIGHT, SANS! CHARA JUST HASN'T _REALLY_ TALKED TO SOMEONE IN A LONG TIME, SO HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO BE NICE AND NOT MURDERY YET! THE GREAT PAPYRUS NEVER GIVES UP ON ANYONE THOUGH! I BET THAT YOU," Papyrus gently poked Chara's nose, "HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BE A GREAT PERSON!"

"nevermind the fact everyone hates him," Sans muttered. It didn't go unnoticed, as Frisk shot him a pleading look before running over to Papyrus and gently taking Chara's limp free hand. Watching them from the sidelines, he noted that while Chara scoffed and shot some subtle insults towards them, he never truly tried to break away. Perhaps he liked positive attention?

"bleh, the kid's compassion is rubbin' off on me. this kinda thinkin' ain't good, gotta keep watching..."

"S-Sans? Are you alright? Y-You've been, uh...muttering...to yourself. Not that t-there's really a problem with that, but..."

Sans waved it off in a nonchalant manner, signature grin widening. "s'fine. hey, why don't we put on some cool anime shows or whatever while we wait for dinner?"

* * *

"SOOOOO...HOW WAS THE PASTA, CHARA? WASN'T IT GOOD? NO, GREAT? NO, **MAGNIFICENT?!** "

Chara huffed and turned away. The spaghetti, by virtue of being monster food, had restored a good deal of his health and tasted pretty good. Not that he'd ever admit it, however. Insects don't deserve praise from a titan.

The pawn did have his uses, though. Not only was he washing his sweater and engaging in small talk with him, he was also rather...attractive. Not in the physical sense, gods no, but there was something about the tall skeleton that made Chara want to stick close by to him. His soul? Perhaps. His power? Definitely not.

 _"It was bearable, alright?"_

"SO IT WAS NOT PATHETIC? NYEH HEH HEH, ANOTHER JOB MASTERFULLY DONE BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"

 _"Feh, don't get your hopes up."_

"...YOU KNOW, THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOES NOT JUDGE! FRISK WAS QUIET WHEN WE FIRST MET, BUT NOW WE'RE BEST FRIENDS! IF YOU WANT TO VOICE YOUR TRUE FEELINGS, FEEL FREE TO!"

Chara whipped around to look at him, furious yet blushing. _"W-What are you trying to insinuate, you big fat pile of bones?! I could kill you right now, **ǎ̲̆ñ̄͛ͪ̈̄d͇̳̞**_ _ **n̷ob͢o̕d̶y͞ ͠would k͟n͜o҉w̢ a t̸hi̸-"**_ "THEN WHY HAVE YOU NOT DONE IT YET?"

Chara closed his mouth, trying to formulate a valid response but failing. "I DID LEAVE YOU WITH MY BACK TURNED AND WITH MANY SHARP THINGS, AFTER ALL. BUT...IT'S NOT AS THOUGH I HATE YOU FOR IT. IN FACT, I'M VERY HAPPY AT YOUR PROGRESS! YOU TRUSTED ME FOR OVER THIRTY MINUTES **AND** LIKED MY SPAGHETTI! GOLD STAR FOR A GOOD CHILD, NYEH HEH!"

Papyrus smiled as he continued washing the dishes, hearing the vague sounds of Alphys screaming in glee and gaudy pop music blaring out of the TV.

...

"CHARA, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

Turning around, Papyrus' jaw dropped.

Chara was currently slumped into his seat, arms tightly crossed and face scrunched into an angry expression straight at him. Fat tears were threatening to spill out of his eyes.

"WHAT'S WRONG?! DID I NOT SUPPLY YOU WITH ENOUGH SHARP OBJECTS?!"

 _"Y-You're patronizing me...!"_ he sobbed. Quickly putting the dish down, Papyrus shook his head and hurried over.

"NONONO! OH, I'M SORRY! I'M JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND, IS ALL! ALRIGHT, HERE COMES THE SKELETON HUGS!"

 _ **"GO AWAY! I'LL KILL YOU!"**_ Chara screamed and began kicking and flailing as Papyrus gently picked him up and held him close. Chara continued screaming, and as his vision blurred he could see more shapes appearing in the doorway. After continuing his tantrum for another minute, he slumped into Papyrus as fatigue swallowed him whole.

The skeleton's soul was...warm. Inviting. Combined with his already weak physique, it had torn down the walls of the Fallen Child's heart. **_"W-W-WHY AREN'T YOU S-SCARED OF ME?! E-EVERYONE IS! YOU IDIOT, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME! THOSE.._** _._ _Y-YOU..._ _the_ _y didn't..."_ Chara let out a tortured sob as his body shook. Mentally and physically exhausted, he rested his head against Papyrus' sweater.

 _"w-why are you so nice to me...?"_

Papyrus held Chara out to eye level, expression stern. "IT IS AS OBVIOUS AS THE SUN IS CIRCULAR! CHARA, I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN, I'M SORRY...BUT THAT'S OK! BECAUSE I CAN HELP YOU _NOW_! EVERYONE DESERVES TO HAVE FRIENDS, BECAUSE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL AND COOL! WELL, EXCEPT FOR A FEW PEOPLE. BUT YOU'RE NOT A FEW PEOPLE, SO I'LL TOTALLY BE FRIENDS WITH YOU!"

It took several minutes before Chara giggled, sounding more like a broken record than a threat. _"I wasn't always l-like this...I m-mean, I didn't mean to...Azzie..."_ Chara went quiet again, and Papyrus could feel the fabric of his sweater dampen again. Nodding, Papyrus placed a bony hand on Chara's back and comfortingly stroked it, sitting down at the table.

"I FORGIVE YOU, CHARA. BUT THE OTHERS WILL TAKE A WHILE SINCE YOU WERE...WELL, AN EVIL MURDERER. BUT THAT'S OK! AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SAY THOSE THINGS, THINGS LIKE 'YOU DON'T REALLY LIKE ME, COOL DUDE PAPYRUS' AND 'EVERYONE HATES ME', IT'LL BE JUST FINE! I HAVE COMPLETE FAITH THAT YOU'LL TRY HARD FOR EVERYONE'S FRIENDSHIP!"

 _"...Last time someone trusted me, they died."_ Chara sniffled, wiping his eyes. _"H-How are you sure I won't lead you to destruction, too?"_

He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "NYEH? DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I HAVE FAITH IN YOU, CHARA. THE PLAYER IS GONE, SO YOU ARE YOUR OWN BOY! I TRUST THAT WITHOUT HIS BAD INFLUENCE, YOU WILL MAKE THE BEST DECISIONS! THAT'S JUST WHAT FRIENDS DO, RIGHT?"

Chara didn't respond, but smiled.

 _"Y-You better not be lying...I'll kill you if you are..."_

Papyrus let out a small chuckle. "YES, I'LL BE SURE TO WATCH MY STEP! NYEH HEH HEH!"

* * *

Stepping away from the doorway, Sans slumped into the couch with relief etched onto his face. While it wasn't nearly enough to convince him, it was a rather large step in the right direction. This timeline was one of heart attacks, it seems.

"my brother somehow tamed a mass murderer. oh my god, he's still alive and he tamed a mass murderer..."

Frisk stuck her tongue out at him. "Told you so. Chara is ok...he needs help."

Alphys nervously coughed into her claw. "H-Hey so...should we tell everyone else about him?"

"oh. oh right. uh, maybe tomorrow morning. maybe. kiddo, we're gonna need your help big time if we're gonna make this work."

Frisk nodded. "I'm ready!"

Sans grinned. Frisk was known for miracles, after all.

"alright then, folks. let's start drawin' up some drafts."

* * *

 **A/N:** Bleh, I need to write more Chara. I don't got the feel for him yet, but hopefully this chapter got the _feels_ for him, I dunno.

Read some reviews, thanks for the support guys! Glad the Zalgo worked out, it was my first time using it and I just found it by complete accident. What else could represent a mind parasite better than that? Well, however you want to interpret Chara, maybe 'parasite' is a bit harsh.

The Zalgo text for last chapter reads as follows, for those of you who were on a device that couldn't view it:

FREELOADER

MURDERY

RIP HIM OUT

I LOVE YOU

SCREAM

MINE

NONONO

DON'T THROW ME _PLEASE_

I'M SORRY

I'M SO SORRY

AND NOBODY WOULD KNOW A THI(NG)

Alrighty then, that should be it! What'll happen to Chara? Will the royal family be as receptive? Will Sans try to kill the Fallen Child in his sleep (probably not)? Check it out soon(ish, maybe, I hope)!


	18. More Stalls Than a Public Restroom

After a few more comforting words, Papyrus walked out of the kitchen and into the living room with Chara, who had refused to leave the protective embrace. "HELLO, MY VALUED FRIENDS! ARE WE READY TO, AS THE HUMANS SAY TODAY, 'BLOCKBUSTER AND CHILLAX'?"

"as long as the fr- _chara_...is mentally able to understand more stuff besides killing and suffering." Sans began to chuckle, but winced as he felt Frisk elbow him in the arm.

"THANK YOU, FRISK! SANS, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM **PERSONALLY** HELPING CHARA TURN HIS LIFE AROUND AND I IMPLORE THAT YOU BE JUST AS SUPPORTIVE AS I AM! SEE, EVEN FRISK IS APPRECIATIVE OF MY EFFORTS!"

Frisk nodded. Moving over to the left and towards Sans, Frisk patted the empty couch beside her while tilting her face towards Chara.

"Get comfy."

 _"Y-You should be hating me, so why are you-"_

"Get comfy."

 _"...This is a trap, isn't it? No way anyone, especially **you**_ , _would forgive a naughty boy like me. Heehee, here I thought that you were actually being-"_

Chara let out an undignified yelp as Frisk snatched him from Papyrus' arms and dunked him onto the seat, wrapping her arms around him to prevent his movement. Sans watched closely, but kept a neutral smile, while Papyrus squealed in glee and clapped.

"Capture successful."

 _"I-In such a sure tone?! Unhand me at once! Or I'll...I'll...UNHAND ME!"_

 ** _*Knowing Chara's threats are hollow...you are filled with DETERMINATION._**

"SEE, CHARA? FRISK IS WELL VERSED IN THE ART OF HUGGING! JUST LOOK AT HER FORM, MAGNIFICENT!"

Papyrus' analysis was cut short as Alphys poked him in the shoulder. "S-Sorry, but how are we going to let...uh...the you-know-who's f-find out about this?"

"I KNOW WHAT NOW?"

"T-The...you k-know the bunch of monsters I'm talking about!"

"I DO?"

Alphys looked towards Papyrus with a completely unamused expression.

 **"WAIT, I GOT IT!"**

"Ok then-"

"METTATON!"

Alphys threw her hands up into the air in frustration and groaned, which was a rare action in itself. "The royal family, Papyrus!"

"OH RIGHT! SANS," Papyrus looked at his brother, who casually turned to look at him as well. "DUE TO YOUR RECENT SPIKE IN PRODUCTIVITY, I AM DELEGATING YOU TO ROYAL PLANNER FOR THE MAGNIFICENT PAPYRUS' 'CHARA-IS-NOT-DEAD-OR-MURDERY-AND-THATS-GREAT' PARTY!"

Chara squirmed out of Frisk's iron grip to scream, _"P-Party?!"_

"THAT'S RIGHT! I'LL EVEN GET OUT THE COOL PARTY BOY CROWN THAT I WEAR EVERY YEAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY, I KNOW, BUT EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE PAMPERED ONCE IN A WHILE."

 _"No party! I will **not** allow myself to be subjugated to their withering glares, their biting words, their-"_

"M-Maybe if you're a good boy..." Alphys nervously chuckled as Chara glared at her. "We'll make a nice, big chocolate cake and cut you out a big slice!"

"oh my god alphys, are you seriously bribing that kid with ca-"

 _"I'LL DO IT."_

Frisk gave Alphys a double thumbs-up as she glanced back to Chara, who was currently imagining how large and decadent the cake would be. Deeming him no threat, Frisk got up and walked over to Papyrus' side.

"...OH. WELL...ALL ACCORDING TO THE GREAT PAPYRUS' PLAN!" Papyrus turned around on his heel to march into the kitchen, a bounce in his step and Frisk right behind him. "FRISK AND I WILL BRING OUT THE FABLED 'BOOK OF COOKS', CONTACT THE REST OF THE ROYAL FAMILY WHILE WE ARE CALLING UPON THE CULINARY GODS!"

"right, right..." Sans turned to Alphys, grin widening. "welp, i'm gonna take a nap."

"W-Wait, how long are you p-planning on sleeping for? The cake, e-even under Papyrus'...care...should only take about an hour!"

Sounds of clattering, Papyrus' screams of "I'M SORRY CULINARY GODS" and Frisk playing a wind instrument came out of the kitchen, causing Sans to roll his eyes and chuckle while Alphys shuddered.

"...T-Two...hours!"

"goin' off of that sound logic, i should need about-" Sans' jacket buzzed, causing the short skeleton to idly rummage around in his pockets for a bit before picking out a dated cellphone. Turning it on, Sans' pupils dimmed slightly.

"what's crackin', tori? oh, ok...yeah, the kid s'alright. err, what? now might not be the best time to come over because...u-uhhhh..." Sans looked over at Alphys, who panicked and pointed to the television.

"the tv came to life and papyrus is currently fighting it."

Alphys facepalmed before pointing to the window.

"i mean, we sent the kid out on a wilderness hike to emulate 'man v. wild' but in real life. oh hey, the kid put that crocodile into a headlock."

Alphys silently screamed and pointed to George, who waved at them from a nearby coffee table and shouted something about mugs.

"i mean, alphys created a killer spoon that is currently holding everyone hostage and has forbidden anyone from coming near the house."

 **"SANS!"**

"well, you were the one who was pointing the things! i'm a storyteller by nature! look, tori, just...oh..." Sans felt sweat beads form on his skull as he noticed that Toriel had already hung up.

"..."

"...papyruuuuuus!"

"YES, BROTHER?!" Papyrus shouted from the kitchen as the sounds of an electric mixer and oddly enough, an industrial drill, could be heard coming from inside.

"when is that cake gonna be done?"

"ERR, THE GREAT PAPYRUS ASSURES YOU THAT PERFECTION TAKES TIME!"

Alphys moaned. "We need to stall. _For a while._ "

* * *

Toriel marched towards Alphys' lab with an expression of determination only a Boss Monster could muster. Embers of a brilliant blue occasionally shot out of her paws, which instantly created holes in the snow around them.

It was with this sight that Asgore and Asriel shuffled after her.

"Hey, Dad? Am I gonna get this way when I have children?"

"Um..." Asgore scratched his bearded chin, looking conflicted. "Well, I'd appreciate it if you didn't, my boy."

 **"Be on your guard, you two. We draw near."**

"Yes, honey..."

"Frisk is fine, mom. Trust me, I know Sans and Papyrus and they'd never let her get hurt on their watch."

Toriel sighed. "I know that as well, dear, but call it a mother's intuition. Something is...wrong."

Asgore, noticing the atmosphere change, nodded. "I too feel a change in the air. I feel strangely excited, but nervous. I wonder..."

Asriel, choosing not to chime in with his parents, looked at the approaching lab with suspicion and concern.

 _This feeling...it's familiar._

 _..._

 _...T-This is...!_

Asriel gasped, but quickly covered it so Toriel and Asgore couldn't hear. The aura was dulled, but there was no doubt about it, this aura was unique and one that he had gotten _very_ acquainted with.

 _C-Chara...?_

 _Oh god, oh god in heavens Frisk, what have you done...?_

The sound of fur rapping against metal snapped him out of his thoughts. Strangely enough, the door did not open.

"...Sans! Sans, please open this door! I need to check on Frisk, because quite frankly your responses were very concerning!"

"Erm, hello Sans, it's Asgore! I just wished to visit as well, perhaps have a cup of tea if you're interested...?"

Asriel gulped, but stepped up to the door. "Sans...what are you hiding?"

* * *

"oh _crap_ , they bought lil' asriel with 'em!"

"W-What's wrong with the C-Crown Prince?" Alphys furiously whispered back.

"it's real simple," Sans took one arm off the door to wipe his skull. "i felt some of chara's aura on the kid, and it's still on there. going off of what the little frea- _kid_...says, asriel was his closest confidant, no separating 'em. "

"S-So where are you going with this?"

"asriel knows somethin' is up _and_ can sense chara, that's where i'm getting at!"

Chara, listening in on their conversation, felt his eyes widen. He scrambled up and off the couch, crouching behind the TV.

 _"I-I can't show myself to them yet, **especially** Azzie!"_ he hissed.

 **"SANS!"**

* * *

Toriel rapped on the door a couple more times, now frustrated at whatever antics were going on in there. Asgore cleared his throat and politely tapped on the door as well.

"Sans, uh, may we please come in to check on Frisk for two seconds? I feel like you're up to something important, and we promise not to pry. Right, Tori? Just two minutes to check on Frisk, then we'll be back later to pick her up."

A muffled voice finally answered them.

"H-H-Hello, you...guys! Um, n-nice weather today, isn't it...?"

Asgore brightened up, smiling warmly. "Why yes, it is! Goodness, it's quite warm even with all the snow around, perfect for judging the condition of...the...soil..."

Toriel's annoyed glare did not falter, but Asgore sure did.

* * *

Sans quickly darted into the kitchen, nearly slipping on an oven mitt on the ground.

"code red, man!"

Papyrus looked up from the large cake, which was obscured from vision by an equally large, chocolate-stained tarp.

"WHAT THE HECK IS A CODE RED?"

"tori and the royal family have arrived!"

"OH SWEET SASSAFRAS! W-WHAT DO WE DO, ROYAL PLANNER?!"

"where is frisk?"

Papyrus quickly plucked Frisk off of the kitchen counter. While she was covered in chocolate, Frisk muttered a quick 'hi Sans' before resuming her hand licking.

"uhhh...it'll do?"

"BE SURE TO RETURN HER SOON, I NEED HER TO DO COOKING THINGS!"

Sans nodded, quickly grabbing Frisk and dashing out of the kitchen (but not before wiping her hands with a paper towel and lightly scolding her that it's somewhat gross to lick your hands and then decorate a cake with them).

* * *

Toriel was about to blast the door down before a muffled _thud_ could be heard from inside, followed by Sans muttering 'ow'.

"e-err, hey tori! yer ol' buddy sans is back with a special guest! say hi, frisk!"

"...This chocolate is pretty nice."

Briefly losing her composure at the odd response, Toriel quickly saved face. "Chocolate before dinner, Sans? I know you're more responsible than this!"

"s-sorry, but the kid gave me her patented 'royal guard-dog eyes' and i just couldn't help myself!" Sans could be heard nervously chuckling. "right alphys?"

"E-Err, yeah! It was so kawaii, your majesty!"

Asriel grimaced at her word choice, quickly imagining Frisk as a magical girl with large eyes before banishing the thought.

"Hey, do you want any of this chocolate, Chara? It's pretumphglck"

"hahahahacharawhatthatsnutskiddoquitpullingallourlegs!"

 _"Wait, is this dark chocolate? It better not be, swear to God whoever invented that useless garbage is going to get a knife in the chest!"_

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

 _"...FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-"_

Toriel blasted the door down.

* * *

 **A/N:** I think you guys can tell when I REALLY started getting carried away with the whimsicality of this chapter.

Sorry I didn't write this up earlier, work and just plain ol' exhaustion has been **destroying** me. Goddamn, is there any a time where I've wished to be a robot more?

Anyways, you guys have been really supportive in the meantime, thank you all so much. When you guys say 'this fic is wonderful' and 'please keep writing', it really does make me happy and willing to write more. I read all the reviews, so even if I'm not responding to all of them you can be assured that they all get their moment.

Alright, next chapter is the big party! Sans maybe gets hit by the door! Chara and Asriel have a touching reunion! Frisk washes her hands! All this and probably more, see you guys next time!


	19. It's Showtime

"Alright Sans, _what_ is going on...here...?"

Toriel's gaze froze as she locked eyes with Chara, who gave her a wide smile and appeared to be casually twiddling his thumbs. The sweat dripping down his face and the fact that he was actually missing his own twitching fingers told a different story, however.

Asgore gently pushed her to the side so he could walk through the door, staring at his adopted son. There was a mix of emotions in his soft gaze; pain, disappointment, and confusion were only some of many. Behind him was Asriel, who decided to stare at the floor forlornly instead of Chara.

"SANS, THE CAKE IS DONE~! OH BOY, WAIT UNTIL CHARA SEES THIS CHOCOLATE MASTERP - **OH DEAR.** "

Papyrus quickly threw off his apron and oven mitts and shoved them into a nearby potted plant. Giving his widest smile, Papyrus strode over to the general area where everyone was a dramatically cleared his throat.

"HELLO EVERYONE, AND WELCOME TO THE 'CHARA-IS-NOT-DEAD-OR-MURDERY-AND-THATS-GREAT' PARTY! FUNDED BY ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH...HEH?"

Nobody said a word. Frisk, somehow managing to slip away from Sans, slinked over to Papyrus and grabbed his cape.

"O-OH YES! WELL, WHY DON'T WE ALL SIT DOWN AND...GET COMFORTABLE! FRISK AND I HAVE AN ULTRA-SPECTACULAR SUPREME CHOCOLATE CAKE THAT NEEDS CUTTING!"

Grabbing Frisk and tucking her under his arm, Papyrus awkwardly laughed and dived into the kitchen, subtly peeking out into the living room. Toriel had stiffly taken a seat on the couch, and Chara blurted out a terrified giggle as he scooted a little farther from her. Asgore had lumbered over to sit down between them, folding his hands and opening his mouth. He closed it soon after, finding no words to introduce their situation.

Chara had found that the reaction that stung the most was from Azzie.

 _"Howdy, b-bro. Why don'tcha sit down next to your...best friend Chara and...uh-"_

"...No thanks."

Chara fell silent again, turning his gaze back to the wall ahead.

* * *

"WHAT DO WE DO?!" Papyrus frantically whispered. "I HAD ALREADY CUT THE CAKE INTO PERFECT PIECES FOR EVERYONE! I AM A SKELETON WITHOUT PURPOSE, FRISK!"

"Calm down...we'll have to try something bold. Like...Mettaton bold."

Papyrus let his jaw hang open for a second before excitedly gasping. "I UNDERSTAND YOU COMPLETELY! FRISK, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS A PLAN TO REUNITE YOUR FAMILY IN IT'S FULLEST, BUT IT REQUIRES TWO PARTS! PART ONE IS OPERATION 'HAVE FRISK STALL THE ROYAL GUESTS UNTIL THE GREAT PAPYRUS ARRIVES TO RESOLVE THE CONFLICT', AND STEP TWO IS 'THE GREAT PAPYRUS ARRIVES TO RESOLVE THE CONFLICT'!"

Frisk nodded, understanding Papyrus' inner workings perfectly.

"NOW THEN, I HAVE NOT FOUND ANYONE AT THE MOMENT WHO COULD PLAY AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS FOR FREE, SO I WILL HAVE TO DO! YOU, HOWEVER, MUST BE FRISK! DO YOU UNDERSTAND OR DO YOU WANT ME TO RECORD ALL THIS IN A CASSETTE TAPE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE?"

Frisk put her finger to her chin before shaking her head. "I'll do my best..."

"PERFECT! I SHALL RUN UPSTAIRS TO GET MY FRIENDSHIP REPARATION TOOLS, YOU GO BACK OUT THERE!"

Frisk nodded and fist-bumped Papyrus before they headed their seperate ways as normally as possible. Papyrus' definition of normal, however, was to climb up the spaghetti chute sitting directly over the stove to his room.

* * *

Frisk walked out of the kitchen to suffocating silence. Alphys was in the corner hyperventilating while Sans was rocking on his heels, sweat beads on his skull. The royal family refused to look at each other, save for Asgore occasionally glancing over to Chara.

Frisk rolled up her sleeves. She was filled with DETERM-

"...My son."

Chara jolted as his father's booming voice snapped him out of his mental trance. He turned slightly to the left, trying to bury the intense nervousness clogging up his mind."

 _"Yes, fath- Asgore?"_

Asgore picked up Chara, who panicked and looked at him with wild, frightened eyes while squirming.

 _That's it. He doesn't forgive me. He'll snap my puny spine and throw my body into the fireplace. They'll enjoy the cake without me, laughing the night away. Monsters are no different. They'll always try to kill me. They'd never forgive me for what I've done. Not if I-_

His mind stopped as he was suddenly pressed against Asgore's side in a tight but protective embrace. The king took in a deep breath before speaking.

"Not...not Asgore. Your dad. Now, I...heard about what you've done. K-Killing...yourself, returning to the surface with Asriel, attempting to...destroy humanity. Tell me something, Chara."

Asgore held Chara out to be directly at eye level. The fallen child noticed tears pricking at his father's eyes, and he felt incredibly uncomfortable.

"Was it because...we did something wrong? D-Did...did I do something wrong? I am not mad at you, Chara, but I'm scared. Scared of what brought you to hate humanity as much as you did. Scared of what turned my sweet baby boy into a killer. Please tell me, I will not hurt you and I certainly will not judge you, for I too have sinned. I am your father and I," Asgore took a shaky breath and looked away for a moment, but smiled and turned back to Chara. "I love you, Chara."

Chara could not say anything for a full minute, thoroughly stunned at how his father was revealing himself to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Toriel and Asriel were as shocked as he is, and a familiar flash of purple-and-blue exiting the room. Chara's mouth opened.

What followed it was a scream of pain and sobbing. Sobbing that did not belong to a mass murderer, but a confused and scared child.

 _"H-Humanity..."_ Chara hiccuped and cried into Asgore's shirt. _"is so **STUPID!** All...a-all they do ish **hurt**! Hurt each other! Hurt what they don't undershtand! Ish infureeating!"_

Sans decided not to giggle at Chara slurring his words in fear of Asgore (or Toriel) violently reminding him not to. Alphys had already fainted from lack of proper breath, but nobody felt the slight quakes in the ground.

"That you are right, my child," Asgore cooed as he comfortingly rubbed Chara's back. "But time has not only changed us monsters, but humans. For the best, I suppose."

 _"I-I thought...you hated me. F-For...ugh, ***snrk***...what I've done."_

"Although your methods were a tad bit...extreme," Chara tiredly chuckled at the delicacy of word choice by Asgore. "You did it for the good of monsterkind. While I still don't understand what the humans had done to you so long ago, I will ask when _you_ are ready to tell me, not when I demand it. Does...that sound good?"

 _"...Yeah. And, for the record...y-you were and are the best goat dad. I'm...I'm sorry, dad. I'm so sorry..."_

Asgore choked back a sob, but smiled.

"No need for apologies, son. So, Tori..." All eyes fell on Toriel, who looked at Asgore with a difficult expression. "Is there anything you want to say to our son?"

Toriel looked around for a moment before scooting over closer to Asgore. Chara looked up at her with the most unconsciously cute expression, which her inner mother instincts resisted in order to keep the mood intact.

"My child..." Toriel began, looking at him at eye length. "When you died, I was incredibly heartbroken. It was as if I failed as a mother, losing both her children in one day. I say 'heartbroken' literally, as I feel as though a part of me died inside, never to return."

Chara looked away guiltily, and softly muttered _"I'm sorry."_

Toriel looked through him and into his soul, a skill she had learned from _her_ mother. Although Chara's soul was a darkened red color and beat weakly, it showed signs of repair as glowing red parts peeked out, like cracks of new skin under a scab.

"My child..." Toriel's gaze softened as it returned to the living room. "Although I feel that your actions were...substantial, that will never change the fact that I am your mother and I love you as much as I love Asriel. I will not lie to you, the road ahead, the road to recovery, will be difficult and filled with challenges."

Chara said nothing and his gaze didn't change, but a few more tears rolled down his blushing cheeks.

"But we will tackle them together. I see that you are no longer the figure I had heard about from Asriel, and I would very much like it if I can help you make sure that figure never exists. Humans and monsters alike are our friends now, Chara, and as your mother I will make them understand that you too are their friend."

Chara gulped and took a few breaths before weakly holding out his arms.

 _"Mommy...?"_

A small part of Toriel told her that this was a trap, but a very large and very angry side of her told it to be silent while she hugged her child.

"Yes, my child, mommy is here. And as long as you stay, so too will I."

Toriel placed a paw in Chara's matted hair as he quietly sobbed into her shoulder. Frisk, rolling her sleeves back down, turned towards Asriel without lifting her feet up at all. Asriel signaled 'no', but could not stop Frisk from gently grabbing him, lifting him up and walking him over to the couch.

"Azzie has to say things too."

"No I don't."

"Yes he does."

Asgore chuckled. "Thank you, Frisk. Come now, Asriel, I know I cannot force you to forgive your brother, but at least say something, anything...to at least lift some weight off of your chest."

Asriel stumbled out a couple of incoherent words, before sighing and running a hand through his fur.

"H-Howdy, Chara. Well...I dunno what to say. I want to forgive you, but...well...you know what happened, right?"

Chara nodded. _"Yeah, I...it...s'ok if you wanna take your time."_

"Thanks for understanding. Also, if you _do_ go berserk again..." Asriel's face morphed into Flowey's fanged grin for a second, the white slits of his pupils staring into Chara's soul. "I'll take it upon myself to keep you on the **straight and narrow.** "

Chara stared wide-eyed at Asriel, who kept the face up before bursting into laughter and climbing onto the couch and patting his head.

"I'm just joking! Well, mostly. I can sense that you changed, so...don't disappoint me, seriously."

Asriel smiled at his brother, who returned it after nervously giggling.

 _"Heh...someone has gotten pretty brave these days, huh? Really grown up..."_ Chara moaned in a dramatic fashion while his head slumped against Asgore's chest. _"I'm not the older brother anymore..."_

Everyone laughed, with Sans sitting down and sighing in relief. Frisk was really a miracle, wasn't she?

...

Wait.

 **Where is Papy-**

 **" _NYEH_ _HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!_ "**

Papyrus slid down the staircase like a majestic swan, rose taped to his teeth. Flower petals and a golden light also rained down from an unknown source, only adding to the drama of the scene. That, however, was not the most interesting thing about the skeleton at the moment.

That would go to his exact replica of Mettaton EX's body, right down to the slender legs and hot pink boots. A pink soul, which on closer inspection was a paper-mâché heart with a glow stick inside it, was inside a glass char taped onto the front of the bright pink chestplate.

 **IDOL OF THE ROYAL GUARD, PAPYRUS _N E O_**

"FRISK! I, PAPYRUS NEO, HAVE COME TO RESOLVE THE SITUATION! I JUST NEEDED TO MAKE SOME ADJUSTMENTS TO THE SUIT, BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST HERE, IT MADE MY BUTT LOOK BIG."

Nobody said a word, and even Frisk's eyes were wide open as they all stared at Papyrus NEO's impossible beauty.

Or perhaps they were experiencing sensory overload from the sheer ridiculousness that he witnessed. Sans, however, had already passed out.

"NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Undyne suddenly crashed through the roof, looking towards the exact spot where Alphys was still unconscious.

"OH, HELLO UNDYNE!"

"I KNEW that my internal Alphys Sense was off the charts! Don't worry babe, Captain Undyne is here! Also, hey Papyrus, nice duds!"

Undyne ran over and past the royal family to pick Alphys up and hold her in her arms.

"I'm gonna take her back to my house so we can chill and watch some anime about a bald dude _punching stuff to death._ See you nerds later!"

Papyrus happily waved and sighed contentedly. It was at this point that he noticed that the royal family was still staring at him.

"SOAK IT IN, MY DEAR FRIENDS! BASK IN THE GLORY THAT IS PAPYRUS NEO! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Papyrus struck a fabulous split, causing more light and petals to rain down.

"BUT DON'T STARE FOR TOO LONG, BECAUSE THE CAKE IS GOING TO MELT IF WE WAIT ANY LONGER. SERIOUSLY, I DID NOT THINK TO REFRIGERATE IT. WHOOPSIES."

* * *

 **A/N:** i just had to kill the mood

Papyrus NEO

what have i done

i've created a monster i can longer control

someone please make fanart of this

help


	20. Minisode 3: Hangover

_"Augh... **god** , what did I do...y-yesterday?"_

Chara groaned and turned away from the sunlight hitting his face. His stomach and head were killing him, he was somehow wearing Papyrus' birthday crown, his shirt was mysteriously gone, and everything was just so **obnoxiously loud.** He put a hand to his temple in order to mentally review what happened yesterday; the reunion, the party, the cake that descended from the gods, Sans' dare...

...

 **Sans' dare.**

* * *

 _"heh, hey kiddo. i bet ya can't eat that last half 'a the cake in under twenty minutes."_

 _"Even with half gone I couldn't finish this in an hour."_

 _He shrugged, chuckling. "...bawk."_

 _..._

 _"What was that, you smiling pile of trash?"_

 _"what? i didn't say anythi- bawk bawk. whoops, 'scuse me pal, didn't mean to bawk bawk baaaawk."_

 _Chara idly remembered indescribable rage filling his entire body, DETERMINATION clouding his mind._

 _"WHY YOU LITTLE - BRING IT **ON!** I'LL DUNK YOU SO HARD THAT YOU'LL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE SINGLE SKELETON WHO DID WORSE THAN A QUADRUPLE AMPUTEE ON THE COURT!"_

 _Sans gave a grating chuckle. "guess i musta **bawked** up the wrong tree, huh?"_

 _His last memory was sticking both hands firmly into the cake's sides, expression grim.  
_

* * *

...

If Sans stopped time to slip something into that cake, Chara was ninety percent sure he'd slip a knife between his ribs and accept whatever punishment awaited him.

Chara was in the midst of his thoughts when arms suddenly wrapped themselves around his waist and gently caressed his stomach. Two answers that Chara would almost literally kill for presented themselves.

Whose arms were these, and how much would he have to explain to...whoever this was.

Chara gently disentangled the arms from his waist and turned to face whatever awaited him.

...

...

 _ **❤️ Flirt**_

"Hey babycakes, did you sit in sugar? Because...you have one **_sweet_** -"

In hindsight, Chara could've perhaps waited for Frisk to finish before jumping out the window screaming.

* * *

Sans surpressed a manic giggle as he plucked out rubbing alcohol and a cotton swab from the first aid kit.

 _"If you were the one who sent Frisk up there, **pick a god and pray.** "_

"oh sure, i was the one who sent frisk up to her _own_ _room_ , kiddo."

Chara took a second to process this information before loudly groaning and dropping his face into his palms.

"hey, s'not all that bad. at least the... _prrrrrrrft_...the rose bush cushioned your fall."

 _"Yeah, the thorns really gave me my life's share of butterfly kisses. **Thanks. Sans.** "_

Sans tried his hardest to still his hand as he gently rubbed the alcohol onto Chara's cuts, causing the young boy to hiss and flinch.

"alright, seriously, cool your jets. tryin' to disinfect these nasty cuts."

Chara grumbled, but settled down to allow Sans to continue.

 _"...How many people and monsters heard me screaming?"_

"do you really wanna know or are you askin' me just 'cuz it's cliché to in this trauma conga line?"

 _"Just get it over with, smart guy."_

"tori is tellin' our neighbors that you're absolutely fine and you're not bein' abused, asgore is pretty bummed out that your big butt crushed all the roses, and mettaton left a message on the house phone tellin' me to recruit whoever screamed 'like a fabulous diva' into his little band."

 _"...That second one was just to make me feel guilty and you know it."_

"yep." Sans swabbed another cut with a soaked cotton swab, causing Chara to clamp his mouth shut and let out a scream through his teeth. "whoops, too much alcohol. almost like i dumped the entire swab thing into the bottle."

 _"I **HATE**_ you."

"Well...I love you."

Chara swiveled his head around to see Frisk right behind him, idly playing with a strand of his hair. His red eyes, dull and lifeless, turned to look at her eyelids. A fierce internal debate on whether or not to scream again had begun.

"hey, i ship it."

Chara opened his mouth.

* * *

"And so, I would be very grateful if you did not call the police to report a murder. My child Chara is a very...adventurous boy, and he gets himself into trouble all the time. That trouble was my husband's rose bush. Our expertise in healing magic should come in handy during-"

 **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"**

Toriel simply sighed and placed a paw onto her temples, rubbing slowly and deliberately.

"I apologize, Mrs. Siegfried, but it seems as though Chara is now perfectly fine."

* * *

 **A/N:** Have this quickie while my brain recuperates from typing out essays on why optimism in the workplace translates to longer life.

I'm dead serious.


	21. Obligatory Valentine's Chapter

**A/N:** Everyone speculating Charisk, may as well give my official statement on it. You sly dogs, you.

Chara does, without a doubt, **not** like Frisk that way. It's a sibling-sibling relationship no matter how raunchy Frisk'll be getting. If anything, he's more attracted to the power of her SOUL.

Frisk, on the other hand, is desperate for love and attention in any sort of modicum and is a lot more internally complex. While I'm only expanding on this now (because I'm too lazy and stupid to do it in the story proper), this ties into her insecurities from her past.

Notice how not _once_ Chara has flat out said 'I love you', to Frisk or anyone really, despite being _showered_ with love and acceptance. It's not easy getting over years of emotional trauma, and while I write Frisk to be some eccentric, lovable goober I do remember the past I unfortunately created as well. She's flirt-heavy because she thinks that it's the only way to illicit these feelings and get that desire for validation satiated. It's a hand-wave excuse, but I'd most likely say that it's her mother's influence, who was frequently seen with other men.

As for Sans? He's just Sans. He probably has the idea that Frisk is flirting to just mess with Chara and that her fears were quashed already, so he's endorsing this behavior without really knowing why. When your best buddy's face is literally three straight lines, it's kind of hard to read.

So yeah. In conclusion, Chara ain't havin' it, Sans is kind of a jerkwad and Frisk just wants to be loved by everyone. Happy Valentine's Day.

* * *

"WOWIE DR. ALPHYS, LOOK AT ALL THESE SOULS! HUMAN STORES SURE DO HAVE MONSTER VALUES IN MIND!"

"O-Oh god Papyrus, that's not it a-at all!" Alphys exclaimed, waving her hands. "T-This is all decoration for a human h-holiday named Valentine's Day. I-It's based off the Christian saint Valentinus, also known as Valen-"

Alphys looked up to find that Papyrus was gone, most likely running up and down the other isles. She sighed and grabbed hold of the cart once more, strolling up a particularly pink aisle.

"S-So um, Chara..."

 _"Don't get the wrong idea! I'm just here to check out all this frilly garbage, ok? I-It's not like I'm planning on buying anyone anything, **OK?!** "_

Alphys turned around and stared at the boy for a moment before squealing, giddily jumping.

"Oh my god, you're _so_ tsundere! You even said the line perfectly too, oh my gosh you're so cute!"

 _"I have no idea what you're talking about, ok?! Look, just...I'm putting this in the cart!"_

Chara tossed four small teddy bears into the cart, each holding a small plush heart with the phrase 'You're Always In My Heart'. Alphys eyed him knowingly and gave him an understanding smile.

 _"These are for my_ ** _self_** , _ok?! This holiday is stupid!"_

"WOWIE, LOOK AT THIS!"

Alphys and Chara turned around to see Papyrus bounding over to them, wearing a large, bright red sash with '#1 SMOOCHLORD' written on it. The sash fit perfectly onto his breastplate, never moving despite Papyrus' clumsy steps.

"I FOUND THIS NEATO BATTLE SLING IN THE BARGAIN BIN! IT SAYS #1 ON IT, SO THE GREAT PAPYRUS JUST HAD TO GIVE IT A NOBLE HOME! HOW DO YOU THINK IT LOOKS, DR. ALPHYS? CHARA?"

 _*snrk*_

Chara turned away shaking with laughter, but gave Papyrus a thumbs-up. Alphys shook her head, but smiled anyway.

"I-It looks great, Papyrus. You look particularly dashing in it."

Papyrus gasped and put his hands to his cheekbones, blushing bright orange.

"T-THE GREAT PAPYRUS KNEW IT ALL ALONG! THIS IS DEFINITELY GOING IN MY WARDROBE, THEN! HAVE WE ALL BOUGHT OUR HEART DAY GIFTS?"

Chara came back over, breathing heavily but smiling nonetheless. _"Yeah...sure."_

"I-I got a really nice one for Undyne!"

"FANTASTIC! I HAVE PROCURED A GIFT FOR EVERYONE AS WELL! LET US DO THE CHECKING OUT THEN, NYEH HEH!"

* * *

"Welcome back, my child! It was very chilly outside, are you alright?"

Chara mumbled out a quick 'yes' and looked away. Frisk appeared from behind Toriel, softly gripping her skirt.

"What's wrong...?"

Grimacing, Chara shuffled about before holding out two of the plushies towards Toriel and Frisk.

 _"F-Found these at the store and had some extra money, so...y'know...I figured 'why not'. Do...do you guys like them?"_

Toriel stared at the small bears for a second before bending down a placing a paw in Chara's hair.

"I love them, Chara, thank you. But...I feel as though I must warn you, my child."

 _"W-Warn me?"_

"Be aware of surprise hug attacks!"

Laughing, Toriel watched as Frisk tackled Chara from behind into a tight embrace and scooped both children up into her arms. Asgore, hearing the commotion, lumbered into the room with Asriel in tow. Spotting the small plastic bag, he bent over and gingerly picked up one of the plushies.

"Oh my, these are such cute little things. Did you get these for all of us, Chara?"

 _"...Maybe."_

Asgore chuckled and walked over, wrapping his arms around his wife and children. Asriel, holding his own plushy, patted Chara on the leg.

"You know Chara, it wouldn't hurt just to be a little more honest with yourself. Are you happy with how everything turned out?"

Chara blinked before looking around. His family had him surrounded and immobilized in hugs, which made his SOUL feel...warm. His blush turning a bit red, Chara looked at Asriel and cracked a small smile.

 _"...Yeah. Now what are you waiting for? Get in here."_

* * *

"Wow Alph, it's a...clam."

Undyne flipped the clam around to look at it, giving Alphys an awkward smile.

"M-Maybe the clam h-has something inside of it...?"

Letting out an understanding 'oh' and facepalming, Undyne flipped open the clam and eagerly looked inside. She stopped breathing, however, when she noticed what the shining object inside was.

A ring, the band made of shining obsidian, was sitting inside the clam. The set stone was a sapphire free of impurities, and Undyne could even make out her face in it. She turned to Alphys, who noticed her dumbfounded expression and smiled.

"I-I didn't have the courage to ask you for a long time...but I do now! U-Undyne, I...uh...I like you a lot, and dating you for two years...i-it isn't enough. So I, um, made a ring for you from the f-finest of materials the Underground should offer. Undyne, will you...y-you...marry me?"

Undyne continued to stare at her.

Alphys gulped and opened her mouth to-

 **"NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OF COURSE I WILL, ALPH!"**

Undyne grabbed Alphys and twirled her around, both laughing. Alphys opened her eyes to notice that Undyne was crying, the tears flowing out of her one eye.

"U-Undyne, you're...!"

"W-Whatever, man! Come hell or high water we'll be together **FOREVER!** **FUHUHUH, I LOVE YA TO BITS, ALPH!** "

"I-I'm so happy to hear you say that...!"

Tightly embracing her new wife, Alphys peeked over her shoulder to see Papyrus and Frisk watching from the doorway. Frisk shot her a thumbs-up and smiled while Papyrus was sobbing, a handkerchief made of bones in his hand.

"NYOO HOO HOO, THEY GROW UP SO FAST! IT'S LIKE IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS TRAINING WITH UNDYNE AND COOKING SPAGHETTI, AND NOW SHE IS GETTING MARRIED AND I'M STILL COOKING SPAGHETTI! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, UNDYNE, DR. ALPHYS!"

"THANKS, PAPYRUS, BUT THIS SHOW AIN'T DONE YET!"

Undyne shifted Alphys into her arms to carry her like a princess. Her wide, toothy grin shined in the light.

"Now we gotta have an **AWESOME** wedding! Cake, robots, and...well...I already got my princess! Gods, this is gonna be so **WICKED!** "

Alphys' face turned beet red, but she smiled brightly regardless.

"I-I can't wait...!"

* * *

 **A/N:** HELLO, IS THIS THING ON? **  
**

AH, YES IT IS!

HELLO THERE, OTHER PEOPLE! 'TIS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, DELIVERING YOU A MESSAGE FROM BEYOND SPACE AND TIME IN PLACE OF THE USUAL GUY!

 ***INSERT A PICTURE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WHO HAS VERY BIG MUSCLES! AND HAS COOL SUNGLASSES! ALSO IMAGINE HIS FRIENDS IN THE PICTURE, WHO ALSO HAVE COOL SUNGLASSES AND MUSCLES!***

I AM HERE TO WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY HEART DAY! GO OUTSIDE AND PROFESS YOUR LOVE TO YOUR SWEETHEART! OR JUST GO OUTSIDE, AS THAT IS COOL TOO!

hey can i say something too

NO SANS

oh come on paps, i might as well.

NO SANS YOU ARE _RUINING_ THIS END NOTE

too bad, i guess.

*insert a picture 'a me winking, all handsome like*

but nah, i actually got somethin'. happy valentine's day, guys, and remember that someone out there is rootin' for ya. and if ya can't think of anyone, think 'a me, ok? you don't need LOVE, per say, but everyone could use a little love. i'd say more, but...

SANS

buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

 **SANS SKELETON, I SWEAR ON THE MERCIFUL KING ASGORE**

i just don't got the _heart_ for it.

 **THAT'S IT, I AM COOKING THE REGRETTI SPAGHETTI**

pap no

 **PAP YES**


	22. Hands

He smiled. Another variable added to the equation, another event to keep the child occupied. Expanding the time sphere just a bit larger, W.D. Gaster watched as his eldest son cracked a few more puns to a screaming Papyrus in the back row of the wedding hall.

Watching his sons' live their lives happily was perhaps the greatest thing he could ever wish for in this prison.

 _"So...uh...you may now kiss the bride again...I guess..." Napstablook muttered, unconsciously crying a heart made of ghost tears. He had no idea why he was giving permission to the newlyweds as the priest had already done that at the chapel, and the attention he was getting made him feel self-conscious.  
_

 _"OOOH THAT WAS MARVELOUS BLOOKY!" Mettaton cheered, Mad Dummy nodding his head next to him._

 _Cheers erupted as Undyne threw off her tie, picked Alphys up and kissed her directly on the lips, cherry blossoms raining down over their heads. Asgore and Toriel then walked into the room carrying a large cake in the shape of a sword._

 _"THAT LOOKS **RAD** , TORIEL!_ _Before we dig in, any 'a you nerds got sappy speeches?! Speak now, or...well, I guess you could always tell 'em later too." Undyne sweatdropped. "BUT STILL!"_

Gaster shook his head, chuckle echoing off of the infinite space. That girl never seemed to run out of passion.

 _ **"͘**_ _ **D͢a** **m͠n̸͜͡ ̶̛̕i͠t̸.̀.͜͟.͠͠ ̷̸S͠o ̸e̢v̸e̵̢ǹ̵͠ ̴́T̨̀H͏̛͢AT ̷́̕p̷͡ow̷̛e͞r̴.͘͞.̴.͟ ̀̕It ̢was̶͝ǹ̷̵'̧t҉̡ ҉̸̀e̷̕n͝ó̡ug͏͝͡h͢͝͏.̴̴.̴͝.̵?"̶͞**_

He banished the thoughts. That wasn't this timeline and it never would be.

"...Hey."

Gaster jumped and swiftly turned around. It was probably just a timeline popping up and interrupting him as they usually do, perhaps exhaustion playing on his old mind. Nothing intercepts the Void anywa-

Frisk waved again at the frozen skeleton creature. Although the monster looked frightening, she smelled the faint odor of salt and ketchup in the room; the smell of Sans' coat. Perhaps they knew each other.

"What...are you doing out here? Where am I?"

 _{...This is my home, child. I am W.D. Gaster, and if you would pardon my brusque nature I'd like to ask you how you got here.}_

Frisk looked around. "I...fell asleep. At Und- my friend's wedding."

 _{There is nothing to hide, child. I've seen it already, the marriage of Undyne and Alphys.}_ All he _could_ do was see, but he decided to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"So you're..." Frisk grasped at words to describe Gaster. "A time wizard?"

Gaster chuckled, a hollowed one filled with age and wisdom. _{Perhaps. I cannot alter, only watch. You should wake up soon, Frisk. The Void is not one for company.}_

"You can come, too. This place is...weird."

Frisk walked up to him, swallowing her fears to grasp his finger. She noted the odd holes in his palms, but decided not to bring it up. The tall skeleton gave her a small smile, but pulled his hand away to turn back to the time sphere.

 _{I would love to say 'yes', child, but Fate hath dealt her hand already. I am scattered throughout space and time, and nothing can bring me even close to repair. Trust in that I've run the calculations.}_ Gaster explained, and he internally cursed as he felt the child frown at his bitterness.

Frisk willed her SOUL out with a loud 'ping!', causing Gaster to jolt and shift away. The warmth was...appealing, but the scientist knew not to let his instincts cloud his judgement.

"Determination...it makes dreams come true. Even if you're all over."

 _{I cannot take half of your soul, child! Humans have limits, and I will not allow you to throw your life away so early! Papyrus and Sans...they love you very much, you know this.}_

Frisk remained unfazed. "It'll grow back."

Gaster looked at the girl as if she sprouted wings and flew away. _{A soul cannot simply 'grow back', that is impossible. My studies-}_

"Are old. Look at this."

Frisk concentrated and started shaking before her SOUL flashed, and it began to play a memory like a projector.

* * *

 _"Azzie, let's play out in the backyard! Dad made a soccer field!"_

 _Asriel chuckled, but it sounded more tired than amused. He snuggled further into the sheets. "Oh, s-sorry Frisk. I'd love to...but I'm really not feeling up to it."_

 _Hands grasped at her shoulders, and Frisk turned around to see Chara peeking over. "You've been saying that for a while now. Out with it, what's wrong?"_

 _Asriel shook his head. "N-No, nothing is-"_

 _"Asriel please, if anyone should know about hiding stuff it's me. Don't make me come over there and make you spill the beans that you're dying or whatever."_

 _"You're **dying?!** " Frisk felt her blood run cold.  
_

 _Asriel gasped and fervently waved his hands in the air. "No, of course I'm not! Chara, don't say those sort of things! No, it's just that...lately I just don't feel the energy to go out and...do stuff. Like the determination of my soul is...waning?"_

 _Frisk snapped her fingers and willed her SOUL to come out._

 _"Frisk? Frisk, what are you doing?"_

 _"Um, I'm fine Frisk, really. The determination thing was a hypothesis if anyt- **AH AAAAAH OH MY GOD** "_

 _Frisk held the half out to Asriel, who scrambled out of the bed and to the farthest corner._

 _"P-PUT IT BACK!"_

 _"Frisk how in any of the seven circles did you snap your soul in half and not just...die?!"_

 _She shrugged and tapped the half in her left hand. "Moved the important stuff over?"_

 _"That is not possible. This is a dream. I'm going to wake up and-"_

 _"Take it like a fuzzy goat man."_

 _Frisk hopped over the bed and started pressing the half into Asriel, who shrieked and started to gently slap her away._

 _"No, do you know how gross this sounds?! I'm not taking half your soul, Frisk- stop, no get- stop!"_

 _Frisk took a deep breath and focused. The lights dimmed, and time itself seemed to slow down as recollection flashed in her eyes.  
_

 ** _*You hold on to your hopes..._** _ **you think about why you're here now...i**_ ** _t fills you with DETERMINATION._**

 _The half in her left hand glowed white, red sparks occasionally bursting out of it. The light spread out to form a new half, and the fixed SOUL soon hovered out of her left hand and in front of her chest. Time resumed as normal, causing Asriel and Chara to simply gape at Frisk._

 _She shrugged and tapped the half in her right hand. "Determination."_

 _Chara fainted._

* * *

The memory ended and Frisk's SOUL went back to normal. "He got better. We all played soccer and Dad accidentally...punted the ball into a Tsunderplane."

Gaster stared at the child. Noticing his stare, Frisk pouted defensively.

"I kissed it better."

 _{That...y-you can't just...who are you, human?}_

"...I'm Frisk." She posed dramatically, and Gaster had an image of Papyrus flash through his sockets. "Second Lieutenant of Cool."

 _{...Haha, isn't it amusing that I can remember when Papyrus crowned you?}_ Gaster sighed, patting his skull. _{It seems as though, despite all my...outdated knowledge, I cannot fight against a human's stubbornness. You have convinced me, however, so do as you must.}  
_

Frisk nodded, repeating the process. Gaster noted that the effects on time were not apparent as the Void was too...empty? He made a mental note to study this rift after he got out and spent some time with his sons.

Gaster was grimacing at the thought of his younger son's spaghetti before Frisk tapped his hand again, holding out the half made entirely of Determination. Her SOUL, true to the memory, had already repaired itself.

 _{So abrupt, child? Why, if this were a novel the reader would surely be complaining about the lack of character building or notable events.}_ Gaster chuckled and stared off into the expanse at...something.

"I want you to be with Sans and Pappy again. You like them."

 _{I don't just like them, they're my children. I love them both so much.}_ Gaster sighed contentedly as he replayed memories of the past, when Papyrus was only a baby and Sans was only a child, holding his hand like the greatest toy in the world and telling him all about his latest adventure and plan to break the barrier.

"Wow...Dadster!"

Gaster laughed this time. _{Now you really are like Papyrus. I'll admit, child, you've gotten this old bag of bones excited. The Void leaves you very... **bonely**.}_

Frisk giggled at the pun. "Just take it already!"

Gaster obliged, and the half was absorbed into his bones.

Immediately, a burst of energy spread throughout his entire body, a tingling sensation that didn't feel all that bad. His world being bathed in white, Frisk waved and disappeared as Gaster slowly drifted towards the time sphere, which looked more like a portal at this point.

He couldn't help but squeeze out a few violet tears as consciousness slipped away.

 _{I'm coming home, my children.}_

The light soon disappeared with a final flash, leaving the Void empty once again. The time spheres, now without purpose, faded away.

* * *

"...Buh!"

Frisk jolted up and forward, causing Chara to hold her back from smacking into the seat in front of her. After he looked at her questioningly and checked to see if she was alright, he sighed and resumed fiddling with his tie

"Y'know, I'm kinda jealous that you slept for two hours," Chara mumbled. "Papyrus has been talking for the _entire time_. About stuff that _isn't even related to the wedding._ "

"AND THEN I SAID 'SANS! UNDYNE IS GOING TO SLEEP ON OUR COUCH AND YOU LEAVE TAKEOUT FROM GRILLBY'S ON THE END TABLE?!' AND THEN HE SAID-"

Sans cleared his throat and stood up, grin widening. "i know what i said, paps. i said that i-"

{Hadn't **mustard** up the courage to eat the rest yet. That's my boy.}

Sans dropped his glass of champagne, whirling around with his socket glowing bright blue. Papyrus only stared, familiarity welling up in his ribs.

{Hello Sans. Hello Papyrus. I've missed you, and I love you both so much.}

W.D. Gaster, former Royal Scientist of the Underground, stood at the entrance of the wedding hall with a soft smile on his face. Sans teleported over and barreled into Gaster's chest as they wrapped arms around each other.

"papa...papa...i'm sorry...i missed you too..."

{No need to cry, Sans, I'm right here. We have that human child, Frisk, to thank for this.} Gaster chuckled. {Humans, am I right?}

"...FATHER?" Papyrus strolled over, circling Gaster with a curious expression. "IF SANS TRUSTS YOU SO PASSIONATELY THEN I TRUST YOU TOO, BUT I JUST...WOWIE, HOW COULD I FORGET? I'M SORRY..."

{I was gone for a long time, Papyrus, be assured that you can do _nothing_ wrong. A child holds their parent's hand for such a short amount of time,} Gaster remarked wistfully. {But they hold their hearts forever.}

Tearing up, Papyrus put on his biggest grin and wrapped his arms around Gaster and Sans, picking them up and twirling them around with a laugh. "THIS DAY JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER! UNDYNE GOT MARRIED TO DR. ALPHYS AND NOW THE GREAT PAPYRUS GAINS A FATHER!"

Papyrus put his father and brother down as Undyne approached, letting Gaster have some time to himself as he walked over to Frisk. "Wait, Papyrus, this guy was your _dad?!_ I was...only a kid when I saw you for the first time, Dr. Gaster!"

{Ah yes, now I remember. You were the little girl who tried to fight the king while we were having tea, yes?}

Boisterous as ever, Undyne laughed and lightly tapped his shoulder. "Ah c'mon, I was pretty brash kid! Lookit me now, I'm a brash adult and _hitched_ , fuhuhuhuh!"

{I could tell, that dapper suit would fit none other than the greatest groom. Or bride, if you'd like?}

"Eh." Undyne shrugged. "If ya wanted to split hairs, then I'm a bride too. But I'd rather be the groom so I could **comb a path through my frosting-coated enemy! NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!** "

Undyne materialized a spear and expertly cut the cake into large slices, grinning in triumph as Alphys nervously clapped. Gaster bent down and tapped her shoulder, causing her to jump and nervously smile up at him.

"Oh, Dr. G-Gaster! Sorry I didn't remember the C-CORE incident...heh, w-wow, I even worked on it with y-you and Sans!"

Gaster waved it off. {All water under the bridge, as humans say. I do need to ask you one question, though, and it is a question I pondered during my time...away.}

"Y-Yes?"

Gaster suddenly got a rare look of excitement in his eyes. {How is Mew Mew: Kissy Cutie regarded these days?}

Alphys gasped and squealed. "Oh. My. God! Don't even get me started!"

* * *

Asgore watched from afar as Gaster and Alphys chatted excitedly about...something. He turned back to his family's little area, where Sans had yet to let go of Frisk and Papyrus had yet to let go of both of them.

"I've never seen Sans so...happy. Genuinely happy, I mean."

Toriel looked up from her slice of cake. "I'm glad, although I feel guilty that I forgot Dr. Gaster and his horrible predicament. I should bake him a butterscotch-cinnamon pie, to formally introduce him into our little world."

Asgore smiled and turned to her. "May I help in the kitchen, Tori? My large belly can deflect any stray batter that flies towards your way!"

Toriel snorted and put on a face of mock anger. "Don't test your luck, Dreemur, or I may just have to scold you."

"Hohoho, I'll keep that in mind, Your Majesty! Now then, may you please appease this old fool and help me with the slow dance?"

Rolling her eyes, she took Asgore's hand and got up from her seat. "I wouldn't want you to get stolen away by Aaron, would I?"

* * *

 **A/N:** You thought it was a wedding chapter, but instead you get Gaster! I think that wraps all the major characters that need saving from a terrible fate. For those of you wondering why Chara was so grumpy (again), Papyrus' speech started out heartfelt but devolved into basic gossip you'd share with a friend. This went on for two hours and nobody else was able to make a speech.

Sans is a little OOC this chapter, but since I signed onto the whole 'Gaster found and adopted them when Sans was a child and Pap was babybones'...thing, I think it's fine for our resident pun-loving skeleton to have another reaction that wasn't 'smug lazy guy', 'cold and murderous because Papyrus is dead' or 'paranoid and neurotic because resets are _fun_ '.

Seriously, it's written into the game that Sans has a life of misery. Guy deserves to have a good time.


	23. Flavor Town

"wow grill, this place is really swingin' now."

Sans appreciatively hummed as he looked around New Grillby's, which absolutely buzzed with life. The place had tripled in size, all to accommodate a growing customer base of both monsters and humans. Frisk and Papyrus followed behind closely, the former amiably waving to several friendly (and slightly drunk) patrons and the latter internally screaming at the tripled amount of grease he has to not tolerate.

"Would the new scenery compel you to _pay your tab_?"

Sans heartily chuckled, patting Grillby on the shoulder. "aw c'mon, grill, you know i can't break tradition just because you got those neat...is that kid licking your plant?"

Grillby chuckled and turned to look at the monster in question, who began to nervously lick the ficus faster at his gaze. "Yep. He came in here flat broke one day, didn't know when he ordered and started doing that just to save face. I keep telling him that I'd be glad to give him a burger or two on the house, but he won't listen. It got so bad I even set up a bedroll in the janitor's closet for him."

Sans openly laughed this time, slapping the bar counter as he strolled over to a stool and hopped up. Grillby walked behind the counter as Papyrus quickly drew near, wiped the stool down with a napkin and sat on it, bringing Frisk into his lap.

"SANS, THIS ISN'T EVEN YOUR WORST IDEA, BUT IT'S STILL TERRIBLE."

"I don't know what stings more," the fire elemental remarked as he started cleaning glasses. "Water or your brother's criticism."

Frisk frowned and made a heart with her hands, causing Grillby to ruffle her hair with a careful hand. "Nah, it's alright kid. If there's anything us bartenders know how to do, it's recover from a bad night."

"I-I'M NOT INSULTING YOU, GRILLBY! YOU'RE A VERY RESPECTABLE PERSON, IT'S JUST THAT..." Papyrus wildly gestured in an effort to get his words across. "GREASE GETS EVERYWHERE, SMELLS LIKE THE DICKENS AND GETS ALL GROSS AND STICKY! WHY DOES EVERYONE ENJOY IT?!"

"I can think 'a some _fiiiine_ ladies who enjoy that kinda stuff, ya know what I mean!"

The table a few feet from the bar erupted into laughter as the man confidently sat back down, making a few more quips about how he nailed the delivery and how they should buy him more drinks.

Grillby crackled tensely as he watched Sans go completely rigid, pupils disappearing.

"Sans...I think you should step outside and-"

"HEY SANS, WHAT DID HE MEAN? YOU'VE BEEN TO GRILLBY'S BEFORE, MAYBE YOU KNOW THE ANSWER!" Papyrus waited for his brother to respond, but turned down to look at Frisk after a few moments. "FRISK, YOU ARE A VERY RESPECTABLE LADY, DO YOU ENJOY THE SCENT AND FEELING OF GREASE ON YOUR FACE?"

Frisk buried her hands into her face and moaned. Papyrus couldn't see it, but her face was burning red.

"I-I think...you should..."

Frisk's answer was cut off by the sound of Sans' stool screeching back, and he hopped off to walk towards the offending table. Grillby put a hand on Papyrus' shoulder, and he mustered a serious expression.

"Papyrus, those guys were making an obscene joke about human procreation. Nothing you should concern yourself with."

"PROCREATION? YOU MEAN MAKING BABIES?"

"...Yes, I do mean making babies."

Papyrus smiled as though it was obvious all along. "THAT JOKE IS FLATTER THAN SANS' ENTIRE CAREER, THEN! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE STORK BRINGS BABIES TO GOOD MONSTERS! HUMANS MUST HAVE THEIR OWN STORKS TOO!"

The laughing had stopped as a loud crash could be heard from behind them, the telltale 'ping!' of blue magic taking effect.

Papyrus began to turn around before Frisk frantically tugged on his scarf.

"OH, WHAT IS IT FRISK?"

Frisk looked towards Grillby with the most pleading look she could give him, and Grillby discretely nodded.

"Hmph, seems Frisk is shy to say. We've found a particularly challenging puzzle that needs your master touch, and it might take a while to complete."

Papyrus' sockets lit up with glee, and he managed to completely ignore the girlish screams, begging for mercy and Sans yelling **_'i guess you guys are the ones gettin' screwed tonight, huh?!'_**.

"I WOULD LOVE TO HELP, GRILLBY! WHERE IS THIS PUZZLE YOU SPEAK OF?"

Grillby stared at him, a bead of lava sweat dripping off of him. Frisk quickly raised her hand, grabbing both their attentions.

"I-I would like to order!"

Grillby barely suppressed a grin. "How can I ignore one of my patrons? What will you be having?"

"NOTHING WITH INSANE AMOUNTS OF GREASE IN IT, YOUNG LADY! THEY'LL GO RIGHT TO YOUR BONES!"

Frisk made a large show of mulling it over, and Grillby was thanking every god that no one else was calling him over. Papyrus idly hummed, creating a few bones to recreate his face on the table.

The sounds of violence behind them had stopped, Grillby and Frisk letting out a silent sigh of relief as Sans hopped up looking completely fine.

"hey, so what was that about procreation?"

"GRILLBY WAS SIMPLY REAFFIRMING MY KNOWLEDGE OF THE BABY STORK, SANS. NOW SHUSH, FRISK IS ORDERING SOMETHING!"

Frisk pointed to a simple Monster Salad, and Grillby hurried away to prepare it. Papyrus nodded at her choice, while Sans smirked.

"we go to a place with killer burgers and heavenly fries and you pick the salad, bucko?"

"SHE IS BEING WISE IN HER DECISIONS, SANS! LOOK AT YOU," Papyrus pointed to Sans' stomach area as an example. "ALL THOSE BURGERS AND FRIES WENT STRAIGHT TO YOUR GUT! YOU LOOK LIKE THAT MAN FROM, HUMAN MOVIE...AH...AHA! YOU LOOK LIKE MALL BLART!"

"hey, i'm just big-boned, s'all. and for the record, my favorite movie is..."

"SANS."

"hey, i didn't even say it yet. who said it was a pun?"

"...FINE POINT. BUT I SWEAR IF IT IS, I AM LEAVING THIS PLACE!"

" _salad_ din."

Papyrus set Frisk down onto the stool next to him with a straight face.

Sans pretended to shoot him with finger guns, winking as miniature Gaster Blasters blew out white confetti from their maws.

Quickly slamming both palms onto the counter, Papyrus got up and ran out the door, letting out a high-pitched whistle of unbridled fury. Sans chuckled and leaned back, bringing Frisk over into his lap with a flick of the wrist.

"someone gotta take over lap duty, kid."

Frisk simply snuggled into his puffy blue coat with a smile, snapping back to attention as Grillby came out with an impressively-sized salad after a few minutes.

Sans leaned into the counter as Frisk dug into her meal. "you just had to say procreation, didja?"

Grillby shrugged. "Did you want me to explain the entire process to your brother? Besides, I'll have you know that I wasn't the one who utterly _destroyed_ four of my regulars. That's going on your tab big time."

"i thought you didn't like those guys."

Grillby took off his glasses to reveal tiny black beads, which he rolled just for drama. "I don't, but what kind of bartender trash-talks their clientele? Now I gotta deal with getting 'em out of here drunk _and_ injured."

Sans grinned. "you've seen tons of bar fights, grill. 'sides, you gotta admit that one was pretty awesome, right?"

Grillby stayed silent for a seconds, but nodded. "If I knew that you could've delivered a German suplex to a human twice your size earlier. maybe I would've asked you to get that seventh human soul yourself."

Grillby and Sans quickly turned their gaze to Frisk, who went white with the knowledge that Sans didn't actually need magic to dunk them.

"...Sorry, kid. Drink on the house?"

* * *

 **P/N:** YOU THOUGHT THAT THE HEART DAY CHAPTER WAS THE ONLY NOTE THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHOWS UP IN?! YOU WERE WRONG, BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE _EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES!_

 ***INSERT A PICTURE OF YOUR GAPING FACE AS YOU REALIZE THAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS SPOKEN THE TRUTH! THEN REPLACE IT WITH A SMILING PICTURE, AS SMILES ARE GREAT!***

I AM HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT I NOW HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB BEING NOTE SKELETON! WATCH AS I CONFOUND YOU WITH MY WIT! PUKE IN AMUSEMENT AS YOU EXIT THE ROLLER-COASTER OF GOOD TIMES THAT WAS THIS CHAPTER (EXCLUDING SANS' DISGUSTING PUN)! LET OUT A SIGH IN RELIEF AS SANS IS NO LONGER HERE TO TORMENT YOU!

 _ **s/n:** hey bro what's updog_

 **P/N: SANS OH MY GOD OF ALL PLACES WOULD YOU JUST LET ME HAVE THIS**

 _ **s/n:**_ _nah i genuinely wanna know_

 **P/N:** WELL I DON'T KNOW, WHAT IS UPDOG?!

 ** _s/n:_** _nothin' much, but thanks for askin' homie._

 **P/N:** **NO**


	24. Minisode 4: On the Run

"ASRIEL! I HAVE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT YOUR NUTRITION AND PROCURED THIS BOX OF SUGAR FLAKES AS YOU ASKED! FROM THE HIGHEST SHELF IN THE FARTHEST CORNER OF THIS STORE, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS BROUGHT YOU-"

Asriel cleared his throat, giving Papyrus a patient smile. "Papyrus, you do realize that cereal doesn't have asbestos _at all_ , right?"

Papyrus blinked and brought the box up to his face, staring at the label that said '100% Asbestos-Free! Tested with REAL KIDS!'.

"...BUT IT WAS TESTED AND ENJOYED BY REAL CHILDREN!"

"That's their tactics, see? They _tell_ you that children enjoyed the cereal, yes, but did you actually watch them eat it?"

Papyrus shook his head, eliciting a patient smile from Asriel.

"There you go. Papyrus, I hate to say this, but not everyone on Earth is a good person. There are a lot of Floweys on the surface, you know? But your optimism is really helpful, so I'm sure that you'll find some way to spread joy and cheer throughout the worl **Chara put it down.** "

Whipping around to look at him, Chara set the knife set back onto the shelf nervously and gave him a big grin.

"I-I wasn't planning on buying it, I just...wanted to make sure it was sealed. So nobody else would...uh...spill them."

Asriel walked over and gripped his hand firmly, dragging him back over to the cart. Chara groaned and went limp in his grasp, causing Asriel to let out an irritated huff and pick him up by the armpits.

"Asrieeeeeeeeeel...!"

"No buts, Chara, you know what mom said about the whole 'safety buddy' mechanic." Asriel gave him a sly smile. "Plus, I know you feel a sense of security when someone holds you."

Chara grumbled and relaxed into his grip slightly. It was at this time that Asriel noticed that Papyrus disappeared again, this time with Frisk missing as well.

"HUMAN, I HAVE BROUGHT YOU ANOTHER BOX OF NOT TEMMIE FLAKES WITH THE COUNSEL OF FRISK!"

Oh, there he was. Quickly focusing magic into his arms, Asriel lifted Chara is relative ease and moved him aside as Papyrus skidded to a halt, holding a box in one arm and Frisk in the other. "THIS ONE PROMISES THAT THERE ARE NO ADDED GEEMOS!"

Chara raised an eyebrow and looked at Asriel.

"It's another modern human thing, something about science. Think we should ask Sans?"

They turned to look at the short skeleton in deep sleep, nestled in-between a stack of paper towels. An employee, lifeless and mechanical, stacked more paper towels on top with a complete disregard for Sans' presence.

"...No."

"Suit yourself, I guess. We have to get moving anyway, Mom found this really good deal on eggs that's only for today."

Chara hummed as they traveled to the freezer section, casually checking out a package of raw beef before turning towards his brother with a wicked grin. "So I guess we better get... _cracking_ if we wanna get any for ourselves!"

It took Asriel a second to emote while Chara was hysterically laughing at his own joke.

"Oh," the goat child sarcastically moaned, throwing an arm over his eyes for flair. "You slay me, brother. Truly, you are the pun king this world so desperately needed."

A crash and Papyrus' scream echoed throughout the supermarket.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU STUPID DOG?! PETS AREN'T EVEN ALLOWED TO BE IN HERE, LET ALONE ONES AS ANNOYING AS YOU ARE- **OH NO! CATCH THAT CANINE, FRISK! THE INTEGRITY OF THOSE WICKED COOL SNOW GLOBES ARE IN DANGER!** "

A small white dog leaped over the shelves with Papyrus' detached leg in it's mouth, happily slobbering at Chara and running away in the opposite direction as it spotted Frisk sloppily rounding the corner.

"Why do these things always happen to us?"

Asriel answered with a shrug before picking up the carton of eggs and placing it in the cart.

Frisk ran up and threw her arms around both of them, earning a few head pats. She detached after a minute to resume the hunt, Papyrus hopping around the corner.

"H-HELLO, ASRIEL! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS DOING COMPLETELY FINE IN HIS HUNT FOR BREAKFAST FOODS! THE DOG WAS...AH...A PART IN MY PLAN TO CHALLENGE MYSELF!"

Asriel nodded, gripping the cart and slowly following Frisk's warpath. "Just be sure to leave the store with us in one piece, ok?"

"YES, CAPTAIN!"

Papyrus nimbly flipped over the freezers and out of sight, prompting Chara to bury his face into his hands.

"I'm not even going to say it."

"Say what?"

"You know...that thing those comedy protagonists say in order to artificially create more action."

"...What?"

Chara narrowed his eyes, not sure if his brother was leading him on or was just that oblivious. "For god's sa- 'what could possibly go wrong'?!"

"DOG NO! DOG, YOU CAN HAVE THE GREAT PAPYRUS' LEG, JUST PUT THE WEAPON DOWN! **WHY HAVE WE CHASED YOU INTO THE OUTDOOR SECTION?! RUN, HUMANS!** "

Papyrus' girly scream rang out as the telltale roaring of a chainsaw started, soon joined by the screams of other shoppers and the oblivious happy barking of a dog.

"This day blows."

"We can always splurge a little and buy those chocolate chip waffles you wanted."

"This day blows a little less."

* * *

Asgore was proud of himself today.

"Oh my, you all look so precious," he cooed to the row of freshly planted petunias, bending down to speak with them personally. "The neighbors might even come to our dinner parties with you little cuties out here!"

Toriel walked out at this moment, wearing a small smirk.

"My, you treat these flowers as if they are your own children."

"I do nurture and protect them like my own, so I suppose I could call them my children if I wished. Not yet, though, I don't want our actual children to think of me as, um, oh yes... a 'crazy cat lady', as they call it. But for plants."

Toriel snorted, imagining the great King of Monsters surrounded by twenty cats with a deliriously happy expression.

"Yes, 'tis I, King Asgore," he boomed in mock seriousness, rising to full height. "And my legion of adorable kitties. I have named this one...er...Felin- Felix."

Toriel laughed harder, and Asgore soon joined her. They sat down and traded jokes and puns for quite a while until some figures could be seen from the distance.

"I think the children are back with the groceries," Asgore remarked, wiping a tear from his eye. Toriel, getting out the last of her laughs, straightened out her dress and got up as well.

"HELLO GOAT PARENTS! I HAVE BROUGHT BACK THE ROYAL CHILDREN UNSCATHED! AND SANS!"

Asgore raised an eyebrow at the sight of Sans being carried in a plastic bag as though he were also groceries.

"Thank you for being responsible, Papyrus. Did anything interesting happen today, my children?"

Chara shrugged, Asriel shook his head, and Frisk suddenly blurted out, "A dog had a chainsaw. And he chased me and Papyrus around with it. And then we fought and spared it. It was really...cool."

"WAIT, WASN'T THE PLAN _NOT_ TO TELL THEM ABOUT THE ANNOYING MUTT?"

Frisk's stared blankly at him before her eyebrows scrunched together in thought. She either didn't notice or outright ignored Toriel narrowing her eyes, causing Asgore to take a cautionary step back and the rest of the children to not-so-subtly send her hand signals to cut it out.

"...Um."

 **"You were near sharp objects?!"**

"T-THE GREAT PAPYRUS MUST IRON HIS TOENAILS! TO THE GREAT PAPYRUSMOBILE, EVERYONE!"

Papyrus scooped up all three children and began running. He let out a shrill shriek as he heard stomping behind him, the temperature in the air rapidly rising.

It was at this time Sans decided to wake up, noticing that he was currently double-bagged with a gallon of milk and, more alluringly, bottles of ketchup.

"welp, guess you got this situation _in the bag_."

"OH MY GOD, SANS, IF I WASN'T CARRYING THE CHILDREN RIGHT NOW I WOULD SMACK YOU SILLY!"

A small fireball in the shape of a fist whizzed past Papyrus' head, causing him to double his current speed and resume screaming.

* * *

Napstablook was in the process of creating a new mixtape when a fireball hit his window. Slowly floating over, he spotted Papyrus running towards his direction.

"oh...he's coming this way...maybe...maybe..."

The tiny ghost started crying, his tears floating upwards to open the windowsill.

"hi...pap-"

"HELLONAPSTABLOOKITSBEENALONGTIMEWECANHANGLATERSORRYFRIEND"

Just like that, Papyrus was gone.

"oh...it's ok..."

Napstablook began crying for entirely different reasons.

"nobody wanted to see me in this chapter anyway...oh, I'm sorry...I keep inflating the word count...ohhhhh... **...** _..._ "

He disappeared, leaving his own house empty.

* * *

 **A/N:** MY WORK

MY SCHEDULE

 **MY DREAMS**


	25. A CHAPTER

"HUMAN! YOU MUST NOT GIVE UP! STAY DETERMINED!"

The human groaned, almost melding with his computer chair to form a lazy, horrifying amalgamate. The chair was quite possibly the cleanest thing in the room, as the table was covered in various paperwork and the floor was littered with everything from articles of clothing to video games and consoles.

"B-But scho-"

"BUT NOTHING! ALSO, DO NOT TALK ABOUT BUTTS IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN, YOUNG MAN!"

Papyrus pointed to the royal children in the center of the room, Chara and Asriel idly rummaging through the junk while Frisk raided the mini-fridge.

"What are we even _doing_ in this smelly, dumb place?" Chara remarked, looking at an old handheld console as tough as a brick. "It smells like nacho cheese and regret here."

"Hey, not everyone can afford to plug in air fresheners every day. Also," Asriel bopped Chara on the nose with two furry fingers, causing the boy to turn away and sneeze. "That's rude."

"LET US NOT GET OFF TOPIC! HUMAN, YOU WILL WORK ON YOUR WEIRD ANIME STORY...WITH THE HELP OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"

The human turned to glance at Papyrus with a curious expression. "How is this supposed to work, again? Also, Undertale isn't an ani-"

"ANYTHING IS AN ANIME IF YOU BELIEVE, HUMAN!"

"...Anything?"

Papyrus slid over to the human's face, leaning in close with a serious expression. " _ANYTHING."_

Without warning, Papyrus lifted up the human with both arms ( _"I'M NOT FAT, PAPYRUS!" "OK BUT LET'S BE HONEST WITH OURSELVES, YOU COULD LOSE A LITTLE WEIGHT."_ ) and placed him onto the bed. Promptly running back over, Papyrus jumped into the computer chair and rolled forward.

"I SEE THERE IS GENIUS IN THE MAKING! THEREFORE, AS YOUR FRIEND AND WRITING BUDDY, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL FINISH IT FOR YOU!"

The human started sweating. "Finish it...for me? Uh, no, that's...Papyrus, all I need is a little time and rest and-"

"YOU HAVE BEEN USING THAT EXCUSE FOR...MAYHAPS A WEEK OR SO! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL NOT STAND FOR SUCH LAZING ABOUT!"

The human groaned, but said nothing in response as he got settled in the small cot. The human did not notice the blanket being stolen by Frisk, who had curled up in the opposite side as quiet as a mouse.

"Ok, you win. Go wild, my knight in shining armor."

With a quiet "nyeh heh heh", Papyrus flexed his fingers and began to bang out A THRILLING NARRATIVE THAT WILL KEEP YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS

* * *

AUTHOR (ME) NOTE- HELLO READERS IT IS I

THE GREAT PAHUMAN WRITER MAN

I SHALL BE BRINGING YOU A FANTASTIC CHAPTER STARRING THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND MAYBE BUT NOT PROBABLY SANS IN A LITTLE WHILE

LIFE HAS BEEN VERY HARDER, BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT I HAVE BEEN THE HARDEST. IN LIVING.

ALSO THERE IS A DOT BUTTON THAT SEPERATES WORD THINGS. THATS NEATO.

WHAT DOES THis button do


	26. ANOTHER CHAPTER I THINK

MY NOTE: HELLO READER FRIENDS, IT IS I, THE GREAT WRITER MAN

I HAVE RELEARNED A LOT ABOUT THE COMPUTER! I SAY RELEARNED BECAUSE I ALREADY KNEW WHAT TO DO, BUT WAS TESTING YOU!

HERE IS A CHAPTER THING! REMEMBER, YOU'RE ALL WONDERFUL!

* * *

ONCE UPON A TIME THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS DOING 10 JOGS AROUND THE GYMNASIUM BECAUSE HE WAS SUPER BUFF AND COOL.

"OH GEE WILLIES, I LOVE JOGGING AROUND THIS PARTICULAR BUILDING 10 TIMES" HE EXCLAIMED, PUFFING OUT HIS ROCK HARD RIBS. BONES GLISTENING IN THE SETTING SUN, THE GREAT PAPYRUS'S PRESENCE MADE A BUNCH OF HUMANS COME OUT OF THE TREES TO GIVE HIM AUTOGRAPHS. AND HIGH FIVES.

"HELP!" A FAIR MAIDEN YELLED AS SHE SLAPPED THE GREAT PAPYRUS FIVE. "THERE IS A BIG SCARY DRAGON ATTACKING MY FARM THAT IS BIG AND SCARY!"

NO NEED TO REPEAT YOUR WORD SCROLLING AGAIN, READER

I HAVE INDEED INSERTED A DRAGON INTO THIS STORY. ONLY THE GREATEST OF FOES FOR THE GREATEST OF HEROES!

"OH NO" THE GREAT PAPYRUS SAID WITH A LOT OF DRAMA "THAT BULLY! NEVER FEAR, HUMAN, THE GREA TPAPYRUS IS MORE THAN WILLING TO ASSIST YOU I

* * *

NOTE TO FUTURE GREAT PAPYRUS I SAVED HERE ON PURPOSE SO KEEP WRITING TOMORROW AFTER YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP

-PAST PAPYRUS :)

* * *

note to future great papyrus don't leave your account open at 2:30 pm nerd

-sans

* * *

"oh no," the great papyrus cried, "whatever will i do without my fearless leader guy?"

suddenly, everything smelled like ketchup, which was pretty cool.

and then sans teleported in, which was better than pretty cool.

"hey fellas," sans said. "i heard you were... _dragon_ your heads through the dirt thinkin' about how to beat this dragon guy."

everybody laughed at his neat pun, including papyrus, who laughed the hardest and told sans how much he loved him and how much of a good brother he was and how much the past was behind him and that he could finally breathe again because everything is fine and the anomaly is happy and

* * *

Sans

I read it all

Lets talk

I promise everyhting is ok now

I didn't know

I love you

I'm sorry

I love you so much

-Frisk

* * *

WOWIE

I THOUGHT I TOLD AUTHOR MAN NOT TO WRITE SAD THINGS ANYMORE

I MEAN I THOUGHT I TOLD ME NOT TO WRITE SAD THINGS ANYMORE

PAUSE

SO I WANT TO BE ABSOLUTELY DAPSOLUTELY CLEAR WITH YOU GUYS

I'M WORRIED.

SANS IS AVOIDING PAPYRUS AND HE'S NOT COMING OUT OF HIS ROOM BECAUSE I CHECKED

I DON'T KNOW WHERE FRISK IS EITHER MAYBE SHE IS WITH HIM?

SANS IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I DO LOVE YOU

-THE GREAT PAPYRUS


	27. Dual Support

Papyrus was going to bake a pie.

Important to note is that this was going to be no ordinary pie. This pie will be made with the loving embrace of a tiger, with the expertise of eighteen veteran chefs taped together, with the form of a graceful swan taking dance classes during midday.

"YEAH, THAT WAS A COOL ANALOGY! NYEH HEH HEH! NOW IT'S TIME TO...AH...

...

...GO ON THE INTERNET AND FIND A PIE RECIPE!"

Papyrus ran up the stairs and hurried back to his room, stopping to press his skull gently to the door of Sans' room. Finding silence for the eighth time that day, Papyrus drooped slightly but nevertheless remained determined.

This pie was going to make his brother smile again. A real smile, nothing like the slightly unnerving smile that was always on his face.

Watching the old computer whir and sputter to life, Papyrus idly wondered if you could stuff pie with spaghetti. A godly chef deserves a godly pastry, after all.

* * *

"so yeah, that's why i'm here. sorry, kid, i didn't mean to worry you. i just..."

Putting a finger to his teeth, Frisk shifted over and draped a hand over Sans' stomach, leaning her head on his chest with a comfortable sigh. Sans shook his head and chuckled, lazily throwing an arm over her back.

"were you always this much of a shameless flirt? come on now, you're not even my type."

"Funny, you haven't seen yourself drunk. Remember when you called me a 'sexy little campfire' and threw up on my bar stools, skeleton?"

Grillby did his best to look like he was raising an eyebrow, causing Sans to lightly blush and look away. Frisk uncharacteristically snorted, worsening Sans' blush.

"that's why i stopped excess drinkin', grillmeister. i gotta instill good values into this generation," Sans said, ruffling Frisk's hair. The girl raised an eyebrow at him, almost daring him to explain what those 'good values' are.

"And I suppose your last visit was filled with moral justice too, right? That was rhetorical by the way, I'm off to cook your orders."

Sans sighed as Grillby walked away. "oh he _totally_ knows that i needed to dunk those guys for papyrus. right, kiddo?"

Frisk stuck her tongue at him, Sans gasping in mock horror. Grabbing a napkin and dabbing at his forehead, Sans' put on his best dramatic voice.

"you were a traitor all along, frisky?! very well then, you leave me no choice. capital punishment, coming your way."

Sans grabbed Frisk's cheeks and lightly pulled, causing her to mumble in irritation and lightly slap his hand. Having never really touched skin before, Sans quickly became more fascinated than playful. It was soft, nothing like bone, and it smelt like...peaches. _no wait,_ he mused. _that's just shampoo. humans waste all kinds 'a good stuff on frilly junk._

Frisk finally summoned the willpower to throw Sans off, puffing her cheeks out in annoyance. Grillby's flames crackled in amusement as he came over with their burgers.

"Watch that look, kid. I'll have you know that my patrons don't appreciate an angry gerbil near their drinks."

They stared at him.

He stared back.

He was filled with smug happiness as Sans started hysterically laughing, Frisk pouting and turning away.

* * *

{So do you understand, my son? Cooking is like a science; methodical, rewarding, and as the children today say, 'totally radical'.}

Gaster smiled as Papyrus' eyes lit up. While he was understandably rusty, Gaster had vivid details of baking with Toriel during his time as the Royal Scientist, and he was certain that there were no other monsters that knew her fabled pie recipe.

"OOH, I KNOW THIS PIE IS GOING TO END UP AS FABULOUS AS METTATON'S FACE! WHAT SHOULD WE START WITH?"

{Is the oven preheated?}

"INDEED, FATHER! I HAVE PREHEATED IT AT THREE HUNDRED-FIFTY DEGREES FAHRENHEIT, JUST AS YOU ASKED!"

Gaster nodded and smiled. {Excellent, my child. Now place the butter in our baby sauce pot and we shall heat it.}

"OKAY!"

Peeling off the plastic wrap on the stick of butter, Papyrus tossed it into the pot and placed it onto the stove.

"NOW THEN, IF UNDYNE HAD TAUGHT ME ANYTHING, SETTING THE STOVE TO MAXIMUM HEAT WILL PRODUCE MAXIMUM FLAVOR!"

Gaster raised an eyebrow, but was not that surprised at Undyne's advice. {Are you...sure?}

"SURE I'M SURE THAT UNDYNE IS SURE!"

{...Alright then. While you are doing that, I shall grab towels and a moist wipes.}

Papyrus turned to look at him, confusion etched into his skull. "WAIT, WHY?"

{The...recipe said so. The cinnamon will feel grateful for the precautionary cleaning measures, you see.}

"OH!" Papyrus facepalmed as if he knew the entire time. "THAT MAKES SENSE! THANKS, DAD!"

Gaster nodded and walked away, trying desperately not to laugh at the sheer absurdity of what he just said.

* * *

"and then i said 'i only got a _cup_ ple of puns, pap'!"

Frisk slapped the table as she started laughing again, hiccuping. Sans chuckled heartily and pulled her in for a hug, patting her on the back a few times.

Grillby huffed, but continued to clean to clean the glass. It was now early evening, which means that his regulars were filing in and ordering drinks aplenty. For some odd reason, one-fourth of the entire bar stayed well away from Sans and Frisk's booth.

"That one was terrible and you know it!"

"you're smiling!"

"I'm actually not!"

"well at the very least, frisk is laughing at it!"

"Pity laughs, you old bag of bones!"

Grillby finally allowed himself to laugh as they exchanged witty banter, the bar soon erupting into merriment and good times. Frisk, in the middle of delivering witty puns and eating, smiled internally as her plan worked.

* * *

"OH MY GOD IT'S **BEAUTIFUL!** "

Half of the kitchen was on fire.

{...Hmm. You're actually right, that is one decent looking pie.}

* * *

Sans wiped away a tear from his socket as Frisk gasped for breath.

"alright...ok...we should...heheheh...we should head back home now. we gotta read _fluffy bunny files his taxes_ for papyrus, 'member?"

Frisk nodded, crawling over Sans to hop out of the booth. Sans, feeling lazy, teleported out and stumbled a bit, feeling his legs creak slightly.

"hey, thanks for tonight, grill! i really feel a lot better, y'know?"

Grillby waved it off, but his flames crackled in the approximation of a smile. "Anytime. As long as you bring the kid with you, you're mildly bearable."

Sans chuckled as he walked towards the door. "you wound me, old man. alright kiddo, let's blow this popsicle stand and maybe get some nice cream for dessert at home."

Frisk grabbed his hand, smiling up at him. "We have a tub at home...?"

"yep, stashed it away for a special moment. cookies and cream, basically the best flavor ever."

Sans allowed himself a high five as they continued walking, feeling the cool breeze and the moonlight on his skull.

The surface was indeed a dream come true.

* * *

"YOU GO DAD! DOLLOP THAT NICE CREAM ON TOP!"

Gaster hid his excitement as he plopped the scoop of Nice Cream on the pie. Straying off the intended path, blatantly ignoring instructions given to them by a wiser cook...

He was filled with **DETERMINATION**.

* * *

Sans and Frisk stared dumbly at the house, smoke billowing out the side window. His brother's laughter could be faintly heard, assuring the shorter skeleton that his brother was at least fine.

"...Nice cream postponed?"

"...yup. alright, on my six, we're gonna investigate."

Sans lightly grasped Frisk's shirt as he teleported into the house, immediately smelling smoke and...cinnamon?

"wait, did he..."

"DID _THEY_ BAKE YOU THIS ULTRA COOL PIE? WE SURE DID!"

Papyrus slid out of the kitchen with the slice of butterscotch cinnamon pie in hand. Nice cream was applied liberally on top, large pieces of cookie sticking out of the scoops. Gaster walked out from behind him, smiling brightly.

{Indeed. Papyrus called me saying you weren't feeling too well and suggested we cook. I am pleased to say that I had...fun.}

Sans smiled as his brother bent down and handed him the slice, which smelled surprisingly appetizing. Frisk in particular was interested in the slice, wondering if she'd have a bad time if she stole it.

"thank you guys, really. see, i teleported to grillby's to go sulk and eat and come back and still feel like garbage, but frisk made it there. she taught me a valuable lesson today."

Sans took in a breath, completely unaware of Frisk sliding up to his side.

"i don't...need to live in the past. i don't need to wake up every day fearing for my life, your lives, the kid's life. i was so utterly... _absorbed_...in my own worries that i didn't notice the...just all the love and compassion you guys have been heapin' all over me. it's...it's amazin'. you guys just never gave up hope."

Sans' smile widened. Frisk chewed quietly, staring in awe at the information popping up to her.

 **SANS  
HP: 1/10**

"and i realized...i shouldn't either. i shouldn't be a selfish, lazy bum...well, maybe not selfish. i love you guys, and i need you to know it every day and every night. so i'll eat this pie, but it isn't the pie that's important. what's really important is you guys and the fact that **oh my god frisk ate the entire thing including the cinnamon sticks already what** "

Papyrus burst out laughing as Frisk stopped mid-chew, producing a single cinnamon stick that she stuck into Sans' open palm.

"...Shorry. 'Ae th' o'er."

Gaster shook his head chuckling. {Well, at least your impassioned speech was the important thing, son.}

Sans continued to stare blankly at Frisk for another minute before blinking. Sighing, he ruffled her hair.

"my point still stands. i'm happy, i'm surrounded by people who love me, and i sure as heck love 'em back. onto something more important...why was the kitchen on fire?"

"I SET THE OVEN TO 'HYPERDEATH' FOR MAXIMUM FLAVORITUDE, OF COURSE!"

Sans stared at him.

Papyrus continued to extol his cooking skills and ripped muscles as Gaster facepalmed to hide his smile.

"god, i love my family."

* * *

Asriel and Chara lie next to each other, staring at the individual dust particles float around in the breeze. Writer Human typed away vigorously, occasionally stealing awkward glances towards them.

"Shouldn't you guys...ah...go?"

Asriel scratched his head. "Probably. But the thing is...we don't know how. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't, but..."

Chara snuggled into the large hoodie laying on the floor, distorting the emblem of a school on it. "I could stay here for a while. There's more nerdy junk in here than in the Garbage Dump."

"Hey, i-it's not nerdy junk..."

Chara dug around and pulled out the box of a video game. "Then what is a game where "armies clash as the world burns", "commanding your army against the armies of kingdoms, empires and the dead themselves", all that?"

Writer Human lightly blushed and looked away. "C'mon, you don't think reading that out loud is cool?"

"...Point. Where's the game machine that plays this?"

* * *

 **A/N:** I should probably not be writing this with a busy schedule. Whoops.


	28. Obligatory April Fool's Chapter

"HUMAN!"

Letting out a sigh, Chara took out his earbuds and turned to look at Papyrus.

"Yes, dear?"

Papyrus stifled a laugh, causing Chara to raise an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong, or...?"

 **"DARUDE SANDSTORM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"**

Papyrus ran out of the room maniacally cackling as Chara let out an agonized, quiet scream.

"For the _last time_ , Papyrus, spouting some old, dumb meme doesn't count as an April Fools Day prank! 'Nyeh heh heh, I'm Papyrus and I love to say non sequiturs because it's **funny! L-O-L CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER, PAPYRUS? IS THAT** ** _FUNNY?! NOBODY IS LAUGHING WHEN-_** "

Frisk lightly karate-chopped the back of his head, causing the fallen child to immediately lose steam and turn around to face her, passionately sputtering a garbled mix of curses and excuses.

"...Stop it."

Chara stared at her.

She stared back, eventually tugging on his sleeve to follow.

"Come. Let's try something out."

* * *

Sans teleported into his room, laughing and wheezing at the same time. Collapsing onto the bed, he let out a contented sigh and stretched.

He had just committed the greatest April Fools Day prank ever, and he figured that Undyne would probably never forgive him for the epic smackdown he gave her and Alphys.

Getting up to grab a bottle of ketchup from his desk, Sans finally looked down at the floor to find two previously invisible occupants.

"kid? kiddo? why're you two giving my ceiling the googly eyes? you're not gonna date it too, right?"

"Shut up, Sans," Chara muttered, unblinking. "We're lying on your floor to feel like complete trash. _And it's working._ "

"Yeah, remember Nappy's house?" Frisk whispered, the stars reflected in pupils.

Sans stared at them before sighing and shaking his head. Pulling the ketchup bottle over with blue magic, he chugged the entire thing in one swig and tossed it into the trash can, hearing the sound of a stadium buzzer out of nowhere.

"welp, ya can't just barge in on a self-respecting skeleton's room. c'mon, i'll help you out."

Holding out his hand, Sans stifled a laugh.

Chara snapped out his peaceful trance to give Sans a glare that shook the heavens.

He took his hand.

"Oh wait, there's a-"

 ***PHHHHHHBLTTTTTTTT***

Sans let out a triumphant laugh as he threw an arm around Chara's shoulder, grin magnified to almost impossible levels.

"geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet dunked on! april fools day is my spirit holiday, ya big nerd!"

Immediately slapping on a pair of thick sunglasses, Sans teleported to his left to give Frisk a high-five.

Chara blinked, mouth a neutral line. Slipping out of his grasp, he walked over to an empty space and slowly lay down on his side, drawing his legs into his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

* * *

 **A/N:** Seriously though, every April Fools my friends either have genuinely mediocre jokes or make me want to preemptively sign myself up for prison lest I do something drastic.


	29. ACCOUNT UPDATE LADS

Hey there fellas, I didn't die.

With all this work piled on my desk, I kinda wish I did. Ghosts don't need to sleep, eat or pay taxes, you know.

In any case, I think it's high time I set some sort of schedule for myself (but more importantly for you guys, because I'd be nobody if you guys didn't show up and tolerate my dumb stories). I decided to announce this change on my largest story, so you Bonetrousle fans get to know all about it firsthand. Yay you guys.

Now time to begin the pathetic self-pity part of this update.

I'm really tired and stressed out from the last couple of weeks, and the looming thoughts of 'I need to update my stories or people will get really mad or bored' are **not** helping. Life is catching up quick, and writing is becoming a non-option during _many_ weekdays.

So I've decided to write and upload on the weekends. I think this works out for everyone, since I get to take it slightly easier, you guys get more time to check out what fluff filler I've decided to churn out while secretly writing Papyrus in as a reptilian spy from Sector-72 the entire time, and everyone else sits around awkwardly still wondering why I haven't updated some stories in like 5 months.

These rules are subject to change, maybe I'll upload slightly earlier, slightly later, update a story that isn't Bonetrousle or just not at all for that weekend and give you guys the opportunity to deck me across the face for not being good at time management. In any case, I don't want to make it look like I'm sitting around on my throne doing nothing while you guys are left in the dark.

If you guys have any questions, leave a review and I'll check 'em all out soon.

\- Beanus, guy who regularly disappoints himself while melting into his office chair.


	30. Road Trip Pt I

Papyrus busted out of his house positively glowing, carrying a large bag in one hand.

"SMELL THAT, BROTHER? THAT IS THE SMELL OF PETROL! OH, AND ADVENTURE!"

Sans teleported next to him, wearing a baby carrier with a smooth stone tucked securely inside. Handing his one plastic bag full of wrapped burgers over to his brother, he mentally cringed as he watched Papyrus toss them over the 1919 Ford Model T Coupe and into a garbage bin.

"we can't smell anything at all, pap."

"OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! THIS IS THE FIRST ROAD TRIP WE'RE GOING ON IN OUR ENTIRE UNLIVES!"

"pap, we're only going to the local community college to see king fluffybuns get a paper thing...i think."

"IT IS NOT A _**PAPER THING**_ , BROTHER, IT IS THE PINNACLE OF EDUCATION! A CERTIFICATE OF MASTERY IN THE ART OF KNOWLEDGITUDE! AH...UM...IT'S REALLY COOL TO HANG ABOVE THE FIREPLACE!"

Sans raised his hands up in a surrendering motion. "sorry, sorry."

"ALL IS FORGIVEN, DEAR BROTHER! NOW THEN, FRISK! **FRISK, ARE YOU READY FOR OUR ROAD TRIP EXTRAORDINAIRE?!** "

The door opened to reveal a familiar patch of messy brown hair. Running out after closing the door behind her, Frisk nodded as she slowed in front of Papyrus.

"DID YOU PACK GREASE-FREE SNACKS AND BEVERAGES?"

She nodded.

"DID YOU PACK YOUR GAME SYSTEM? WE MUST THANK WRITER HUMAN LATER..."

She nodded.

"THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION!" Papyrus bent down to meet her at eye level. "DID YOU USE THE POTTY?"

She nodded.

 _geez, who needs tori when you got my brother,_ Sans mused as he watched him fuss over Frisk for a few more minutes. He turned around to hop into the left side of the car, instantly reclining into the authentic leather seats.

"callin' left cheek," he called out, gaining Papyrus and Frisk's attention.

"SANS!"

Frisk giggled, but tilted her head as she walked up to Sans.

"why am i back here? well, ain't it obvious, bucko? you're gonna be in the middle, which everyone knows is the _most_ important seat in a tiny car."

She dived into Sans' chest with an excited squeal, earning a few hearty chuckles.

"yeah, i know i'm wicked cool."

"BROTHER! YOU'RE SUFFOCATING OUR PET ROCK, WHO IS _SUPPOSED_ TO BE TAKING RIGHT CHEEK WITH ME! FRISK, PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OUR VERTICALLY-INCLINED PASSENGER!"

Frisk broke off and crawled next to Sans as Papyrus got in the driver's seat. The vintage machine sputtered to life with noises almost straight out of a cartoon, and the trio sped off from the driveway.

* * *

The wind was howling as the Model T made its way down the highway, a pleasant breeze alleviating the otherwise scorching sun. The straps of the large bag flapped around in the wind, while the rope tying it to the roof dangled in a more dangerous fashion.

It was especially dangerous considering the cargo.

The bag's main pocket unzipped itself, revealing a slightly paler Chara. Taking a breath, the ex-fallen child let out a triumphant giggle.

"I knew speedrunning Dishonored would come in handy..."

Asriel peeked out next to him, bleating contentedly at the sun on his skin and breeze in his fur.

"T-This is a little scary, but at least the bag is secure...and Papyrus somehow managed to miss us when he was tying the bag..."

Chara scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You've been practicing magic, Azzie. Didn't you learn how to grow plants recently? You could just make us a big flower trampoline and we'd be fine."

Asriel smiled. "Y-Yeah, I could. It's a little ironic using life magic like that, I know, but...seeing them bloom into such beautiful children..."

"Children...? Jesus, Azzie, you sound just like Mama."

The goat child blushed. "It's true! At least I don't feed and name the ducks at the park," Asriel looked Chara in the eye, "like **_some_** people I know!"

The brothers continued to quietly bicker as the car made it's way off the highway, the sign above pointing cars to a municipality by the name of Derry Township.

* * *

"Next up is... _ahem_...His High Majesty, Sir Asgore the Merciful!"

Applause rang out as Asgore bashfully shuffled over to the stage, gently taking his diploma from the shorter human and shaking his hand. A beautiful yet ornate stained-glass window cast a golden light over the king, making him seem even more imposing than normal.

"Now then, Asgore, is there any thanks you'd like to give to our audience today?"

Asgore nodded and trudged over to the mic, tugging at his gown's collar.

"First and foremost, I would like to thank my wife for all the support and love she has given to me through my educational journey. Thank you, Toriel, I love you so very much."

The audience burst into more notably energetic applause as Toriel blushed and turned away.

"I would then like to thank my children, Asriel, Chara, and Frisk. They are my little balls of sunshine, and their value is greater than any worthless knick-knack I'll ever own. If only...they were here..."

Muted applause. Even Toriel seemed to droop a little at the thought of Papyrus and Sans running late.

She didn't have the heart to tell him that Chara and Asriel...disappeared.

* * *

 **"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WE'VE MADE IT TO HERSHEYPARK'?!"  
**

Papyrus' right eye burned a brilliant orange as he stared at his brother, who looked as calm and lazy as ever. If either of them were of the right mind, they'd notice that in front of the car a familiar green-and-yellow clad child had jumped off the roof and ran into the park laughing excitedly.

"wait, where we going again?"

Papyrus ignored him, glancing at the map. **"OH MY GO- WE'RE IN _PENNSYLVANIA_?!"**

"hey paps, think we have time to stop by pete's crab house?"

 **"SANS!"**

Frisk subtly unbuckled her seat belt, followed by an unsubtle dive over Sans and out of the car, where she ran after Asriel and Chara.

"ok, ok. i _might_ have made a tiny error in following the map."

Papyrus pointed to the mark in question, where a pencil line neatly followed the route to the community college...until abruptly stopping and slanting downward, cutting through several counties and stopping in Pennsylvania.

"ok, ok. i _might_ have fallen asleep there. and maybe there. ooh, i woulda loved to go visit that museum, definitely made a mistake there-"

 **"S̩͚̹͕̙͟Á̵̼̥͖̳Ń͔̞̬͟͢ͅS͔̲͕̼͈̥"**

* * *

Toriel was busy wringing her hands for the fourteenth time before her cellphone rang, where she almost dived for it.

"H-Hello...? **My child! Asriel!** "

Asgore perked up instantly, taking off his graduation cap and running into the kitchen, putting his hands softly on his wife's shoulders as she sat down.

"Where are you right now? Wait...Hershey...Park? Where is this? **Pennsylvania?!** I-In a few hours...how?! Sans gave direct...oh...Chara is enjoying himself immensely, you say?"

Toriel abruptly snorted and covered her mouth, causing Asgore to give her a look crossed between confusion and amusement.

"You had to purchase a child leash for your own brother, son?"

He covered his mouth to avoid laughing out loud. Already, Asgore felt himself let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Well, I do not like the fact that you are so far away from us, but I'm glad you're enjoying yourselves. How is Sans and Papyrus, by the way? Ah...still 'talking'? I hope Sans is ok...well, be sure to come back before dinner, ok? Oh, yes, your father is here. You'd like to talk to him? Here you are."

Toriel passed the phone to Asgore, who gladly received it.

"I heard it all, young man. Hoho, you're having quite the adventure! Have you eaten? Ok, that's good. Do you need to go use the potty...? Nonsense, Asriel, grown men can use the term 'potty' if they want! You used to love it!"

Toriel sighed and rolled her eyes as memories of an infant Asriel clouded her vision.

"Anyway, I don't want to keep you up. This old man is very tired after all, as the ceremony took hours. Oh, don't be upset, it was incredibly boring. I could've fallen asleep on stage, hohoho! Yes, yes, I love you too! Of course, Tori knows you love her too, we all do! Ok, I will be catching you later!"

Asgore tapped the phone once to hang up.

"Well," Toriel began, putting down her teacup. "I suppose we're alone for a few hours."

"Yes, I suppose we are."

"It's been quite long since we've done... **it** , wouldn't you say?"

Asgore blushed, turning away. "I feel so dirty when you describe it as...well, _that._ "

Toriel gave him a playful smirk as she got up. "The children aren't home to witness, we're absolutely safe."

"...I trust you, Tori. It might even be as fun as last time."

"Excellent, I'll get out the...gear."

Toriel walked out of the room as Asgore suppressed an excited grin.

* * *

"Ahaha, take that!"

Asgore threw down his wheel and groaned as his kart was knocked around, letting several others pass by him.

"No, I was in first place! You should not even be able to throw turtle shells that perfectly curve towards me!"

Asgore groaned as Toriel sped past him in her smaller kart, crossing the finish line and completing the race.

"I think the children would say that you have become 'wrecked', my husband!"

The former king snorted, picking up the Wii wheel once again. "Little do you know that I have not brought out my ultimate weapon!"

"Oh, is it a bigger and quite unwieldy kart?"

"No, the Jet Setter! Prepare to be 'biting the dust', Toriel!"

"It's on!"

* * *

 **A/N:** My personal surface canon is that Toriel and Asgore totally duke it out in child-friendly video games when no one is watching while thinking that it's hip.

Also, I'm sorry if this took forever, I just didn't have the drive to write for a while. I thought it was a pretty fun chapter to write though, you guys be the judge!

You know the drill, leave a review if you liked it/disliked it and I'll definitely read it! See you guys hopefully sooner!

Also, the rock does reappear for a greater purpose. You've been spoiled, nyeh heh!


	31. Road Trip Pt II

"GREAT, GREAT! THANK YOU, BROTHER, FOR THE FABULOUS DIRECTIONS TO A PARK ABOUT **CHOCOLATE.** "

Papyrus watched as Sans casually stuck his finger into the door lock and wiggled it open, and if he was in a better mood he'd be excitedly swooning over how nice the room looked. Stomping over to the bedroom, Papyrus' demeanor completely changed as he tucked in the sleeping children with quick precision and turned out the light.

"hey now, a point in my court is that the kiddies really enjoyed themselves today. heck, this totally covers vacation plans for the year!"

Papyrus glared at his brother, who had already collapsed into an armchair with a satisfied groan. "I WILL SUBTRACT THAT POINT, THEN, AS WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO RETURN HOME UNTIL TOMORROW EVENING! DO YOU KNOW HOW UPSET THE ROYAL PARENTS WILL BE? THEY'LL MAYBE CRY, SANS! AND IT'LL MAYBE BE YOUR FAULT!"

"you're overreacting now 'cuz you're grumpy."

"WELL...GAH, FINE! MAYBE THERE _IS_ SOMETHING TO DO HERE..."

Sans' smile broadened as an idea popped into his skull.

"well, there's this fancy restaurant right down the road that serves italian cuisine. yo, let's head down there and compare their spaghetti to yours, bro. maybe it'll turn into a pasta showdown."

Papyrus scratched his chin before shaking his head. "IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL, BUT WE MUST CARE FOR THE CHILDREN. ALTHOUGH SKELETONS DO NOT NEED MANY SLEEP HOURS, I HEAR THAT OTHER CREATURES STAY VULNERABLE FOR OVER EIGHT OR SO HOURS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE COULD HAPPEN IN EIGHT OR SO HOURS? BURGLARS COULD SWOOP IN AND...ERR...BURGLARIZE THE ROOM!"

"i mean, we are lockin' pretty much everything and leavin' a note. but hey, if you need any further persuasion...herbert will watch them."

Sans pulled out their smooth pet rock from his pocket and placed it on the coffee table with a solid _clack_.

"see? look at that expression etched into his mug, he knows what he has to do. this is a good breed we picked out, paps."

"WELL...GAH, OK! ONE MORE THING, THEN."

Papyrus leaned down to inspect the rock, raising a socket as he slowly shuffled around the stone in a circle. Pulling out a shaker full of sprinkles, Papyrus liberally covered the rock in rainbow sprinkles before stepping back with a satisfied grin.

"PERFECT! A FULL SENTRY IS A HAPPY SENTRY! LETS GO!"

The skeletons briskly walked out of the suite and locked the door behind them, leaving it quiet save for the sound of quiet snoring.

The rock then began glowing, taking in energy from the surrounding air. Levitating off the now fully absorbed coffee table, the rock was encased in a large cocoon of pure light as the humming grew in volume. After a full minute of pulling furniture inside to fuel it's growth, the cocoon rapidly grew cracks until the light died down, leaving the white pieces to slowly flake away as the deteriorating shell lowered itself onto the ground.

A young woman laid on the ground, looking to be in her early twenties. Snow white hair covered her hair, it's near impossible length cascading down her body in strategic (and fairly illogical) areas. A mark which looked to be a child's drawing of a crescent moon was on her forehead, which glowed a bright yellow. Opening her eyes to reveal clear blue irises, the woman brought her hands to her chest and looked around, breathing in deeply.

"...Oh," she stated flatly. "I guess this is ok."

* * *

"Sir!"

A young man in a uniform stood to attention, saluting stiffly to a video screen. A perfectly round circle on his forehead flashed orange and yellow, betraying his true feelings.

"An intense surge of energy was documented on Earth, Dimension 1A, Subsect 72! The same surge of energy that comes from Selenian birth! W-We think that-"

"She's assumed her true form."

The elderly man on the screen let out a chilling yet regal laugh, one befitting a monarch so old.

 **"Finally."**

* * *

Sans breathlessly chuckled as he fiddled with the door lock. Papyrus did not share his humor, however, and opted to keep his hands busy lest they find themselves in his brother's skull.

"SANS, FOR THE LAST TIME, ASSAULTING THE CHEFS WITH COOKING-THEMED PUNS TO THE POINT WHERE ONE OF THEM _BROKE DOWN AND **CRIED**_ IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT! THAT'S TERRIBLE! YOU'RE TERRIBLE! YOUR PUNS ARE THOSE TERRIBLES COMBINED!"

"b-but...but he called _*snrk*_ h-he called me a 'doody'... _pffffffft-_ "

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, BROTHER, GROW UP!" Papyrus groaned as he opened the door. "HONESTLY, DO I NEED TO THROW YOU BACK INTO MONS...TER..."

Sans looked up at his brother, who had strangely gone silent. His jaw was slack, and he seemed to be staring at something specific.

"bro?"

He moved around him, soon adopting an expression similar to his brother's.

An naked human was simply sitting outside the bedroom door...watching. Watching the kids as they slept. Her face was passive, not bored, but...Sans wracked his mind to try and find an appropriate analogy.

 _it's like staring at a brick wall. and the wall is staring back._

"...SANS, THERE IS A PERVERT IN OUR HOTEL ROOM." Papyrus whispered, slowly taking off his scarf. "ON THREE, I SHALL GARB HER IN MY AWESOME SCARF AND YOU THROW HER OUT OF THE DOOR, ALRIGHT?"

The woman perked up at the sound of Papyrus' not at all quiet whispering, turning towards them with an excited glint in her eyes. Papyrus and Sans froze on the spot, subtly adopting a defensive stance.

"Mommy, Daddy! You're home...!"

Before any of them had the chance to act, the human flung herself at them, wrapping both skeletons in a tight embrace.

"...MOMMY?"

"daddy? bucko, you better get your delusional hands offa me and my brother before i rip 'em off."

The human jolted, turning to look at Sans with shock and fear in her eyes.

"Have I done something wrong, Mommy? I watched the children like you asked. I made sure that there were no burglars, I swear. Don't be mad at me..."

The human's voice was quiet, almost like Frisk, and if he wasn't as close as he was to the weird human he doubted he could've heard her.

"watch the...?"

Sans looked over her shoulder, blankly staring at the lack of furniture. No coffee table, no couches, no fancy television...it was like they were just ripped out of the ground and vanished.

"...HERBERT?"

Papyrus took the small creature into his arms, who melted into his touch with a satisfied smile. Sans turned up to look at him with the most incredulous expression a short, fat skeleton could muster.

"that is literally impossible. herbert was a _rock_ , papyrus. rocks do not... _turn_...into humans. or whatever she is." Sans brushed the hair from Herbert's forehead, staring at the moon symbol. "i retract that earlier statement, rocks do not simply turn into human- _like_...things. i honestly don't even know what to make of this right now."

"MAYBE THE ROCK HERBERT WE KNEW WAS MERELY A DISGUISE! HERBERT, WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT YOUR LIFE AS OUR HUMBLE PET?"

"Eating sprinkles and sitting in the snow while Mommy sleeps."

"SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT! WAIT." Papyrus' head swiveled over to glare at Sans. "YOU _LAZYBONES_ , YOU DIDN'T EVEN WALK HER?!"

Sans shrugged, deciding to play along. "of course i walked her, our...uh...rock is just a little confused. right, herbie?"

"DON'T PULL WOOL OVER MY EYES! YOU'RE A TERRIBLE MOTHER!"

"whoa, hey now, that offends me. who's been buyin' her sprinkles all this time, huh? not you."

"WHO'S BEEN GIVING HER DAILY EXERCISE, HUH? OH, 'NOT YOU'!" Papyrus replied, shoving his hands into his shorts in the best impression of his brother he could muster.

"ok wow, we're seriously doing this? alright fine-"

 _"Oh my god?"_

The skeletons slowly turned around to see a freshly awake Chara, mouth agape and staring at the naked woman gripping Papyrus, then Papyrus himself, and finally Sans. Herbert hopped off of Papyrus and darted in front of Chara, gripping his shoulders.

"Are you alright, young sir? Were you burglarized in your sleep? It's fine to tell me!"

Chara averted his eyes, his naturally rosy cheeks flaring up to an uncomfortable tomato red.

 **"P-Put some clothes on, idiot!"**

* * *

Chara pinched the bridge of his nose, sharply inhaled, and opened his eyes once again to stare at the skeleton brothers. In his peripheral vision, he could spot Frisk gently brushing and braiding Herbert's ridiculously long hair and Asriel humming an ancient lullaby as he delinted Papyrus' loaned 'COOL DUDE' t-shirt.

They were babying her. But it wasn't like he was jealous.

Not at all.

"So, ok, let me get this straight. Your pet rock ate the furniture while we were all asleep and evolved into...well...a 'sort-of' human?"

"THAT'S AS STRAIGHT AS THIS SITUATION WILL BE GETTING!" Papyrus chuckled awkwardly. "WHICH IS DECIDEDLY NOT THAT STRAIGHT ONCE PUT INTO PERSPECTIVE, BUT REGARDLESS..."

"Good enough. Any thoughts on this carnival of excitement, Sans?"

The smaller skeleton didn't look up from his laptop, but grunted in acknowledgement. "i'm researchin'."

"IS IT ABOUT THAT PRETTY COOL GLOWING MOON THING ON HER FOREHEAD?" Papyrus turned around at someone's poking to see Frisk showing off her handiwork, noticing two intricately done braids on both sides of Herbert's head. "OH, THAT'S VERY PRETTY, FRISK! REMEMBER TO SAY THANK YOU, HERBIE."

"Thank you, Auntie..."

Sans snorted, noting Frisk's positively glowing smile. "yeah, it is about that. y'know, you'd fit this mom role much better than i could, seein' as you're able to see these sorta things."

Papyrus stroked his chin, producing a soft _skrtch skrtch skrtch_. "YOU MAKE A VALID POINT, BROTHER! SINCE YOU ARE UNFIT TO STAR IN THIS ROLE, THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE THE MOM! FINALLY!"

Sans chuckled as Papyrus began rambling about how the finer workings of being a mother aligned with him through the stars, leaning over to Herbert and ruffling her hair. "got that, kiddo? papyrus is the new mom, while i got a demotion to ol' papa. or promotion, i guess..."

"Oh." Herbert turned to around to look at Chara. "Uncle? I'm still confused."

"We all are," Chara responded automatically, the depth of his comment not sinking in.

Frisk and Sans put down what they were doing to stare at the fallen child, the former blushing madly and the latter giving him a grin of epic proportions.

"...No, I wasn't thinking when I said it, so it doesn't count, idiots!"

Frisk slid over to his side, placing a dangerous hand on his right thigh. "Fate..."

"H-Hey, let's not forget here, I used to be a voice in your head **driving you to murder.** "

She shrugged. "It's different now."

 **"And that means I'm on your radar?!"**

Frisk shot him finger guns.

* * *

Asgore let out a disheartened sigh as he lost yet another round of Super Smash Brothers, prompting Toriel to let out a guilty chuckle and lightly embrace his arm. Grillby and Gaster, having been notified of the game night, decided to join the 'old crone's party', as they had eloquently put it.

"Do you really have trouble playing this game, Gorey?"

Asgore sighed again as he ran a paw through his golden mane. "I-I do...I have so much trouble attacking the other characters, even when they are supposed to be large gorillas or evil warlords...what if they have families and friends, too? The turtle king, err...Bowser, he has a son!"

{Sire, your compassion is most commendable, but need I remind you that they do not actually exist?}

"Well...if your multidimensional theorem was proven true, Doctor, who is to really say that they are fake?"

Gaster's grin widened. {A valid point, I suppose. Should we move on to a video game that requires less...brutality?}

A yawn escaped Grillby's mouth as he nodded. "Sure. Fuku's been gettin' on my case for not 'keeping up', whatever that means...y'know how we bought CDs back in the Underground to listen to music? Apparently that's all on the 'internet' now, for free."

"Ah, I've heard of that! I see Chara listen to music on his laptop sometimes, but it's so loud I can hear it out of his ear speakers..."

Toriel raised an eyebrow. "Chara never told me. What does he listen to?"

"Why, a polite man by the name of DMX! He doesn't let me listen to any of his songs though, because the man is too 'boring', so he says. His head bobs whenever he listens to him rather frequently, so maybe he falls asleep to them, hoho!"

The room went silent, save for Grillby's muffled chuckles. It was Gaster who eventually cleared his throat to gain his king's attention.

{Sire...do you know what a 'hardcore rap' is?}

* * *

 **A/N:** The **MOOOOOON**

Also, more old people shenanigans. Chara does strike me as the kind of kid who listens to edgy songs and confrontational rap unironically, though, I dunno.

Hope this chapter wasn't too much of a pull, but it's an idea I've had for a while. Next chapter is when the combat-action-pew-pew-magic happens, so stay tuned for that.

Also someone reign in Frisk, she's raising all sorts of flags that won't happen.


	32. Minisode 5: Gray Waves

The skeletons briskly walked out of the suite and locked the door behind them, leaving it quiet save for the sound of quiet snoring.

The rock then began glowing, taking in energy from the surrounding air. Levitating off the now fully absorbed coffee table, the rock was encased in a large cocoon of pure light as the humming grew in volume. After a full minute of pulling furniture inside to fuel it's growth, the cocoon rapidly grew cracks until the light died down, leaving the white pieces to slowly flake away as the deteriorating shell lowered itself onto the ground.

A young woman laid on the ground, looking to be in her early twenties. Hair as blue as the ocean, it's near impossible length cascading down her body in strategic (and fairly illogical) areas. Opening her eyes to reveal clear yellow irises, the woman brought her hands to her chest and looked around, breathing in deeply.

"...Oh," she stated flatly. "This is strange."

* * *

Sans breathlessly chuckled as he fiddled with the door lock. Papyrus did not share his humor, however, and opted to keep his hands busy lest they find themselves in his brother's skull.

"SANS, FOR THE LAST TIME, ASSAULTING THE CHEFS WITH COOKING-THEMED PUNS TO THE POINT WHERE ONE OF THEM _BROKE DOWN AND **CRIED**_ IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT! THAT'S TERRIBLE! YOU'RE TERRIBLE! YOUR PUNS ARE THOSE TERRIBLES COMBINED!"

"b-but...but he called _*snrk*_ h-he called me a 'doody'... _pffffffft-_ "

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, BROTHER, GROW UP!" Papyrus groaned as he opened the door. "HONESTLY, DO I NEED TO THROW YOU BACK INTO MONS...TER..."

Muffled singing could be heard from inside the room, causing the skeleton brothers to freeze and slowly ready defensive attacks. On the silent count of three, Papyrus busted the door open and tactically rolled in.

A naked human was simply sitting outside the bedroom door...singing. The tune was pleasant on the ears as it wafted through the air, weaving a tale of fate, birthright and conquest all at once. Her face was passive, not bored, but...Sans wracked his mind to try and find an appropriate analogy.

"...WHY DO I FEEL AS THOUGH WE DON'T HAVE THE PERMISSION TO BE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?"

The woman stopped singing as she heard different voices, tilting her head.

"...This must seem very strange. I am Azura, a princess of N-"

"yeah no we definitely cannot be doing this right now. yo, you!"

Sans pointed up at the ceiling.

"you can't be doin' this just because you found something funny! this is gonna be a whole 'nother timeline, bub!"

"OOH, DOES THIS ONE INVOLVE THEATRICAL SING-A-LONGS?"

"i-i guess? look, just...just end this. i can tell that there's another path you _should_ be following, go back there! don't worry about us, we'll deal with azuzu ourselves."

"Azura."

"NICE TO MEET YOU AZULA!"

* * *

 **A/N:** A guest commented that they thought the girl coming out of the rock was going to be Azura from Fire Emblem Fates.

For some reason I found this ridiculously hilarious to think of.


	33. Deus Ex

Sans just couldn't get this gnawing feeling out of his skull. Something was wrong, but it just wasn't apparent right now.

"GO FISH!"

"Papyrus, that is **not** how Cards Against Humanity works."

He allowed himself a chuckle when his brother stared at Asriel with a look of complete confusion. Nobody pointed out how Papyrus was currently holding his hand upside-down.

 _i'll just sit back and do what i do best._

"BUT SANS TOLD ME EVERY CARD GAME HAS A FISH GOING IN IT!"

Chara shot a withering glare at the short skeleton, who nonchalantly shrugged and sunk further into the couch.

"Of course you were as unreliable then as you are now, you sack of-"

Sans winked and threw a hand up, closing Chara's mouth with strategic blue magic. "gimme some slack, bucko. there weren't many other card masters in snowdin, so of course he...an _chose me._ "

Papyrus slapped his hands around Herbert's ears. " ** _NO_** , SANS! NOT THIS ONE! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL BE THE SHIELD AGAINST YOUR UNGODLY PUNS!"

"I think...it'd be a good idea to teach her jokes," Frisk muttered. "But that's neither _hear_ nor there."

"OH MY GOD?!"

"got 'em," Sans muttered, stretching out to properly lay on the couch. Feeling his consciousness drift and his thoughts scatter, the skeleton promptly decided to take a small nap

* * *

 **I͕̫̝̘͕͙̥͌̾́ͧ̃N̰̝͕̙̙ͯ͊ͦͬ͋̃̉S͐̓͐̌͌Í̺̉̊̿̋̽̓͟G̝N̴̮͔͚̳̺̼I̸͕̠͍͖̩͚͚ͪ̂ͬ͑ͬ̽̏F̢̦̩͆̌̓̏̌İ̥̫̬̣̤ͨC̷̤̰̪̝ͧ̔͑͋ͣA̶̞̦̭͚̣̼Ṋ̘̹͓̥̮Tͦͯ̂͑ͯ̏ͥ͏ ̧̠̠͓ͫH̹́E̷̩̭̻̱͍̤̫ͪAͬͣ̾͏̦͍̩͙̤͍T̘̼͍̥̼̝̗̍͌ͣ̑ͤ͛̎H̛͉̺̮̮͈͎̅ͫ͊͆͗ͅE̝͐ͣͨ́ͧ̌Ṉ̝͙͉́̒̈ͣ͞**

 _hey, hey who the he_ **S̴̼͈͍̘̯̊͐ͪ̽ͧ̆Ủ̝̮̙̥̠͈̝ͦ̈́ͯ̎̔͌̕B̧̭͓̗M̭͓͙̟͆ͪ̂I̬͉͎̦̦̥ͦͪȚͪ̋̆̎**

 _ge_ **X̝̤͚̯̣͗̍͊ͭͩ̑̆Y͖͔͂ͭX̨Y̷̞͚̺̔X͎͎̗͙̩ͦ̒ͬͩͪ̉Ȳ̸͙͑̽̇͋X̡̻̟̥͉̱̱͓ͯͪY͕ͭ̅ͣͤ̽͋X̶̩̫͙̐̈́͋̓́̆Y̅̐ͅX̱͎̩̖͔̋͠Ȳ̳̥ͯ́ͩ̆ͤ̀͝X̴́ͨ̉ͪY͔̝̥̮̬ͧͨͨ̾̽X̴̦̼͉͈̲Y̷X̹̫̠̞͒̊̀̇͐͆Ȳ͓̳͇̥̬̙̏̔̓X͚̗̊Y̢̞̜͕͍̣̰̣ͭ̿X͙̗͔̩͎̫͋̾ͧ̈̓Y̢̺̳̯̼̜̘X̪̕Y͖̦̺̳̮̳͞** _t o͉͚̼͍͇̎ͦ͒ͯ̃́͞ủ̹͔̰͂̾̋̓ṯ̼͆̉̂̍ͥ͒ͅt̘̯̳̤̾̉̽a̵̩ͫ̅ͮ̋ ̨̖̞ͬ̔̆m͓̠̮̻̿ͮ̋̓͠_ _y ̕h͠eád͡!_

 **p̶rotect̡e͜d** **v̷iŗtual** _no_ **͡v͘o͡i̵d̡ Co͘n̶fi͘gu͡rȩCo͟nt͝aìnȩŗ(͢)͘**  
 **̴{͡**  
 **͟ ́…̵**  
 **͠ C̷o̵ ̛terIns̨ta̡nce͞(͡C̛on̶t̴ain̕e̛r͝);**  
 **͘ ̷ …̶**  
 **͢ ̡ ̷if͏ (_͜u̧s͡e̵D̛e͟fa̢u̡lt̸Co̸nf̴iǵu͏r͠a͜t͠ion)͟**  
 **͠ ͢ ҉ ̛R̡eg͞i͝st͠e͏rTy͞peIf̴Mi͏ss͘i҉n͜g(ty͡p͝e͜of̛(̨IContain̷e̢rF̕ac҉a҉d͡e̛),͟ t̀ypeo͜f(U҉ni̡t̕y̧Cońtain͡e͟r͠Adapt̕er̴),͠ tr͜ue);̡**  
 **͏ ҉ ͜ ͞ ͡ Ręgi͠ste̢r͝Ty̢pe̛I͘fMi͢s̨si͢ng(͏t̨yp̨e̶of(I̵Ev҉en͢t̨A͝ǵg͟r͟e̵gat͏o͘r͜), t̵y͘peof̛(E͢v͢e͠n͘tA͘g͝gr̵ega̛tor͝)̛,͢ tr̶u̷e)̸;**  
 **̢ ̀ ̴R͡e̡gi͡sţe͜rTy҉peIfM͜i͢ss̛ing(҉typ҉e͠o͞f(͏Reg̷io̸n҉Adàp̵terMa̛ppi̸n҉gs̛), ̴t͟y͡peo͘f̧(Ŕeg̷io͞nA͏da͞p͠te̢r͟Ma͏ppings͟), true);͢**  
 **̡ ̕Reg҉i͞s͞t͟e͏rT̨ypeI̶fMiss҉iǹg͞(̡ty̧peof(͟I̡R͜e̸g̛i͘o͜nM̡anag͢er̀)̀,̧ ty̕p̨eof͠(RęgionMana͜ger), ̡t͏r͘ue);**  
 **͡ ͜ R̀e̸g̸is̸térTy͝peI͠fMi҉ss͢in̛g̷(͘type҉of(IM̴ǫdule͏L͏oa̷de̸r),͟ ̡typ̷e҉of(̶Mo҉d́u͟leLo͏a͟ḑe͏r), ̧t̛r͠u͜e҉)͡;̀**  
 **͟ ̸ ̡ ̨}̨**  
 **}**

 **.**

 _ș̭̝̞͑̎ͪ̓͢ͅt̨͛̆̀̆̅̍o̝̟̟̭̹ͯ̈ͣ́p̩͎̃ͤ̉͗͐ͯ͂!_  
̠̬̬̹̲ͦ̎͒̆̚

 **.**

 **RUN _' .EXE?**

 **Y/Y**

* * *

 _"no!"_ Sans screamed, right eye blazing blue and gold. Whipping around wildly, he found that the dreamscape wasn't as utterly terrifying as the last. Instead, there was...nothing.

A white void that racked his brain just thinking about it, extending as far as he could see (or even perceive). To his knowledge, he was entirely alone. Wiping the sweat from his skull, he decided to cheat the system and fall asleep in his own dream.

"Oh g̶̯͕̜̩̜̝ͅọ̗̰o̤͔̬͙̜͖d. You'r̤̲͔̫͕ͬ̊͋͌ͣ͒͟ȇ̽ up."

 _well screw that, then._

"sure am," Sans turned and promptly leaned back to avoid knocking heads with his new voidmate. "well," he chuckled, poking their chubby cheek. "you're not a frisk i've seen before. what name do you go by, bucko?"

"C͈̖͓̤͈̥͟ó̟̜͍̠̪̠re F̷̩r̰̗͓̲is̞͔̻̺͍̻̲̃ͪͦ̔͑̎͢k," they responded, gently brushing Sans' finger away. "I̡͐ͧ͐̾'̼ͧ̍ͮ̒ͥ͗̔ḓ̨̓ͥ̈̇̓ͭ͊ jus̛̪͚̞̫͕̗̄ͅt lik̑ĕ̜̰̳͈ͫͭ̋ͬ͋͝ it t͏͖̞̞̮o͏̜̗̖͕̥̦̣ bͨ͗̈e͐͝ Frisk, tho̊͐͜ugh."

Sans nodded and leaned back, subtly trying to shake the feeling of static off of his hand. "right on, little buddy. mind answering a few questions for me?"

"Sho̸ͭ̋̑ͯ͂͑́o̵̺͎̱͔͒̊̂̇͌t, B̀ṳ̧̩̪̱̲̯͒̊ͥ̇̓͌̇rge̴͔̻̮͓͔̭rpa͏̲̜̯ń̰̯̣͖̤̝ț̨̬̻̟͕̫ͅs͚̳."

"funny. anyway, why am i here? is this a dream? do you know if the last dream i had was significant? what am i going to have for dinner tomorrow?"

"E͇̬̜͖͞r..́.I ̷s̸aved̅͂͟ you fr̔ͣ̋̎͐͑̓om̍͛-"

"wait, wait." Sans held up his hands. "can you maybe...knock it off with the reverb and static in your voice? look, i'm not trying to sound petty, but it's kinda hard to listen to."

He winked. "and type."

Core Frisk stared blankly at him before pouting. "The other Sanses don't let me do it either. It sounds cool though, right?"

"yeah, point. continue."

"Right. What you were having before I came in wasn't a dream, it was your body being taken over by a...malignant entity. Thankfully, I ripped your soul out in time before he took that, too."

Sans' pupils fizzled out. "you took my _soul_?"

"No, I just explained what I did. I don't own your soul, but now your body in the real world doesn't either. Trust in that if I hadn't, you'd be a true terror to be facing right now."

"facing? what do you-"

* * *

"BROTHER! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU, BUT STOP THIS WANTON VIOLENCE IMMEDIATELY! ALTHOUGH I APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE EXERCISING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU LOOK PALE AND...NOT YOU!"

Papyrus flipped over another barrage of bones as he faced his brother...or at the very least, what used to be his brother. Clinging to his leg was Asriel, who put on a brave face despite shaking like a leaf in the wind.

His mind vaguely processed that Chara and Frisk had disappeared in the initial panic, but the immediate threat of a possessed Sans clouded his thoughts from further analysis.

"hhhhhhhh..."

Sans(?) swiped his arm left, summoning four pathetic Gaster Blasters, maws filled with broken teeth and eyelights flickering. Only two managed to shoot out wildly swerving beams, while the other two simply exploded from the uncontrolled power.

"WOWIE, THAT ATTACK WAS PRETTY BAD! I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY STOP FIGHTING NOW, BROTHER, THE ROOM IS BASICALLY TRASH AND CINDER AND THE HUMANS HAVE STARTED PLAYING MUSIC DOWNSTAIRS IN RECOGNITION OF OUR RIDICULOUS PROPERTY DAMAGE."

"T-T-Those are sirens, Papyrus. As in, the police are here." Asriel gulped. "To arrest us."

"OH! THAT'S REALLY NOT GOOD!"

* * *

Sans continued staring at the sphere even after it flickered black, almost like a TV turned off.

"Sans? Are you alr-"

"put me back."

Core Frisk squinted their eyes and tilted their head. "I-I don't-"

Gripping their shoulders roughly, Sans' eye flared up. "put. me. **back.** "

"Sans, I _can't!_ " Shaking free of his grip, Core Frisk pouted. "Your body was taken over by another party, as in it's not in my power to simply rip _him_ out too!"

"you're a timelord and you're telling me you can't just pull an easy-squeezy deus ex machineesy right now?!"

"His is a different kind of power that transcends my control of time and space!"

"that's totally a lie!"

 **"Okay, maybe it is!"** Core Frisk screamed back, winning their impromptu yelling contest. "I can't just stop him for indescribable reasons, Sans, but I do know how we can get your body back safe and sound!"

"ok," Sans responded, cool and collected as he normally is.

"...what?"

"i said ok. as in, lets do this. you 'n me against the world, kid."

"But you were just yelling at me a second ago. Aren't you still...frustrated?"

Sans shrugged. "yelling is very counter-productive in an environment like this, you know. you can't just go up to your teammate and be like 'hey, you smell'."

Core Frisk's face remained blank for a few seconds before scrunching up.

"You know, the other Sanses don't tease me this thoroughly."

"lewd."

* * *

 **A/N:** _oh my god there are so many things that went wrong_

Hey I'm not dead. That's cool I guess.

 **HEY QUESTION  
** Why did it take you a little more than a month to put this out?

A combination of some really tedious paperwork, not getting enough sleep ever (seriously what normal person sleeps for 4 hours and then goes to work for 8), and getting distracted with other games ate up an entire month. During this month, I picked and gnawed at writing several chapters at once (including an entire rework of another story), and this one was not exactly priority because I update this fic **MUCH** more frequently than my others.

So, I'm sorry, I know I'm not exactly a deadline guy but the time it took to make this fills me with SHAME. I'll try to get the next chapter out quicker, hopefully this chapter turned out...well? And I hope you guys leave a review, tell me what you think, if you liked/disliked etc.


	34. Prolific Discussion and Lasers

**"I AM THE** **FALLEN STAR. THE SOVEREIGN OF SPACE. THE OMNIPOTENT MASTER OF THE FINAL FRONTIER. NO CAGE, CRAFTED BY MORTAL OR BEAST, CAN CONTAIN MY MIGHT."**

Asriel sighed irritably as he gazed over at Sans(?), who was restrained with a straight-jacket in the corner of the holding cell. Taking out a small book titled 'Botanical Encyclopedia - Pocket Edition', he lied down onto the cot. "Papyrus, can you please tell Maybe-But-Probably-Not Sans to stop threatening us with...uh...dimensional vaporization, right?"

"YEP! FREAKY SANS, STOP YOUR INCESSANT THREATS (AND VAGUELY DEMONIC CHANTING) AT ONCE! (BUT MOSTLY THE CHANTING)"

 **"TÆLAK MAH, H'NATH** **ÇELDARAA!"  
**

"NOW SEE HERE, THIS IS WHY ALL THE GUARDS LEFT US ALONE! NOT ONLY HAS YOUR BOORISH ATTITUDE RUINED MY FRIEND-MAKING ATTEMPTS, BUT-"

Sans(?) jerked his head towards Papyrus, mouth twitching to as neutral of a line as it could get. **"QUIET! REPEAT THAT PREVIOUS STATEMENT AGAIN, WORM."**

Not noticing Asriel's attempts to "WELL ACTUALLY I'M A SKELETON, BUT REGARDLESS! THE NICE POLICEMEN SENDING US FOOD AND VAGUE THREATS ABOUT OUR FREEDOM HAVE LEFT BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON 'DOWNTOWN' AND WE'RE NOT 'WORTH THE TIME'. PRETTY INSULTING, RIGHT?"

A low, menacing chuckle gurgled out of Sans(?).

 **"PERHAPS EVEN A FOOL LIKE YOU HAS IT'S USE. COME, PUPPYROSE, NOW THAT THE WARDENS HAVE TAKEN THEIR EYES OFF OF THIS CAGE WE SHALL RIDE UPON THE WINGS OF THE _DEVIL_ AND LAY WASTE TO THIS PITIFUL PLANET UNINHIBITED."**

"WOWIE, YOU SOUND LIKE CHARA WHENEVER HE WATCHES HIS JAPANESE CARTOONS ABOUT MUSCLE MEN AND DEMON KISSING! BUT THE 'LAYING WASTE' PART WAS A JAPE, RIGHT?"

Effortlessly ripping an arm out of the jacket, Sans(?) closed his fist. The iron bars of the cell bent with an agonizing moan, giving the trio a wide berth of escape.

 **"WE'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT, WON'T WE?"**

Asriel wiped sweat off of his forehead as he followed Papyrus out of the cell. Abruptly pausing, Asriel slowly pulled a flower petal out of his pocket and whispered to it. After a minute, his message was completed, and he gently stretched his arm out to let the petal flutter off into the wind

"If only Frisk and Chara were here to tell me what to do...well, I hope that was good enough."

He watched as Sans(?) snapped his fingers again as they neared the station's exit, summoning two Gaster Blasters to his side.

"I-It...it has to be."

* * *

Hummelstown, Pennsylvania. A quaint borough nestled between Hershey and Harrisburg. Two individuals sat on a lone bench in the square, the lampposts keeping the street from being completely dark.

"Okay so, run me by the plan again so I don't think we just turned tail and ran like sissies. And abandoned Azzy."

"Contact."

Chara rolled his eyes. "You still have yet to tell me who this 'contact' guy is. You aren't...doing anything, y'know... _shady_ ," Chara threw his arms out of emphasis. "Right?"

"Nope."

"I hope not," a voice called out, gravelly and snide. "That wouldn't be the little buddy I knew."

Turning her head, Frisk smiled and waved over at Burgerpants, who rolled his eyes and looked away with a grimace.

 _His tail is giving away everything,_ Chara mused, watching it sway contentedly as the cat monster made his way over to their bench.

"I'm surprised you kept my number, kid." Burgerpants began, fishing out a cigarette from his coat pocket. With a snap of his fingers, a small puff of fire appeared. Frisk gasped at the surprise use of magic, while Chara rolled his eyes and muttered about how their parents could do that but better.

"Heh, yeah. Not a lot of people think I can...do stuff, y'know? But lookit me now," Burgerpants smiled widely, although it came out to look a bit sleazy. "Several indie movies under my belt and my own autobiography. Anyway, enough about me, what'd ya call me out for?"

Frisk cleared her throat. "Exorcism."

"What," Chara and Burgerpants blankly stated, staring at her.

"You're a priest...?"

Chara's eyes flicked over to Burgerpants, who nervously chuckled and scratched his arm. "Look, it was an online course, it took like three hours, and it looks good on a resume!"

"Right. So, you think the thing that grabbed Sans is a demon, or a ghost, or...?"

"Yep."

"Okay, fine. What do you do after you out the blatantly malicious ghost demon thing and confront it?"

"Hug it."

Burgerpants raised an eyebrow, rolling his cigarette around. "You can't hug a ghost, kid. They got that whole 'wibbly body' thing going on."

"If anyone can perform a miracle, it's Frisk. Trust me, I used to be a scraggly psychopath who wanted to kill all humans, but now look at me. I've rebounded so strongly despite all the weird happenings that it kinda feels like a half-baked, shoddy fanfic."

Frisk lightly karate-chopped the back of his head. "Stop that."

"Right. So, uh, we movin' out then...teaaaaam?" Burgerpants gave them a stiff, awkward smile. Both children quickly came to the conclusion that this is the first time the cat had ever sincerely smiled at someone.

"Yep. Sans might be...anywhere."

 _*BOM*_

"Or he could be there," Chara flatly remarked, pointing to a burst of light-blue fire in the distance. If one looked closely, they would notice small pricks of white appear out of thin air around the air, spraying it with lasers.

"Err...this is going to be dangerous, isn't it?"

Frisk hopped off the bench and began running with Chara's hand in her firm grip, throwing a bland "Yep" over her shoulders. Watching them run off, Burgerpants looked around before pulling the cigarette out of his mouth and letting out a puff of smoke. Dropping it to the ground and stomping it out, he began jogging after them.

"Least this is good movie material. Oi, kids, wait for me, would ya?!"

* * *

"Alright, I feel your energy pulsating a bit more strongly. We should be coming up to the Prison very shortly, and if we can destroy his conscience we can plant you back into your body."

"okay."

Sans took a hand out of his coat pocket to scratch his skull, idly looking around at the blank white void they'd been walking in for the past couple of hours. Honestly, it was so boring that he had lost track of time.

"Hey Sans, what do think of this whole thing?"

"...uh, whaddya mean?"

"You know..." Core Frisk threw his arms out and spun around. "This. All this...dimension stuff. Situations popping up left and right with seemingly no rhythm or reason, longer periods where nothing happens...don't you get bored? Don't you just want to leave and maybe leave it to another timeline to keep the ball rolling?"

Phalanges found their way under Sans' chin as he mulled over Core Frisk's thought process.

"it's...not fun, i guess? getting to the surface and _staying here_ was something i never honestly thought would happen, but it did. it's real quirky up here, y'know? i've found timelines that follow a 'plot', y'know, grim, cutesy and everything in-between. i guess all i have to say about it is that i _have_ to keep going on, especially in comparison to them. i can't give up, there are people out there waiting for me. waiting for me to be there, crack a joke, be...emotive?"

Core Frisk looked away from him. "That's pretty deep. But, you don't really have to... _do_ this. I could always just take the easy way out and just supplant you back into your own body ASAP and appeal the rest."

"but i thought you said that you 'just couldn't'?" Sans winked. Core Frisk blushed a little, but stood his ground.

"You're right, but if you're really not enjoying this, and it doesn't look like you are, I'm sure my superiors would understand. After all, it's tough to keep having to get up and deal with this crazy nonsense every day. If I end it here, maybe pull a few more strings, I can make it so that you guys just visited the park, Herbert never awoke to her true form and just," Frisk snapped his fingers. "Leave it at that."

Sans snorted. "ignoring the offhanded mention that you could easily just write an ending to this arc in my unlife but you're a slave to your bosses so you won't, if you just abruptly ended it here, then the moon people would need their own spinoff crossover fic. not worth it right now."

"...What?"

"nothin'. but in any case, let's just stick to the plan. i don't know how, i dunno why, but i feel like everything is just _going_ to work out, y'know? this is basically the peak of 'situations that really don't make sense, my dude'. maybe it'll calm down after this, because i mean _really_ , how zanier can this timeline get?"

"Point."

The two fell silent, continuing their walk in a seemingly endless void.

* * *

 **A/N:** Wow, more setting up stuff, Beanus? Where's the cool Sans fight? Where's all the laser gun aliens and romantic subplot where Chara grabs Frisk's hand to save her from falling off a cliff, only to realize that he _loves her?_

I regret that last part, but regardless.

Sorry that it took so long to get this chapter out, I have a crippling addiction to vidya games and I need help. Also, I managed to download Granblue Fantasy on my phone, so gg more time I could've spent writing I'm instead spending time on rolling the gacha for some sweet fire daggers 'n stuff.

 **EDIT:** Literally two minutes after I wrote that, I rolled Fire Baselard +1, which is basically a really bad fire dagger.

 ** _JUST LET ME ROLL A SSR ALREADY._**


	35. Hiatus

I'll just cut to the chase, since this is the only time I feel as though joking around won't really make things better.

It's now official; Bonetrousle is on hiatus. I've got no tricks up my sleeves this time, it's too much of a chaotic mess and not in the good way. Do I hate the story and _never_ want to update it again? No. Do I want to fix the story's fundamental issues? Yes, but I sadly have no time for the latter due to my work taking precedent over my hobby.

I just don't have the motivation **and time** to brainstorm and write all day anymore. Flimsy reasoning, I'm aware, but Bonetrousle is starting to feel like a big looming threat - I can't update ***insert other story here*** because a lot of people are waiting for Bonetrousle, I don't have any ideas for the next chapter, oh no, etc.

It hurts. Typing this out is truly a pain to one of my most successful stories, even if I fully intend for it to be temporary. But I need to get this done for peace of mind and closure to a fanbase that has been nothing but supportive of this fic and wondering where it went even when being kept in the dark.

I'm so sorry to disappoint all of you, because here's where the part you might hate comes in. I'm going to be writing for other stories, not regularly but I will be. This includes Puzzling the Competition, my OPM fic that just barely got off the ground _months ago_ and one fic on AO3 (Archive of Our Own). To be completely cliche, this isn't 'goodbye' so much as it is 'see you again some time'. I'll be around, but don't expect new Bonetrousle chapters for a very long time.

-Bean


End file.
